Huhjtg Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 Should you be upset if your bf didn’t get you a valentines gift? We’ve been dating for a few months. He had a serious wreck and broke his neck not too long ago so he hasn’t worked in 4 months. So i tried to be understanding because he doesn’t have and income right now. But i still feel a little hurt and unappreciated Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 Geezz give the guy a break! He's injured AND broke! You should be the one pampering him on this day!! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 Did you get him a gift? Did you make it known that you'd like to celebrate Valentines? Do you generally feel hurt and unappreciated in the relationship or are you just mad about this one day? Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 Gosh OP, he broke his neck, has been unemployed and you just posted today you gave him thrush -- give the guy a break. You should be pampering him! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 I just said this to another poster . . . especially because this is the 1st Valentine's Day you ever spent with this guy you needed to have a discussion with him Last Week about your expectations. If you didn't tell him in advance what you wanted, then you can't be mad at him. Sitting silently & seething is you punishing him for not reading your mind & that's not fair. You can be hurt & you can tell him you are hurt that he didn't even so much as make you a card for free but you have to follow that statement with a plan to communicate better going forward. Some may call me High Maintenance but I always said something along the following lines to a new guy. Valentine's Day is a commercial holiday so please do not buy me overpriced roses or take me out to dinner on the day itself. I do expect a card & a small box of chocolate; I also want a large box on Feb 15 when it's half price. DH & I had a plan to get each other comparable, expensive, exercise gifts (mountain bikes) this year for use in the Spring. We never got around to going to the store. I looked at him yesterday & said we didn't do the bike thing, what are we doing now? He shrugged. Then we agreed on a heart shaped pizza & candy on the 15th. We do have dinner reservations for next Saturday which was always going to be our "valentine's date" but the point is we talked about it. . .so no hurt feelings. Now we still have to find time to go get those bikes. <sigh> 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 Should you be upset if your bf didn’t get you a valentines gift? We’ve been dating for a few months. He had a serious wreck and broke his neck not too long ago so he hasn’t worked in 4 months. So i tried to be understanding because he doesn’t have and income right now. But i still feel a little hurt and unappreciated ***sigh*** 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lorenza Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 Yes, you should be upset. Valentines day is the only day of the year when your boyfriend can prove his love to you. He should be giving you roses and wine and chocolate and if he failed to do that - he simply doesn't love or appreciate you. Valentines day always reveals how devoted the boyfriend really is. If your's really felt anything for you, he'd be at your door with flowers this very moment, broken neck or not. ... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Huhjtg Posted February 14, 2018 Author Share Posted February 14, 2018 Did you get him a gift? Did you make it known that you'd like to celebrate Valentines? Do you generally feel hurt and unappreciated in the relationship or are you just mad about this one day? Honestly i don’t know if i should feel hurt or unappreciated. We never go out on dates, we always hang out at his house. He got me a little something for Christmas but i didn’t even get to see him today for Valentine’s Day. Part of me feels unappreciated and hurt but at the same time i know things are tight for him right now and I’ve been trying to give him the benefit of the doubt Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 Honestly i don’t know if i should feel hurt or unappreciated. We never go out on dates, we always hang out at his house. He got me a little something for Christmas but i didn’t even get to see him today for Valentine’s Day. Part of me feels unappreciated and hurt but at the same time i know things are tight for him right now and I’ve been trying to give him the benefit of the doubt Leaving the house doesn't have to cost money. You could pack some lunch and have a picnic. Unless his neck injury means that he's housebound?? Does his injury prohibit him from coming to your place? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Huhjtg Posted February 14, 2018 Author Share Posted February 14, 2018 Leaving the house doesn't have to cost money. You could pack some lunch and have a picnic. Unless his neck injury means that he's housebound?? Does his injury prohibit him from coming to your place? No but he wrecked and totaled his truck and so it is hard for him to come to my place Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 Honestly i don’t know if i should feel hurt or unappreciated. We never go out on dates, we always hang out at his house. He got me a little something for Christmas but i didn’t even get to see him today for Valentine’s Day. Part of me feels unappreciated and hurt but at the same time i know things are tight for him right now and I’ve been trying to give him the benefit of the doubt If you are unhappy and feel unappreciated LEAVE! The guy should not make you feel unappreciated and he should make at least some effort (home made card, hand picked flowers heck anything). Dates don't have to cost money. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 You have posted a lot of negative things about this guy in a short amount of time. Are you sure he is the guy for you? A few months in I am usually SMITTEN with the guy I am dating.... Well if not, I am not dating him. You feel unappreciated and unheard when it comes to sex... And now Valentine's day. As for the yeast / thrush thing. I think you should really see a doctor and rule out STDs. You were a virgin and he as not correct? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 Honestly i don’t know if i should feel hurt or unappreciated. We never go out on dates, we always hang out at his house. He got me a little something for Christmas but i didn’t even get to see him today for Valentine’s Day. Part of me feels unappreciated and hurt but at the same time i know things are tight for him right now and I’ve been trying to give him the benefit of the doubt He's broke financially & broken physically. Exactly what would have made today better for you? What would make you feel appreciated in the relationship? Are your expectations reasonable? If so, tell him you are unhappy & questioning his level of interest then give him specifics on the changes you would like but be open to changing things he's not crazy about. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 Oh wait . . . this is the guy who talked about "banging" you after your 1st sexual experience. No wonder you don't feel appreciated. It's not you. You're dating the wrong guy. He's irresponsible & selfish. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 Remember, we are all slaves to capitalism and advertising. We have been brainwashed into thinking by florists, retailers, jewelers and candy makers that this is how you are supposed to show love for one another. Love actually doesn't cost a thing. But with that being said, this holiday is a testament to it. If he does not acknowledge it, he's not that into you if it's a new relationship. But as it is not quite "new" (as you've been together for about 4 months now), maybe if he said "Happy Valentine's Day, I'm sorry I didn't get you anything but with the injury and no income it's been hard on me. Just wanted to tell you that I love you or I'm thinking about you." That's enough. And he should SAY it to you, not text you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 Honestly i don’t know if i should feel hurt or unappreciated. We never go out on dates, we always hang out at his house. He got me a little something for Christmas but i didn’t even get to see him today for Valentine’s Day. Part of me feels unappreciated and hurt but at the same time i know things are tight for him right now and I’ve been trying to give him the benefit of the doubt I wrote that in another thread : if a woman makes a huge deal over V day it's because she's probably disappointed the other 364 days of the year and she hopes her bf/husband will make up for it on that day. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 if a woman makes a huge deal over V day it's because she's probably disappointed the other 364 days of the year and she hopes her bf/husband will make up for it on that day. Absolutely right! I am awesome for 364 days of the year so no need to do anything on V day. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 If it was just Valentines Day, I'd say let it go. But you have created several threads about him, all of them painting a not-very-nice picture of him. So basically you have a guy here who puts in no effort in the bedroom, no romantic effort, and is a bit of an insensitive douche. And you found all this out after only a few months! Probably best to cut your losses here. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Huhjtg Posted February 15, 2018 Author Share Posted February 15, 2018 Remember, we are all slaves to capitalism and advertising. We have been brainwashed into thinking by florists, retailers, jewelers and candy makers that this is how you are supposed to show love for one another. Love actually doesn't cost a thing. But with that being said, this holiday is a testament to it. If he does not acknowledge it, he's not that into you if it's a new relationship. But as it is not quite "new" (as you've been together for about 4 months now), maybe if he said "Happy Valentine's Day, I'm sorry I didn't get you anything but with the injury and no income it's been hard on me. Just wanted to tell you that I love you or I'm thinking about you." That's enough. And he should SAY it to you, not text you. Yeah you’re right. He did tell me happy valentines day multiple times and he apologized and said he felt like **** for not being able to get me anything. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 Yeah you’re right. He did tell me happy valentines day multiple times and he apologized and said he felt like **** for not being able to get me anything. Based on your other thread, I'll venture to say he did give you something. The flu. Mine started out with a wicked sore throat. Come back in a couple of days and let me know. Drink lots of OJ, and get some rest. It's bad this year. (I'm not joking). Link to post Share on other sites
FilterCoffee Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 I can understand why you’re upset. Unless the girl actually says she doesn’t want anything, the guy must assume that the day is important to her. I’ve always tried to do something for my gfs; a hand written card, chocolates, flowers, thoughtful gifts etc. But having said that, my gfs always got me something too so did you do anything for him? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 (edited) I’m trying to warn you. You’ll be hard pressed to find an f boy who buys gifts unless he wants something and then it’d be like a coupon book for free sex from him Edited February 15, 2018 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
heavenonearth Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 It's just a capitalist invention. Everyday can be Valentines day. Link to post Share on other sites
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