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Everything he says is Perfect - Am I being played?


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Old 8th February 2018, 12:39 PM   #16
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Even without all of the reverse 50 shades stuff, I would never trust a good looking, successful man that prefers to date a woman that is a plane ride away when there are plenty of options at home.
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Old 8th February 2018, 12:55 PM   #17
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How old is he? And are you SURE he isn't married?
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Old 8th February 2018, 1:14 PM   #18
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k but how is you slo mo walking to music around a Bentley supposed to help OP know if her guy is a player.

Though it is pretty obvious enough he is
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Old 8th February 2018, 2:30 PM   #19
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It does seem too good to be true. Since he's in your field, start asking around to see if you can connect to him academically. I have tried to verify that people are in my field; most times it's true but every once is while I'd poser.

Assuming he's legitimate, can you hold your emotions in check?

If so, date him but don't give your heart away or give him money. Use this two years to keep the breaks on. If he can't do that he may not be all that well balanced.
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Old 8th February 2018, 3:15 PM   #20
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I think if you have to resort to doing background checks and and verifying someone's job you should really just move on.
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Old 8th February 2018, 3:42 PM   #21
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If its a scam he must expect one helluva return just based on the investment already made. I say not a scam unless this thread is a scam.

That begs the question why go to such great lengths? He has other easier comparable options, right?

My first thought was married. Nobody but a married guy looking for some strange would go to this length.

Unless smackie is right and the guy is living a fantasy and decided to make her part of it.

I say do a background check to make sure he isn't married.

Then be careful and go ahead and play the game to see where it is headed.

I don't see long term potential here but it could be fun for awhile.
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Old 8th February 2018, 5:32 PM   #22
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next step is a background check. This usually only costs about 40 bucks. It's worth the investment.

I have a question. Have you met his friends? or any of his family? Have you been to his place?

If you are worried about criminal activity or motivation, make sure you document and send any info to friends, activity in real time with him...and make sure he knows that you are doing it.

IMO he has a fantasy and you just hit the lottery.

I get it,it makes you feel uncomfortable, and question whether there is an obligation of some kind coming....but if you like him and this is how he would like you to be, damn I would be all over that. Take me to Rodeo Drive for some shopping please!
i haven't met his friends yet but he wants me to. Heres another kinda weird thing - we have one mutual friend who lives in his city that i used to fool around with. we never dated, it was purely physical. i don't think hes good friends with him but i know he was in his graduating class. i don't think that should matter and im hopeful if i met his friends he wouldn't be there, but it does worry me a bit. we have no other mutual friends i know of.

he is supposed to come to my friends wedding in july as my date (the friend he met when we went skiing). I was then gonna visit him after that and see his place etc.

Background check unnecessary - he is an assistant prof at his university where he works as said health professional, which i know is legit. Also, he is in his early 30s.
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Old 8th February 2018, 5:33 PM   #23
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How old is he? And are you SURE he isn't married?

early 30s, he's definitely not married.
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Old 8th February 2018, 5:35 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by olivetree View Post
Even without all of the reverse 50 shades stuff, I would never trust a good looking, successful man that prefers to date a woman that is a plane ride away when there are plenty of options at home.
agreed, its so bizarre. when i question him about it, even yesterday he said something about wanting to wait a bit for the right person (apparently me, and that waiting is 2+ years on other side of world with no guarantee of immediate return) rather than look for something that isn't right at home. but that to me seems like a cop out and is suspicious.
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Old 8th February 2018, 5:38 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by smackie9 View Post

IMO he has a fantasy and you just hit the lottery.

I get it,it makes you feel uncomfortable, and question whether there is an obligation of some kind coming....but if you like him and this is how he would like you to be, damn I would be all over that. Take me to Rodeo Drive for some shopping please!
haha yea i have thought about it, but then my conscience kicks in and says no you are better then this. but if i he likes it, why not? lol.
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Old 8th February 2018, 5:42 PM   #26
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k but how is you slo mo walking to music around a Bentley supposed to help OP know if her guy is a player.

Though it is pretty obvious enough he is
i thought he was a player but something about it still makes me think hes not. i don't know. he sits at home and plays video games with his friends a lot. hes social but doesnt seem to have time to date bc he works so much. we talk quite often. on paper he is a player but i'm still not sure. also why would he spend $2k to see me for 3 weeks if he has all sorts of sides pieces at home. and want to share his calendar and 'find my friend' on phone. to me it doesn't add up. but at same time all this stuff is super extreme. i dunno.
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Old 8th February 2018, 5:44 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by d0nnivain View Post
It does seem too good to be true. Since he's in your field, start asking around to see if you can connect to him academically. I have tried to verify that people are in my field; most times it's true but every once is while I'd poser.

Assuming he's legitimate, can you hold your emotions in check?

If so, date him but don't give your heart away or give him money. Use this two years to keep the breaks on. If he can't do that he may not be all that well balanced.
ive definitely confirmed who he is academically online. he is an assistant prof as well. its all there.

i definitely have no $ to give him as im a student atm, i am being partially supported by family however. in saying this, he seems to want to give me the world financially, even though he probably knows i don't really need it. but the way he offers it is just so weird (wanting to give me his credit info, wanting to pick up shifts to give me $ to spend on myself, etc). all of this is talk, but then again he did buy the flowers on a complete whim yesterday for v day. i didn't feel too guilty about asking for those however.

Last edited by paloma22; 8th February 2018 at 5:47 PM..
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Old 8th February 2018, 5:47 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by paloma22 View Post
i thought he was a player but something about it still makes me think hes not. i don't know. he sits at home and plays video games with his friends a lot. hes social but doesnt seem to have time to date bc he works so much. we talk quite often. on paper he is a player but i'm still not sure. also why would he spend $2k to see me for 3 weeks if he has all sorts of sides pieces at home. and want to share his calendar and 'find my friend' on phone. to me it doesn't add up. but at same time all this stuff is super extreme. i dunno.
He might just be awkward or not good at dating. He might be trying to buy your affection with money.
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Old 8th February 2018, 5:57 PM   #29
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Tell him he needs to slow down and he’s moving too fast for you.

Guys don’t pick up hints.

This reminds me of an episode on Millionaire Matchmaker about some guy who went on a first date and was completely smitten by her, so smitten that he proposed marriage to her on that very date; I think it was during a helicopter ride. They were consumed by their emotions so naturally she slept with him. A few days later guy got cold feet and called it off. She was hurt, of course and he was gone. It was too much too soon.

I would be careful with this guy. He doesn’t seem to have any self control whatsoever.

Let me tell you something else about us guys, he could have multiple masters and doctorates and still be a complete idiot when it comes to women. Those are facts.

Last edited by Interstellar; 8th February 2018 at 6:01 PM..
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Old 8th February 2018, 6:03 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paloma22 View Post
i thought he was a player but something about it still makes me think hes not. i don't know. he sits at home and plays video games with his friends a lot. hes social but doesnt seem to have time to date bc he works so much. we talk quite often. on paper he is a player but i'm still not sure. also why would he spend $2k to see me for 3 weeks if he has all sorts of sides pieces at home. and want to share his calendar and 'find my friend' on phone. to me it doesn't add up. but at same time all this stuff is super extreme. i dunno.
Some guys actually like to spend money on chicks. Idk know why. They like to
"Take you shopping" and stuff like that. They get off on it or something.


It might not be about that though. It might just be it's easier for him to get chicks to fall for him that way. I might do it too if I were a guy. The fact he is lovebombing then going silent is telling me he is a player. If you feel something is off about it and have to ask if you're getting played you usually are.

I'd also find someone who lives closer next time

Last edited by Cookiesandough; 8th February 2018 at 6:10 PM..
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