Bf distant this week, anxiety?

[I'veseenbetterlol]

W/past dating experiences when the guy got distant, everything went downhill. We see each other on weekend due to conflicting schedules and everything seems good. He is working extra hours, which never stopped him before. This week he seems a bit delayed on answering texts, letting hours go by w/out texting, not texting when he is home etc. We have had phone calls, but some of my messages are read and go unanswered unless I message again. Plus I know he has been active. Funny thing is if I take awhile to respond he worries. What is going on?

[d0nnivain]

Relationships don't work on algorithms. Just because he called X times last week but takes more time to respond this week & only contacted you Y times does not by itself mean anything is wrong.

 

Stop projecting the worst. Enjoy what you do have & don't go looking for trouble.

[Gaeta]

Is he pouting because you decided to keep on going to your political group meeting? Did you have a debate, or disagreement before his behavior changed?

[ExpatInItaly]

Put into the context of your previous threads about your boyfriend and your relationship, it seems there are a lot of occasions in which you feel he's keeping you at arm's length.

 

Did you two settle his issue about you joining a political group? Do you still wonder if you're paying for his ex's mistakes, as you did on a thread last month?

 

Sure, he might just be busy and distracted this week. But when you couple this thread with your others, I have to say that you two have a peculiar dynamic and he could in fact be pulling away from you.

[Lamartine]

I haven't read your previous posts, so I may not have the complete context here.

 

However, based on this thread, I don't think there is any need to panic yet. Maybe he is just busy and exhausted. Sometimes I don't respond to texts--even when I like the person and want to respond--if I am feeling overwhelmed or tired. I know I won't be putting my best foot forward, so I might wait.

 

Could there be other issues going on in his life, like problems with health, family, or finances?

 

I would let this ride another week or so. During that week, I would pull back from him. If he is extremely busy, too many calls and texts will annoy him. If he is on the fence about the relationship, perceived neediness will only drive him further away. I would send one text today: "It seems like things are very hectic for you. I hope everything is okay, and please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you out." And then leave it at that.

 

If this distance persists for longer than another week or so, I think it's time to have a discussion with him about the state of the relationship, your needs, and how you can best continue together to the benefit of both people.

[rebeccamuller]

My boyfriend is the same way. At first it really freaked me out as well. But guys don’t think like girls. They don’t know that something as simple as answering a text message in a timely manor can make or break our day.

 

I’d say if he’s still putting in effort to speak to you, then you’re good. If a guy didn’t want to talk to you, he wouldn’t. Simple.

Guys really are not complicated at all. where us girls overthink, they don’t really think at all.

If he wasn’t interested he wouldn’t bother responding and he surely wouldn’t care if you responded or not.

[heavenonearth]

I have this also when my boyfriend is seemingly distant. I usually suck it up and wait it out until he reaches out. When i then voice my concern he usually reassures me and tells me he was busy. He often goes into detail of what he did in order for me to not need to leave anything up to my imagination.

 

Everybody is different. Men tend to not be glued to their text messages like women are. And some people just need to focus on work during the day. Believe it or not.