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Meeting someone before you leave a relationship


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Old 7th February 2018, 9:45 PM   #1
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Meeting someone before you leave a relationship

Wow I didn't think I would be posting here again!
I didn't wanna be that guy ever, I've been single the last 3 years, my choice cos I'm a prize haha. I totally hit it off with a girl. She was in relationship at the time but wasn't happy, she was a client of mine, I didn't pursue her but there was clearly chemistry, the kind that bubbles over the top. I don't know what happened but we totally Connected and opened up to each other. It was magic!.
Long story short -
She left her relationship 5 months later, and I said to take some time to herself. She didn't. 2-3 weeks after breaking up with him, things are "suddenly moving too fast" between us for her and she needs space. I'm honouring that with NC cos it's the right thing. Day 4 of NC for me if she wants me she will bang my door down I know. But my heads doing somersaults this evening lol

Anyone been in a similar situation?
And no it wasn't a rebound or an exit tactic for her last relationship, and Please don't hate on me hahaha
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Last edited by Soul Bear; 7th February 2018 at 9:46 PM.. Reason: Grammar
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Old 7th February 2018, 10:05 PM   #2
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Sometimes when I shopping for groceries and I'm hungry, everything looks like like food but I really have no idea what I really want. When this happens my shopping cart is filled with thing I really don't need.
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Old 7th February 2018, 10:12 PM   #3
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Did you take magic mushrooms before you came on here
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Old 7th February 2018, 10:19 PM   #4
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Ha! Maybe...Maybe not.

It's an analogy.

A women bouncing in and out relationships is likely wanting something but has no idea what.
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Old 7th February 2018, 10:28 PM   #5
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I know I just took a stab at keeping some humour in the dating section haha!
She wasn't really bouncing around, she's not the type ... She was in a relationship. Just what We have is like fireworks. Plus I'm an upgrade over the ex too, but she freaked put saying she didn't know what she wanted...****..your analogy is correct! So she basically tipped the trolly over and walked out the store?
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Old 7th February 2018, 10:32 PM   #6
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As you seem to be aware, 2-3 weeks after a breakup is way too early for dating someone new. It's asking for trouble.

I think your best course of action is to give her 5 - 6 months. Maintain a friendship if it's possible (for both of you) to do that without getting messy. Otherwise stay low contact and then see what happens when she's moved on and is ready to date seriously again.

Also, you're in the UK and posting at 2:30am like me. Go to bed!
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Old 7th February 2018, 10:51 PM   #7
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Thays what I needed. Some bloody sense talked into me haha.
It is too soon. I know :/ just had to hear it from someoen else lol
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Old 7th February 2018, 10:57 PM   #8
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welcome back! Was she the dumper? I was the dumper all 3 times with my ex, yet I still remained stuck on him. A lot of times people are forced to dump people even though we love them. So feelings remain. If it's ever to work she needs time
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Old 7th February 2018, 11:07 PM   #9
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Thank you! Haha
She was the dumper.. But she is done with him. I know that. She fell kind of hard for me (which may have accelerated her breakup) and I ended up eventually letting my guard down and fell for her. She said she's needs time to process everything which I can understand, it just suxks as I had taken my bastard mask off and let her in where I'm vulnerable! Time I know. It's just hard doing NC again After all these years! Least I know what to do tho lol loveshack.org is great for teaching you skills and mental faculty
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Old 7th February 2018, 11:32 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cookiesandough View Post
welcome back! Was she the dumper? I was the dumper all 3 times with my ex, yet I still remained stuck on him. A lot of times people are forced to dump people even though we love them. So feelings remain. If it's ever to work she needs time
The thing is dumper/dumpee lines are often blurred. E.g. there is the forced dump where the ‘dumpee’ makes the existence of their partner miserable and technically causes the break up, although the ‘dumper’ is serving the news.
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Old 8th February 2018, 1:35 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soul Bear View Post

Anyone been in a similar situation?
And no it wasn't a rebound or an exit tactic for her last relationship, and Please don't hate on me hahaha
No hate!

But what makes you think you were not the rebound / exit tactic? Everything indicates you were.

People don't usually plan a "rebound" (at least I hope they don't! They just happen)
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Old 8th February 2018, 10:39 AM   #12
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Is a rebound not someone who you get with after you exit a relationship? This all happened before she left. I was the catalyst.
I'm make light of it but honestly, I'm struggling. I don't know and I'm finding NC pretty hard. Haven't even logged on facebook messenger for 4 days. I thought I was being smart but I'm questioning myself today
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Old 8th February 2018, 11:35 AM   #13
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No hate, but truth---this is a rebound because she's still confused, which is the tell tale sign of someone who is not emotionally done with someone else, but is keeping connection to them just in case they open that can of "act right".

It's just too soon for her because she cannot disconnect from her memories with the ex when you do something that reminds her. If she was done, it'd be indifference, not confusion.
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Old 8th February 2018, 11:39 AM   #14
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Sigh.... I think you're right... Either that or she wants to play the field. Either way, massive kick in the balls lol
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Old 8th February 2018, 11:48 AM   #15
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Sigh.... I think you're right... Either that or she wants to play the field. Either way, massive kick in the balls lol
Her loss, right?

There are other lassies out there who are free and clear and not confused.
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