Jump to content

finally...First Kiss at 29..now what?


random_asiandude

Recommended Posts

random_asiandude

I met this girl on an online dating app. We've gone out a few times, i like her and we enjoy each other's company. during the third date we ended up at the store and as we were walking around chatting and hit the pharmacy aisle she puts condoms in the cart. The issue is that i don't have much dating experience. I've gone on dates here and there but nothing ever serious + its never gotten the point that ive kissed anyone @ 29. I'm always overthinking things and quite shy/inhibited when it comes to girls. it took me a while to get over awkward hugs. so that date ended awkwardly with me making an excuse to go home.

 

we went out again, and the date went well and i ended up kissing her at the end of the night. I was amazed I finally overcame this barrier after all this time. She texts me after getting home saying she was surprised i kissed her but was glad i cleared up my intentions and she liked me too... so there's that. she also asked me what took so long do it, but i kind of dodged the question.

 

but now idk how much i should open up about my lack of experience in terms of dating, sex etc. clearly this is leading toward one direction and im enjoying really dating for the first time but i'm not sure how to approach it. not sure how much she can figure out and idk if i should just be upfront 100% about my lack of experience or i just play it cool. if you're a woman what would you prefer? and would it turn you off if a guy you're dating confesses his lack of experiencing at almost age 30?

Link to post
Share on other sites

She's already figured out that you're inexperienced and she's OK with it. Stop worrying and keep moving forward.

  • Like 12
Link to post
Share on other sites

Do not make some sort of announcement / confession.

 

Just continue to date her. Your awkwardness tells her everything she needs to know without putting words around it. Talking will make things worse not better.

 

Go with the flow. Try not to overthink everything.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

You don't need to make full confessions. Tell her you don't have much experience if you want to and leave it at that.

 

I was about your age (27) when I had my 1st kiss and didn't tell him. 3-4 days later we had our first sex and I also didn't tell him initially :D It was just fine, and I never had issues in that department. Catching up socially is much much harder than catching up sexually, the latter is just instinct.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

What were the condoms for? Oh, let me rephrase that. Did she think you'd be using those or is there another guy in the picture? Or were they on sale...?

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
What were the condoms for? Oh, let me rephrase that. Did she think you'd be using those or is there another guy in the picture? Or were they on sale...?

 

That would be pretty damn crass to buy condoms with a guy she was dating... To use with another guy.

 

I think it's pretty clear she was sending him a message (do condoms go on sale?)

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites

Eh I think you should just have sex with her at this point without saying anything. She obviously likes you, women are very good at reading people and she likely knows you are inexperienced...

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Cookiesandough

She bought condoms and then what???Did she give them to you and say let's use these later? Did she take them home with her to use with some other dude? The most pertinent part of the story...never to be heard about again...

Edited by Cookiesandough
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

My god so the lady bought condoms...maybe that was her hint to him that she's interested and getting ready. good god give the poor guy a break here. He only has one question....would it turn you off if a guy came right out and confessed he has no experience...that's it.

 

OP I would be turned off. It's better to show off your new confidence instead.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

The condoms were a pretty clear unspoken message that she would be down for... whatever.

 

I hope things continue to progress for you. Have fun!

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
you don't have to tell her anything, she'll figure it out on her own

 

:lmao:

 

Hum. I think it depends on the woman.

 

I am a confident type who doesn't mind being a leader - in the bedroom at least. And I have taken two guy's V Cards, and I am glad I knew before hand.

 

With that info I was more patient and reassuring. Was able to be more of a guide and set my expectations.

 

Basically the info allowed me to set the stage so that it was a good experience for both of us.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

This woman's intentions could not have been more clear when she threw some condoms into the cart. You did not even say anything, then skipped out early that night? It's time for you to man up and get naked, before she finds another partner. :)

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease

Clearly, she liked the way you kissed her and if she'd thought it was your first kiss she would've known why it took so long and wouldn't have asked. Sounds as if you pulled the kiss off just fine! No need to tell her of your inexperience.

 

Though you're shy, you just might be a natural!

 

Just because it's your first time doesn't mean she'll know. Sounds as if you may be pretty intuitive and sensitive so just do what comes naturally, everybody's different anyway, she may never know. If she asks, though, don't lie. Just tell her it is and you're glad it was with her!

 

No biggie here. All this stuff about experience to me is a bunch of hooey! I couldn't care less about being intimate with a professional. In fact, that would be turn off for me. What means the most to me is being with someone who is enjoying the experience and for whom it's meaningful!

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Daisy-oliviaWentcher

I think you're pretty lucky actually. Like many people on this thread, I agree she most definitely would have worked it out that you're inexperienced and she is not judging you for it. Hence why, she's making more of the moves, for example, blatantly putting condoms in the grocery cart. Let things happen naturally, but don't be afraid to tell her that you like her. If if comes up in conversation that your sexually inexperienced ,just own it. I think at this stage she just wants to know if your into her. She may have to lead you a bit at first but once you get the swing of things and learn to trust her, don't be afraid to open up and take over the reigns so to speak.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow first kiss at 29? That’s a first for me.

 

I wouldn’t own up to that at all. Dont talk about your lack of experience. Just go with the flow and see what happens.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Daisy-oliviaWentcher
Wow first kiss at 29? That’s a first for me.

 

I wouldn’t own up to that at all. Dont talk about your lack of experience. Just go with the flow and see what happens.

 

He shouldnt have to feel ashamed like he has something to hide. Relationships are built on trust and truth. If I was with someone who didn't tell me i was their first kiss until well into the relationship, id be pretty upset that person wasn't open and honest with me. He shouldn't feel like he has something to hide or ashamed of who he is or what he has or hasn't done.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
random_asiandude

Thanks for the replies.

This was what I was afraid of. Everyone seems to have a vastly different opinion. I feel that honesty and truth is the basis of any relationship, but at the same time society dictates that the guy should be the more “experienced” when it comes to these things which puts really late bloomers like myself kind of in a pickle when something finally happens. Even if it happens in my late 20s..though I personally know people my age that still have not had a first kiss etc.

 

 

Sure there’s no set Age to have a first anything but at the same time there’s an expectation in society that is set.

 

So still don’t really have an answer what to do. Guess I’ll just wing it and see. Trying not to let my methodical thinking get the best of me and enjoy the experience.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

"Wing it and see" is the rule that most of us use when living our lives. Sometimes we win, sometimes we don't....but we always come out wiser.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Wow first kiss at 29? That’s a first for me.

 

I wouldn’t own up to that at all. Dont talk about your lack of experience. Just go with the flow and see what happens.

 

I think he should own up to the lack of experience, its not fair on the girl in question. Wouldn't you want to know about someone you're dating if they had no experience?

Link to post
Share on other sites

This girl KNOWS he is inexperienced and she's having fun with it. I say let it happen when it happens. I bet money on it she will simple ask, and telling her then will be OK.

 

If it was a game changer for her she would have ran already. Go with the flow and if the opportunity presents itself, the say something, but for now, it's not necessary because she like him. And when you like someone enough to have sex with them, it won't matter.

 

I'm experienced and ya I have taken a V card or two...I didn't have to be told, I knew, and it's was OK we worked with it. It all comes naturally (pardon the pun).

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...