SweetVixen07 Posted June 19, 2005 Share Posted June 19, 2005 My boyfriend and I have been dating just a few weeks...but we've been friends for about two years. We realized the day of our high school graduation that we should have been together all along. He's a great guy and someone I enjoy being around. One reason why we never "hooked up" was because he had a girlfriend. He and his girlfriend were together as long as we were friends. Well before he dated me he broke up with her...they were experiencing relationship difficulties for the last few months, but really didn't manifest itself into a break up until a few weeks ago. Anyway though my boyfriend's ex goes to the same church and has the same mutual friends. He wants to take me to church in a few weeks, so I can meet all his friends, which are aware of his new relationship with me. We were speaking on the phone earlier when he told me that he wanted to make sure that he let his ex know about me. Now mind you, he and his ex haven't talked since the breakup. I asked him why he was going to let her know about me...he said that it was because he didn't want to have it "blow up" in his face. I became a little offended by the fact that he was going to let her know since the breakup has already taken place, therefore there should "zero ties" to the relationship. He said he wants to be a nice guy about it...instead of just bringing me to church and making her aware that he's in another relationship. In a way I feel like he's trying to seek her approval of our relationship. I told him that it would feel like he's rubbing it in her face. He failed to realize that regardless of how you approach the situation whether he tells her or not...she's going to be upset. I tried to tell him the way I would feel if I was in that situation...I told him point blank, I would be PISSED...if my ex came up to me and told me he was bringing his new girlfriend to church...I mean I would give him that "I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S BUTT" look...I just picture how awkward that's going to look. So I came to the solution that maybe I shouldn't go...because it will stir bad feelings...and I don't wanna be placed in that situation...especially when I didn't create it. One of the other things is his ex-girlfriend's dad is the pastor of their church...so not only will me presence stir up ill feelings with her father but her mother and sisters as well. I'm just wondering am I wrong for being against this whole situation...or should I just oblige and go with the flow. I would like to hear a few responses....Thank you very much. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted June 19, 2005 Share Posted June 19, 2005 There is nothing wrong with caring about the feelings of an ex. It shows some consideration, and concern. You'd rather not have him being a complete ass about her, as his ways towards his ex would also be the same ways he'd use with you. Not likeable. Give him credit for wanting to do things in a decent fashion. She will find out one way or the other that he has a new gf. Why not tell her honestly, so as to keep the thing under his and your control? If one friend of him bad-mouths you in her presence, you'd be setting yourself up for all sorts of drama. You don't want that. He and his ex have only broken up recently, so she might entertain some hope that she and he might be a couple in the near future. The surest way, to make an attempt at banishing that notion, is by introducing her to you. Of course this might hurt her, but again, every other way might hurt her. I would go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SweetVixen07 Posted June 20, 2005 Author Share Posted June 20, 2005 Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
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