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Escalation


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Old 7th February 2018, 12:16 AM   #16
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Are you positive this guy is separated? I mean, his wife is on board with this separation too, right?
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Old 7th February 2018, 12:48 AM   #17
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How do you guys find so much to talk about
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Old 7th February 2018, 7:12 AM   #18
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Are you positive this guy is separated? I mean, his wife is on board with this separation too, right?
Yes, because he volunteered information where he lives and where to find her.

For my peace of mind Iíll probably need to talk with her but havenít figured out a good way yet. Well, I may have a sneaky way to do it actually , a bit of spy work but it will be for good purpose.
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Old 7th February 2018, 7:14 AM   #19
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How do you guys find so much to talk about
Weíre old people Cookies - lots of experiences to share . And we also have lots of common hobbies, interests and acquaintances.
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Old 7th February 2018, 7:26 AM   #20
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Sounds like it's already starting to heat up a bit

Do you want him to escalate physically? Then you have to give him the green light. I think he has been getting mixed messages from you and doesn't quite know what to think. Your own confusion is showing through. And good for him for handling things as respectfully as he has.

If you want things to get more physical, dinner is where you give him the green light. Hold hands with him. It's ok to initiate that. It gives him the green light but doesn't say, hey lets have sex. It says, hey I like you and not just as a friend. You don't even have to say a word. The ball is then in his court.
Yeah I think my own confusion is showing ... I do want him to escalate physically (woah, had pretty vivid dreams about it ) but Iím quite scared in the same time. Iíll try the hand holding, youíre right it is not directly a Ďhave sexí sign though I had men take it this way in the past .... Here the way he approached everything makes me have a lot more trust in him, so to me it makes sense now to go for small physical contact like hand holding.

Iím so glad he didnít push physical stuff early on though. When I had guys do this in the past, Iíd usually go with the flow, but then emotional disconnect would happen between us. I mean skipping phases for me always ended badly (last bf pushed for sex very early on - so Iíd always see sex with him as purely physical thing in the entire 2 years of being together; pushed for meeting the family early on - so for me it lost significance as a step etc)
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Old 7th February 2018, 11:14 AM   #21
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how do you guys find so much to talk about
chemistryyyyyy
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Old 7th February 2018, 12:05 PM   #22
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How do you guys find so much to talk about
All it really takes is a reasonably broad interest in the world general and people in particular. If you read the newspaper and treat every person as something new and interesting to discover there should be plenty to talk about. Most people also have their favorite topics. If you know just enough to ask the right questions they will be happy to tell you about their little niche of expertise.

It can be quite surprising what they like to talk about. I remember running into a rather attractive woman on local train a few years ago, and within a few minutes we were talking about the pros and cons of privatizing public infrastructure, something she seemed to be rather passionate about.
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Old 7th February 2018, 2:13 PM   #23
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When is that dinner so I set myself a alarm
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Old 7th February 2018, 2:22 PM   #24
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When is that dinner so I set myself a alarm
Friday ...
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Old 7th February 2018, 3:14 PM   #25
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The bet is cute. Have lots of fun!!

You really want to be careful with the "separation" thing though. Sometimes people "separate" but remain married indefinitely regardless.
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Old 7th February 2018, 9:37 PM   #26
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Yeas, agreed, I'll handle this very lightly and I won't put my hopes up before clearing the waters. No 'serious' conversations, no interrogations, I'll be open and friendly and let him open up if he wants to. Otherwise I'll just enjoy the night, so it is a win win.

However, I'd be wearing bodycon dress, stilettos, red lips, cat eye- so although part of a funny bet it can pass as too provocative? The thing that works in my favor is that I'm usually dressed up on a daily basis so it's not like there will be shocking difference besides the heel height and bright colors... If I go a bit more understated the fun side will be lost because it will blend with my daily wear.

Also - the situation is such that we possibly will not be working together for too long, actually if I accept a given opportunity we may be parting ways as coworkers much much sooner than I thought! This is good on one side and on the other side is giving me massive anxiety that with ceasing the constant contact and getting super busy, things may fizzle, especially if the ambiguity continues. It is such a trap, I can't rush, I can't delay either...
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Old 7th February 2018, 11:10 PM   #27
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I've recently been through something similar and I was so so anxious I turned the guy down 3-4 times before agreeing to go out. Then after I did agree it was in day time um super extended break, and again I was so nervous I slipped things and couldn't look up when he'll compliment me.

So if he'll judge level of interest at that time - he'd have to say impasse. Thank god he didn't. After a little over a week he asked me to do something together again and because it was again day time low key, the anxiety calmed down. Afterwards we moved it to weekend times, and I start developing massive crush. It has been almost two months and I'm near praying for physical stuff, I'm getting so ready for it. But we are now very comfortable with each other.
No_Go!!! Just why?!?!!?

Bodycon dress and stilettos, plz pull through
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Old 7th February 2018, 11:17 PM   #28
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No_Go!!! Just why?!?!!?

Bodycon dress and stilettos, plz pull through
Anxiety Cookies I think he deserves someone more normal or me acting normally, so I should
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Old 8th February 2018, 3:58 AM   #29
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Yeas, agreed, I'll handle this very lightly and I won't put my hopes up before clearing the waters. No 'serious' conversations, no interrogations, I'll be open and friendly and let him open up if he wants to. Otherwise I'll just enjoy the night, so it is a win win.

However, I'd be wearing bodycon dress, stilettos, red lips, cat eye- so although part of a funny bet it can pass as too provocative? The thing that works in my favor is that I'm usually dressed up on a daily basis so it's not like there will be shocking difference besides the heel height and bright colors... If I go a bit more understated the fun side will be lost because it will blend with my daily wear.
Just to clarify... you're wearing all that to just the DINNER, right, not to work? While there's plenty of fun erotica out there about women losing bets and having to wear stuff like that to work (could've sworn I've written one of those, too! ), it's really NOT a good idea in real life!
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Old 8th February 2018, 7:21 AM   #30
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Just to clarify... you're wearing all that to just the DINNER, right, not to work? While there's plenty of fun erotica out there about women losing bets and having to wear stuff like that to work (could've sworn I've written one of those, too! ), it's really NOT a good idea in real life!
Haha of course Iíll look normal during the day and make the tweaks (remove blazer, change shoes, amp up make up etc) only for the night. I can easily add up stuff in my car, there is not even a neeed to run home And yet Iím thinking it maybe too much... because of the desire for very slow unforced development.
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