Happy Update

[winny]

To all the community members who have been there for me during days of heart breaks, pain, disappointments, tears, anxiety, fears, insecurity, being ghosted, dumped..... in the last 4.5 years, I want to inform you that I am dating someone wonderful. He recently asked me to be his girlfriend.

 

For the first time ever I am in a healthy relationship, in fact I am discovering how a healthy relationship feels like and if I have to describe how I feel in one word..I feel "PEACE".

 

Anyone out there today who is feeling disappointed with their dating life (you can read my previous posts to know what all crap I had to go thru) I hope this update helps you to not give up.

[Gaeta]

Thanks for the good news! Enjoy every moment The important in finding the one is patience! Good things don't come easy.

[alphamale]

that's great news winny

[FilterCoffee]

So happy for you winny What do you attribute this to? Luck? Self improvement? Change in perception?

[Sara1989]

Stories like this give me hope....been nearly 3 years single for me and meeting so many hopeless cases.

[winny]

So happy for you winny What do you attribute this to? Luck? Self improvement? Change in perception?

 

Great question.

 

Few things which I feel made a difference:

• I forced myself to not get involved (get diverted and waste time) in casual relationships which although can be easy to get for a woman and which tempt you when you are terribly lonely, yet leave you feeling very empty at the end. That filtered out many guys.
   
  
• A lot of emotional strength (Which I perhaps developed by many bad experiences) due to which I felt very secure in the first few dates. I just knew that if this did not work then still I will be okay, just the way I was okay after the ones which I previously hoped so bad to work, did not. I think this security just made a big impact on how I acted on the initial dates or how communication thru texts etc. progressed. I did not have to try to look secure, I was actually secure. I surprised myself with how stable I was feeling. And its not just in my dating life but it's something I have had been feeling in past few months in other aspects of my life as well.
   
  
• No games.
  

 

Of course, him being an emotionally healthy person who is open about his feelings... and communicates clearly and not does not create situations where I start feeling insecure... helped a lot.

[Cookiesandough]

So happy for you winny !!!!

[FilterCoffee]

Great question.

 

Few things which I feel made a difference:

• I forced myself to not get involved (get diverted and waste time) in casual relationships which although can be easy to get for a woman and which tempt you when you are terribly lonely, yet leave you feeling very empty at the end. That filtered out many guys.
   
  
• A lot of emotional strength (Which I perhaps developed by many bad experiences) due to which I felt very secure in the first few dates. I just knew that if this did not work then still I will be okay, just the way I was okay after the ones which I previously hoped so bad to work, did not. I think this security just made a big impact on how I acted on the initial dates or how communication thru texts etc. progressed. I did not have to try to look secure, I was actually secure. I surprised myself with how stable I was feeling. And its not just in my dating life but it's something I have had been feeling in past few months in other aspects of my life as well.
   
  
• No games.
  

 

Of course, him being an emotionally healthy person who is open about his feelings... and communicates clearly and not does not create situations where I start feeling insecure... helped a lot.

 

Those are some great insights. The focus to find the right match and the emotional maturity to be your best self. There are numerous people who could learn from this!