LoverOfDance Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 Hi guys, so I need some guidance if anyone can offer some. I'm talking to this guy online. He messaged me first but now somehow i'm finding myself asking all the questions. I don't understand. Why isn't he asking me any questions even though he messaged first? What is that about? Fellas, how do you think I should handle this? Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 Hi guys, so I need some guidance if anyone can offer some. I'm talking to this guy online. He messaged me first but now somehow i'm finding myself asking all the questions. I don't understand. Why isn't he asking me any questions even though he messaged first? What is that about? Fellas, how do you think I should handle this? What did his first message say? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoverOfDance Posted February 14, 2018 Author Share Posted February 14, 2018 Thanks for the reply :-) He said "Hi ...., hope you're having a good week so far" Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 Thanks for the reply :-) He said "Hi ...., hope you're having a good week so far" And even that wasn't a question lol! I think this is a guy who messages a lot of people just seeing who will respond, not really intending to get to know the other person. Just my theory knowing nothing else about the guy! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 Can you include some information about yourself with the next question?? Something like... "Do you like your job?? I really like mine" And see if he asks you about your job... It doesn't have to be job, anything can be substituted pets, favorite flavor of ice cream, anything that would lead him to ask a question. See if that works... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 I don't ask questions. It's because I don't like it when the date asks me a lot of questions. Getting to know me? They tend to ask all the questions that have nothing to do with who I am. Maybe it's important to them? Where my sister lives? I prefer to let the guy tell me what he wants me to know about him. That's why I don't ask questions. I just listen. I learn more about him through his choice of what to share. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 Why isn't he asking me any questions even though he messaged first? Either a) he's a time waster or b) he lacks social skills 3 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 I'm a guy who use to be on a dating site. He's messaging others and his interest appears elsewhere. Probably just doing enough to keep you on his hook while he tries to reel in a bigger fish. I always asked questions if I was really interested on someone. Stop initiating. There should be mutual interest on both slides. If I'm asking questions and the other person isn't, I'm not wasting any more time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Iseult Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 He messaged me first but now somehow i'm finding myself asking all the questions. I don't understand. What kind of questions are you asking and why do you feel the need to continue? Are you conducting an interview? Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 Thanks for the reply :-) He said "Hi ...., hope you're having a good week so far" He's just wasting your time. I'd move on from someone whose disinterest is so obvious. If he had any interest, he'd ask you how your week was going, among other questions geared towards getting to know you better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 Something like... "Do you like your job?? " That's a yes/no answer. "Why do you like where you work" will elicit more than yes/no. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoverOfDance Posted February 14, 2018 Author Share Posted February 14, 2018 Thanks for the replies guys. This is OLD so I take everything with a grain of salt (especially on Tinder). I asked him if he was traveling and he said: "just Hawaii last week, this week relaxing". I didn't reply. I don't want to talk to someone who doesn't seem to be trying much. I have a casual "friend" who asks me many more questions, messages me three times in a row when I don't reply and shows way more interest - granted he's only concerned with sex, lol. Still though, I don't want to talk to someone who could really care less about the conversation. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 Responding and interacting are two different things. He isn't interacting so block/delete. It's a no brainer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 Like the others already said, he's wasting your time. I was talking to a girl like that on Tinder. I was asking all the questions and only sometimes she would throw in a "you?", after one of her short replies. This lasted about a month till one day she just deleted the match. (Tinder) I could already tell early on by her lack of effort that she probably wasn't that interested, so it didn't bother me much. I would just move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted February 14, 2018 Share Posted February 14, 2018 That's a yes/no answer. "Why do you like where you work" will elicit more than yes/no. You truncated my quote, the second part of the text was "I really like mine". My idea being he would ask her about her job and hopefully get more of a conversation rolling... Your question implies that the person already likes their job, which we have not established to be true. Link to post Share on other sites
Quagmire243 Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 I get this as well when I message women. I rarely get a response to my initial email, but when I do, I'll say a bit about myself and ask her a question. If after a couple messages she doesn't ask me anything, I send a message not asking her a question. Every time I never receive a response so I just assume she really wasn't interested and just move on. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 I asked him if he was traveling and he said: "just Hawaii last week, this week relaxing". His name isn't Bernard by any chance? Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 (edited) You truncated my quote, the second part of the text was "I really like mine". That's a statement. With a guy who's willing to arse himself, it may elicit interest, but not this guy. The response to that, with this particular guy more than likely keeping it to himself: "that's nice" or "good for you" The question is still a yes/no. Edited February 15, 2018 by kendahke Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted February 15, 2018 Share Posted February 15, 2018 Hi guys, so I need some guidance if anyone can offer some. I'm talking to this guy online. He messaged me first but now somehow i'm finding myself asking all the questions. I don't understand This guy is already demonstrating he has poor social skills and judgment. Why isn't he asking me any questions even though he messaged first? General incompetence. What is that about? Fellas, how do you think I should handle this? Forget about him and move onto someone who can hold a decent conversation. You'll thank yourself later. I'm not quite sure why you haven't ignored the guy already. Link to post Share on other sites
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