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Kissing a guy beard


kakoy

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So, I had a first date with this guy. I like him and would go out with him again. Problem is when he kissed me goodbye, it was really scratchy and it hurts. The lower part of inner mouth hurts where his hair poked is swollen and hurts. I also have sensitive skin and it’s red.

 

It’s only 1 date, so I can’t ask him to shave it. Maybe I shouldn’t go out with him again. Even if I tolerate it, it’s going to be a problem. Not sure what to do.

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Ask him to shave it because it hurts you. Men don't know or realize that their man-stubble hurts. Also, I noticed something. When I was married for years, I didn't love it but my skin got used to the stubble a bit without me noticing. Then I was manless for a long time and my skin went back to normal (sensitive). Then once I got with a man again my skin could barely tolerate his stubble again. My face and neck was red and raw for at least a month. It look like I had a sunburn. It took a month for me to get used to it again where it didn't look like rug-burn but stubble will always still be a little uncomfortable. Just less with time.

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I definitely understand sensitive skin, but I don't necessarily think you should totally write him off due to his beard just yet. Is his beard relatively well kept?

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Men don't realize the physical pain we have to go thru sometimes to be with them. lol

 

Sometimes it's easier not to hurt their feelings (they may take it personally) or avoid them.

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I would flinch a bit next time he kisses you. Rub your face and act like it's no big deal. Then if he looks surprised or asks just say "sorry but my skin is a bit sensitive." and see what happens.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

I have really sensitive skin that gets red even in a makeout session with a freshly shaven man. So maybe it's not just a beard issue unless it was recently trimmed and is sharp?

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todreaminblue

i would get a really bad rash from stubble....and i always said nah not going to date a man with a beard then i did date a man with a beard..not a zz top beard or anything..and the hair was soft...well kept short trimmed and neat....and didnt have food in it which was bonus....im still really not a fan of beards .....i like the clean shaven look....

 

personally fi i were you.... i would still date the guy and after having dated him a while he would see that his stubble gives me a rash and hurts me ...he would want to shave it off if he cared and he liked kissing me......lol ahem...:cool: i dont have to ask most guys to shave whom i date for a while...they figure it out themselves ...if i tell them hey nah cant kiss me now my skin needs to settle a bit...maybe next month..and i point out the grazing...next date....clean shaven and raring to smooch.........smilin.....deb......

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My husband used to have a big beard and it looked pretty awesome. However, he was the first guy I dated that had a beard and when we first made out, it was actually kinda nice because it was soft and well kept.

 

Then when we moved in together, I wondered out loud how he would like without a beard because I've never seen him without a beard - not counting pictures. So he shaved it, and maaaaan his face was soooo baby smooth and soft.

 

Unfortunately when his stubble grew - it was sooooo painful that I have yet been able to stand it and have been asking him to shave it whenever it gets too long.

 

He sometimes says he misses his beard but he likes making out with me more so he doesn't mind, hahaha.

 

Just be honest with him, no matter what the result of it may be.

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Sensitivity and hurting from guys' beards is definitely a thing. It's definitely not worth all the pain just to make out with a guy when there are plenty of guys out there that prefer the clean look.

 

It's only one date so I can only see this going two ways: you don't go for a second date, or you tell him your skin is sensitive and his beard is causing problems. Which will allow him to make the call whether to shave it for your sake or move on. Either way you deserve to enjoy making out with someone, not have it wear your face away.

 

I'm also assuming he's the kind of guy with a beard that's always coarse and scratchy. If it's just stubble he has, then it may grow out to be soft. But maybe not soft enough for your skin though.

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What's that other thread of the crazy reasons people on LS find to bail ?

Ahh , wouldn't you just go out for awhile first , he might end up the love of your life , given the ass after one date umm, for a beard.

 

lf ya really like him see him some more but just explain the beard sitch if you kiss.

lf ya keep seeing each other sooner or later he shaves it.

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heavenonearth

When i went on my first date with my boyfriend and we made out a few hours into our first date.... that three day stubble hurt my face soooo much.

It was then that i asked him to let it grow.

 

We are now 8 months into our relationship and man, that beard is long. Didn’t know a beard can grow so mighty in just 8 months.

 

Softer than anything i ever kissed before.

 

We always joke about it how it is “my beard” instead of his.

 

 

:) make him grow it.

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So Women are fussy about a guy having a beard?

 

I have a beard and wouldn't fancy going clean shaven for a girl but might have to

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What's that other thread of the crazy reasons people on LS find to bail ?

Ahh , wouldn't you just go out for awhile first , he might end up the love of your life , given the ass after one date umm, for a beard.

 

lf ya really like him see him some more but just explain the beard sitch if you kiss.

lf ya keep seeing each other sooner or later he shaves it.

 

Because they get upset because they don’t want to shave it and then they start telling you that you’re trying to control him and he’s not changing who he is for a woman and on and on with other insults....

 

It’s easier to just pass.

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Maybe I will explain that I have never kissed a guy with a beard and ask him to teach me? His birthday is coming up, I can get him beard oil ( per google, that is a thing). It’s too early to get him a present though but maybe that can be a hint.

 

I prefer clean shaven but after only 1 date, I can’t ask a guy to change anything for me. I don’t think he is attach to it. His older pictures are clean shaven...

 

Think I will go on a 2nd date and decide from there.

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So Women are fussy about a guy having a beard?

 

I have a beard and wouldn't fancy going clean shaven for a girl but might have to

 

Not so much as fussy about facial hair. It only matters when it hurts our skin during kisses! Guys care if we look good but a red rash from kissing you is not a good look. We can’t just use makeup to cover that up since it will further irritate it.

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Your skin will get used to it.

 

After the first makeout session with my ex (who didn't have a beard per se but the stubble, even if he skipped a day of shaving was deadly) I have had wounds on my face :D The skin on my chin was scraped and I guess out of all the irritation I got terrible cold sores (it is an infection that you carry but the virus gets provoked by external factors, out of experience).

 

After the first 3 weeks my skin probably got accustomed to it because I'd not see physical damage from there on :lmao:

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So Women are fussy about a guy having a beard?

 

I have a beard and wouldn't fancy going clean shaven for a girl but might have to

 

From my experience - I love the look of a nice well groomed beard, and making out with a man that has a beard is pretty fun.

 

It's when he shaves - and then the stubble starts to grow, that's when it becomes a problem for me. It hurts to make out with a stubbly face.

 

Except when I'm super turned on then... the stubbly face feels fun in other areas. Hahahaha.

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So Women are fussy about a guy having a beard?

 

I have a beard and wouldn't fancy going clean shaven for a girl but might have to

 

In my experience, a beard isn't the problem. It's the stubble with it's sandpaper properties which causes problems.

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So, I am seeing the guy again. Setup a date already. What is the consensus on buying him beard oil as a hint? Too insulting?

 

Or should I offer up my inexperience kissing a guy with facial hair? And see if he will ‘work’ with me so that I am not hurting...

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So, I am seeing the guy again. Setup a date already. What is the consensus on buying him beard oil as a hint? Too insulting?

 

Or should I offer up my inexperience kissing a guy with facial hair? And see if he will ‘work’ with me so that I am not hurting...

 

Sure buy it for him. I think it is HIGHLY unlikely that he'll catch any other hints you are trying to leave verbally. You're going to have to just say it outright or just not date him.

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So, I am seeing the guy again. Setup a date already. What is the consensus on buying him beard oil as a hint? Too insulting?

 

Or should I offer up my inexperience kissing a guy with facial hair? And see if he will ‘work’ with me so that I am not hurting...

 

I'd just tell him that you're not used to kissing a guy with facial hair. It's not a big deal, and it shouldn't be big deal for him.

 

I dunno how I feel about buying a the beard oil for him on your second date. I don't think it's a good idea getting anyone a gift of any sort on just the second date.

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No oil gift at this time. Maybe after you become a couple.

 

But do talk to him. He may be unaware.

 

Tell him you have sensitive skin and would like him to kiss you more gently to avoid chafing your skin.

 

Ironically I have only ever had this type of problem when I am clean shaven My 5 o'clock shadow becomes like sandpaper. One woman would ask me to shave again before hankypanky. So I'd have to shave twice a day with her if I wanted some. I would actually start to become aroused whenever I saw she left a razor out for me. Pavlov's dog!!

 

I condition my beard which I wear short when I have one and I apparently kiss very gently and sensually based on feedback. Never had a complaint when I actually had a beard.

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