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I find this odd


mortensorchid

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mortensorchid

Weeks ago I was doing some OLD and had met three guys. Long story short, over time I read some language which I had encountered throughout my history and realized that they were falling into behaviors / language patterns which I recognized and decided we/they were not up to speed. I threw the three fish back in the ocean.

 

This past week I get a text from one of them (the most desirable of the three). He's divorced, three kids from his first marriage who are all teenager and live in Florida. We were texting for a bit and then he just went poof and, like anything else, figured "that's that" and moved on. Then yesterday I get a text from a number I don't recognize and he said "Hi it's Dave from (website) I changed my phone number." I responded. He said he was in Nashville, TN visiting his mother and his family there last week. I asked if he had returned yet. He said he was tired of the phone calls from bill collectors, he had credit card debt. I said I was sorry to hear that. He said he is still in TN, I asked when he will be back. He said he can't come back until he earned enough money TO come back. I asked what that meant. He said he was working a plumbing job that weekend and would probably have enough to return once he was done with that weekend job.

 

I think that sounds shady, if not shady certainly odd. That very well may be the case but why would you reach out to a woman you're hoping to date from a website and tell them something like that? Did he want me to send him the money? Rest assured I won't do so. I think I was right to throw him back. I will not reach out again.

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This guy is not only financially irresponsible - he has horrible boundaries, sharing waaaayyyyy too much, and seems socially inept as well. I mean, any "normal" guy who was struggling would probably do so quietly, and be loathe to draw attention to the fact, probably keeping it to himself unless he absolutely had to share the fact with a prospective mate. On top of that, this guy is not in a position to be dating.

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For a start his divorce with kids and ex has probably been cleaning him out for years so he might not be the loser you all think.

A lotta guys are left living in God knows what after divorce for a long time.

l don't think he was fishing though , pobably just a bit too open or maybe he feels comfortable enough with you to talk about that stuff , some women have that effect on you and it's a nice thing don't worry.

 

But even if that is the sitch you probably don't wanna start up anything with someone that isn't on their feet anyway soooo !

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CautiouslyOptimistic
This guy is not only financially irresponsible - he has horrible boundaries, sharing waaaayyyyy too much, and seems socially inept as well. I mean, any "normal" guy who was struggling would probably do so quietly, and be loathe to draw attention to the fact, probably keeping it to himself unless he absolutely had to share the fact with a prospective mate. On top of that, this guy is not in a position to be dating.

 

Agree! Whether he's fake and hoping to get money or this truly is his situation right now, bad news all around.

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So... he is broke.

 

Actually, worse than that... he is in debt and he has collection agencies chasing him.

 

He's not coming back to town because... he can't come back to town.

 

Why he is calling you? I have no idea. He either doesn't have the good sense to know that he shouldn't be dating right now or he is looking for someone to bail him out. Either way, glad you are going to let him go... you don't need to get mixed up in that!

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What's the language? Obviously this guy is not dating material, but beyond being broke, what kind of language have you encountered that sets off the Spidey senses? Or is it more description of life, circumstances, like in the past you encountered someone who was broke and trying to use you?

 

This guy, I'm surprised he would say anything at all about his finances to a potential girlfriend/date, but maybe he was hoping you'd finance him. You don't know that he's in TN even, but just wants a few hundred bucks.

 

Too bad. He seemed like the good one.

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mortensorchid
What's the language? Obviously this guy is not dating material, but beyond being broke, what kind of language have you encountered that sets off the Spidey senses? Or is it more description of life, circumstances, like in the past you encountered someone who was broke and trying to use you?

 

This guy, I'm surprised he would say anything at all about his finances to a potential girlfriend/date, but maybe he was hoping you'd finance him. You don't know that he's in TN even, but just wants a few hundred bucks.

 

Too bad. He seemed like the good one.

 

The language tends to be this:

 

You meet on the website, exchange phone numbers, perhaps you are texting for a bit. You exchange basic factual information (what you do, where you live, etc.) and the texting may tapper off after about 3/4 days. This is the Tier 1.

 

If and when you are at the point when you meet face to face, the next day one party MAY send a text to the other. Remember the 48 Hour Rule : If you have not heard from him with 48 hours of the first encounter face to face, you will not hear from him again. If it's a text message, it's a lost cause. It could be something simple like "I had a nice time last night". The other person may respond with something non committal and polite like "Thanks I did as well". In this case, Tier 2, nothing will happen after those two text messages. About 75% of all encounters end this way. If the man is truly interested he will CALL the woman, which most do not.

 

Tier 3 is when the two parties will exchange text messages for a few days after their first face to face encounter, and then ... One party will not bother to respond to the other's last text and that will be that.

 

Of the three men in question which I have spoken of on this thread, #1 achieved Tier 3, #2 achieved Tier 1, and #3 has achieved Tier 1. Facts.

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Happy Lemming

I have a question... What if after you meet the first time, you attempt to set up another date and stop with the "back and forth" texting. This is not tennis or volleyball, once the ball is back in your court, set up a date, if he said he had a good time. Strike while the iron is hot!!

 

For example, call him up and say "Hey Joe, there is this great Greek Festival in town this weekend, How do you feel about meeting me at the entrance at about 1:00pm. We'll walk around, eat some great food, and take in some of the shows/displays??" or "Hey Joe, there is this art walk thingy in the plaza at noon on Saturday, let's walk around, then we can get some lunch??" If he says "Yes" maybe one more phone call and firm up the time and then no more "back and forth" until the date & time. If he "no shows" (which is something I would never do) then enjoy the Festival or Art Walk by yourself and delete "Joe" from your phone once and for all.

 

What do you think??

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Not if I can help it! I'm currently going through YouTube videos about fixing my own toilet.

Isn't youtube great? I fixed the washer at work and saved the company a $95 bill.

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The guy isn't broke, he is a scam artist. He developed a rapport with Mortensorchid and possibly others from the website, disappeared, reached out on a burner phone claiming he is in financial need without really coming out and saying it because he knows he can't receive legal action if the money is OFFERED, not asked for. So the responsibility falls on the payer, not the payee. Block/delete this loser biscuit!

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mortensorchid
I have a question... What if after you meet the first time, you attempt to set up another date and stop with the "back and forth" texting. This is not tennis or volleyball, once the ball is back in your court, set up a date, if he said he had a good time. Strike while the iron is hot!!

 

For example, call him up and say "Hey Joe, there is this great Greek Festival in town this weekend, How do you feel about meeting me at the entrance at about 1:00pm. We'll walk around, eat some great food, and take in some of the shows/displays??" or "Hey Joe, there is this art walk thingy in the plaza at noon on Saturday, let's walk around, then we can get some lunch??" If he says "Yes" maybe one more phone call and firm up the time and then no more "back and forth" until the date & time. If he "no shows" (which is something I would never do) then enjoy the Festival or Art Walk by yourself and delete "Joe" from your phone once and for all.

 

What do you think??

 

I tried that once or twice to strike while the iron was hot, as the woman on my part that is. One I decided to call and ask him out after our date, he said something distracted and turned me down. Another I asked via text and he said he was not interested in me romantically. ANd just recently, I went out on an internet date and we were texting back and forth afterward, he was away on a job in Michigan. I asked him how he was doing via text and if he was back, he said he had his daughter for the next few days and was very busy, I said "OK let me know". And that was a week ago and I haven't heard from him since. FAIL.

 

When the man doesn't ask the woman to see her again, he's not that interested. He is mildly enough to be a texting buddy but ... Not much other than that. It's what it is.

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Happy Lemming
I tried that once or twice to strike while the iron was hot, as the woman on my part that is. One I decided to call and ask him out after our date, he said something distracted and turned me down.

 

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" - Thomas H. Palmer

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mortensorchid
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" - Thomas H. Palmer

 

I have tried and tried and tried again. And NOTHING happens. It's what it is.

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Happy Lemming
I have tried and tried and tried again. And NOTHING happens. It's what it is.

 

Don't give up... happiness is around the corner and when you least expect it!!

 

Be proactive if you like a gentleman. Be positive, happy and fun!!

 

You can do it!

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