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She sent a valentines text after 6 weeks of no contact after stopping our dating


fmfan08

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Six weeks ago I went on four dates with a girl who I was quite smitten with and we spoke a lot over text. We both had a lot in common which was her words. Things were positive, really long texts, signs of interests. Between our 3rd and 4th date I sensed something was off and stepped back a little and on the 4th date it was a little off. She probably did 75% of the initiating of texting as I prefer saving all the talk for the dates, but we did keep contact.

 

Couple of days after the date she told me she want's "something more" (like more contact, more effort even though we were texting everyday) and that we were different, wanting different things, she saw it as more friends than dating, the usual stuff, etc. I thought the essay length replies every day was enough and she seemed a bit needy.

 

We said our peace and I cut contact, deleted her number so I wouldn't contact her and focused on myself.

 

After a few weeks I got over it and was focusing on myself with an interview this Friday planned which I posted on Facebook. I was becoming happy with myself.

 

On Valentines Day, I wasn't thinking about her until I got a text at 11pm that said "Happy Valentines Day <3".

 

I recognised her number and knew it was her. I decided to be decent and I replied "Happy Valentines Day". Not had a response and that's okay, I didn't expect the text in the first place but I appreciated the nice gesture.

 

Just a little confused.. I'm guessing it was a friendly text but confused with the love heart and that we haven't spoken for 6 weeks. I'd fully understand if we stayed friends or in some sort of contact. She's got an iPhone so I know she can't send it to all her contacts at once, so she'd have to click my name specifically to send it to me

 

I deleted the text so it's back to how it was and I'll continue to focus on myself and my career, but the text with a love heart after 6 weeks of no contact threw me off. Do you find this strange? I wouldn't be contacting a girl on Valentines Day that I rejected and haven't spoken to for 6 weeks, incase I misled her :confused:

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CautiouslyOptimistic

Is she a drinker? Maybe she was drowning her single sorrows and was trying to get some attention.

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Cookiesandough

Not that strange. I wouldn’t pay it any mind if I were you.

Edited by Cookiesandough
Y
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Not that strange. I wouldn’t pay it any mind if I were you.

 

I think the timing has just been annoying, with my mind focused on the interview that is two days later.. It's drifted my mind away from what I should be focusing on. I would've preferred silence from her because I finally stopped thinking about it and now it's started again.

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PrincessPeach

Not too terribly strange. We've all made those late night text blunders after feeling a little lonely or drinking a little. It's a little embarrassing but it happens.

 

I wouldn't read into it and wouldn't try to re-establish anything.

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Is she a drinker? Maybe she was drowning her single sorrows and was trying to get some attention.

 

She lightly drinked when we were out but she never showed signs of not handling it. But then if she was drunk, it's odd that her drunken mind would think about texting me.

 

I replied back to be nice and hoping that's it now. I'm going to have to restart getting over her/not thinking about her again but at least it'll be easier this time.

 

This is the point where I'd try to meet another girl to forget about the last one, but I think girls could instinctively tell I "wasn't really into it" so I took a break to be happy being single before I dabble in dating again.

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Not too terribly strange. We've all made those late night text blunders after feeling a little lonely or drinking a little. It's a little embarrassing but it happens.

 

I wouldn't read into it and wouldn't try to re-establish anything.

 

Fair enough, I didn't want to get into a second round with her as I want to focus on getting my career sorted firstly and I'd rather meet someone who knows they like me for definite.

 

Was I right to return the "Happy Valentines day" or should I have just ignored?

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PrincessPeach
Fair enough, I didn't want to get into a second round with her as I want to focus on getting my career sorted firstly and I'd rather meet someone who knows they like me for definite.

 

Was I right to return the "Happy Valentines day" or should I have just ignored?

Probably would have been better to ignore it, though I don't think there is likely to be harm from your response. But having been a lonely girl, sometimes the reply is nice even if it goes nowhere. I'd refrain from future replies to her though.

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Maybe there was another guy in the picture, and this was her trying to reach out now that it ended with him.... or it was just a friendship/attention. thing. Some female friends (who I've dated) also texted me on Valentine's day, didn't mean anything.

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Maybe there was another guy in the picture, and this was her trying to reach out now that it ended with him.... or it was just a friendship/attention. thing. Some female friends (who I've dated) also texted me on Valentine's day, didn't mean anything.

 

I did get a sense there could be someone else as she was still using online dating but claimed to only be on there because she saw me online. I still think there was someone else. I guess I find it odd because we haven't spoken for weeks and she throws a love heart in. I'd understand if there was the odd bit of contact in between but she knew I didn't want to be friends.

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Probably would have been better to ignore it, though I don't think there is likely to be harm from your response. But having been a lonely girl, sometimes the reply is nice even if it goes nowhere. I'd refrain from future replies to her though.

 

I'll ignore then if it's something that doesn't require an answer. If she ever reaches out with a genuine question, I'll probably just answer it but not return the question to be nice but not to encourage conversation. I don't like being ignorant if I'm asked a question, but that's just how I am

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Cookiesandough

I think she was probably honest when she told you she’s looking for something else, but it was v-day and a reminder she has not found it, was still so single and alone, so she reached out to you. Maybe drinking. Who knows. If she really wanted to date you again and she is the one who called it off she should have done better than that.

 

Why go backwards anyway? ... I wouldn’t.

 

You responding back happy v-day was affirmation you’re still on her string. Was that all she said? Probably all she needed to know. I guess kind of like bread crumbs for validation.

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I think she was probably honest when she told you she’s looking for something else, but it was v-day and a reminder she has not found it, was still so single and alone, so she reached out to you. Maybe drinking. Who knows. If she really wanted to date you again and she is the one who called it off she should have done better than that.

 

Why go backwards anyway? ... I wouldn’t.

 

You responding back happy v-day was affirmation you’re still on her string. Was that all she said? Probably all she needed to know. I guess kind of like bread crumbs for validation.

 

Yeah, that's all she said. Kinda wish I didn't now and just ignored it but had a feeling if I did do that, I'd be told it was wrong to ignore, etc.

 

Meh, guess I should've just ignored but what's done is done. She probably thinks I've been pining over her this whole time now which is not what I wanted because I've been doing the exact opposite and getting over her, mind being on other things. I'd have sent the same reply out of niceness if it was anyone tbh. I did send the reply not realising it was her for definite, but had a feeling it might.

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Cookiesandough

It’s okay. It doesn’t really matter what she thinks anyway. I mean, you haven’t been thinking of her but you said happy Valentine’s Day. Worst thing that happens is you give her a little boost and made her day a little better. It’s kind of sad what she did anyway if you think about it. She’s probably still out there looking for someone who may not even exist. I wouldn’t worry about it and keep doing you :)

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CantTakeMySmile

After four dates, I doubt she thinks you are pining over her. And if she does, who cares? You don’t want to be with her. You have moved on and who cares what she thinks?! Texting her back was no big deal. I texted many of my friends (some exes) happy Valentine’s Day ?

 

 

And I meant nothin by it.. except happy Valentine’s Day.

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CantTakeMySmile
After four dates, I doubt she thinks you are pining over her. And if she does, who cares? You don’t want to be with her. You have moved on and who cares what she thinks?! Texting her back was no big deal. I texted many of my friends (some exes) happy Valentine’s Day ?

 

 

And I meant nothin by it.. except happy Valentine’s Day.

 

And girls love emoticons. Lol

 

My question is why did it intrigue you enough to post here?

 

 

One of my exes sent me a message as well, I just rolled my eyes. Certainly not a big enough deal to discuss. And we dated two years!!

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Tonight I came across the blog of my ex of 3 months (middle of 2017) and her recent post mentioned I was the rebound relationship and that she wasn’t really over her ex. At the time I had the feeling but was gutting to hear and blocked all forms of contact (this is a different girl to my OP).

 

It’s a double hit for me this week, but I still carry on with my life purpose. I’m going to smash this interview tomorrow and continue with my fresh adventure into music production as my hobby. I know I’ll meet someone worthy in time when I’m ready and someone who is completely over their ex.

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She's used to most guys begging for her after she turns them down. Your NC response threw her off. She probably thinks you are dating another woman now and is trying one of several things:

 

- She's lonely and she's digging through old numbers to see who takes the bite.

 

- She's fishing for attention from you to see if you are still sprung for her.

 

- Her other prospective dates or relationships didn't work out so she's falling back on old ground.

 

Either way and regardless, you shouldn't have responded to her text. Just deleted and blocked.

 

No matter. Just block her. Be someone's priority not their option.

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I think she still likes you, and probably was waiting for your happy Vday text.

You didn't text her that so at the end of the day she sent you one

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She still likes you in some way. Maybe she regrets her decision and is wondering if you're still interested in her. She hoped for a Valentine's message and when you didn't send one, decided to do it. Maybe she's hoping this will open the door for you to reach out to her.

 

Or maybe she was trying to be nice. Maybe hoping to keep you as a second choice.

 

There's no way of knowing her motive. You're no longer interested, but if you are, you need to be careful. The second time is often no different than the first. She might reach out again.

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This is that breadcrumb thing that exes do on holidays. I learned about this this past Christmas. Just ignore it, it means nothing and they only do it on holidays.

 

Again, it means nothing.

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MaleIntuition

People seem quick to judge it as insignificant.

 

Girls doing 180s isn’t exactly uncommon. Why would someone indifferent even bother to text? Nah. I think this was a “feeler”, the holiday was an excuse to text and judge your interest level. The good part about being the dumpee is that you don’t have to second guess your decision.

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I'm a guy but I reached out to my ex to wish her a happy Valentine's Day. I'm in close contact with her daily so it wasn't that unusual. I also reached out to a whole plethora of my female friends wishing them a Happy Valentine's day as well. There was no hidden meaning behind any of that other than I wanted to make sure somebody told them to have a happy Valentine's Day.

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She's used to most guys begging for her after she turns them down. Your NC response threw her off. She probably thinks you are dating another woman now and is trying one of several things:

 

- She's lonely and she's digging through old numbers to see who takes the bite.

 

- She's fishing for attention from you to see if you are still sprung for her.

 

- Her other prospective dates or relationships didn't work out so she's falling back on old ground.

 

Either way and regardless, you shouldn't have responded to her text. Just deleted and blocked.

 

No matter. Just block her. Be someone's priority not their option.

 

This. So much this.

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