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Is there a chance to turn it around?


drakon12

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Hello everyone. First, I'm a 25 year old male and the girl I will mention in this thread is a few years younger than me. I met her at university, I always kinda had a thing for her. But this year we got close and I fell in love with her. It's funny because I know it probably wouldn't work since I had such experiences went bad before. But anyways, I fell in love with her and it was out of my control, so I decided to do my best. It was going really well or I thought so. We talked a lot, we connected, we were compatible in many aspects. I thought she liked me too, as a friend at worst. I didn't tell her how I felt because she implied that she wanted things to grow naturally, like being friends for years then deciding to be in a relationship, marrying, etcetera. But her close friends knew how I felt about her. So I followed that path of least resistance.

 

Things were going fine, then I gave her a little meaningful gift. For that day, things went better, she was like more into me and wanted to know more about me. But two days after that, I called her and she didn't respond. Neither she called me back anytime close. I've put an Insta-story with me and her ex (there were a couple more people too) and she DM'd me, asking about what this project was about. I got mad because I felt that she would use her ex to get my attention or to make me jealous and I didn't respond. Think about it, couple weeks passed with no contact and she hits me up with that kind of thing. The day later, she called me. I picked up the phone and I was pretty cold to her since she got on my nerves. She asked something about a lecture anyway, I didn't think it was to check me out. Then she sent me a couple of texts and I answered with a single sentence. Then she asked me if I was mad about her. I told her it was nothing and I was just busy. She said okay and we haven't talked her since. Even though we left it at that note, she'd check my stories on Instagram and liked my posts, but I went full ghost. She saw me once in the university with my friends, but didn't bother coming and saying hello -which is very unusual for a social butterfly like her-. IF she has feelings for me, how can I know it and how can I salvage this relationship? What should I do when I see her on the next term? I'm already seeing other girls if that's what you'd recommend, but I think a connection like we had with this girl is something else and if it's salvagable, I want to save it. Thanks in advance.

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I don't think she's interested. She started ignoring you as soon as you got too close. Checking an instagram story means nothing, people usually just check them all, out of habit....

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Cookiesandough

If there is any chance at all it would be getting a lot of women interested in you in front of her and ignoring her. I am actually 100% serious. She is not intereste d sorry

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First of all she never saw you as a romantic prospect so I doubt there is a chance now.

 

Second, you can't develop a relationship through dishonesty, game playing or social media. You need to go on an actual date. Do not give women you like gifts in the hopes that you can buy your way out of the friendzone. If you ask a woman out & she says anything other than yes, move on.

 

Spending years being friends then considering dating is a waste of time. It's one thing if over time you develop feelings for someone over time but as a plan, friends for years hoping it will blossom into love, is a bad plan.

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She never had feelings for you...to her you were just friends....I think you let your imagination run away with you thinking there was this great romance building between you or she could read your mind this is how you felt about her.

 

She put the brakes on you right at the beginning for sure. As soon as you get "lets be friends first and maybe".....it's all a crock of s^&%. There is no open door or a promise of anything.

 

This is what you do....if you get anything but a YES, take it as a no and move on...stop wasting your time on maybes, or there could be.

 

Sorry for the mom talk but, you are 25 years old...you are a grown a$$ man. You should already be familiar with this high school crap and be avoiding it.

 

 

I agree, you should be asking WOMEN out on dates to start something romantic.

Edited by smackie9
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You are 25? You have been acting like a 16 year old.

 

Stop playing all these hot and cold games. If you like someone then make it clear - ask them out. You are the man so lead.

 

If she makes an excuse then you know she's not interested and can move on and find someone else.

 

Don't waste time and energy into women there is no future with.

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You are 25? You have been acting like a 16 year old.

 

Stop playing all these hot and cold games. If you like someone then make it clear - ask them out. You are the man so lead.

 

If she makes an excuse then you know she's not interested and can move on and find someone else.

 

Don't waste time and energy into women there is no future with.

 

What you say has truth in it. I didn't want any of this high school BS. I asked her out a few times and she said "I would love to but I'm just too busy, I can't even see my best friend" and etcetera. Given the emotional place I was in, I've seen it as a half-yes, that's why I was confused. Maybe she was just trying to use me.

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No, she wasn't trying to use you. She told you from the beginning she wasn't interested. No one wants to be friends for a few years and then try being romantic. If she had any attraction for you, she would NEVER have told you that. Trust me, if a guy she's excited about comes along, she will be all over him and won't be telling him she only wants to be friends. She was just giving you a vague nonpersonal reason for why she's not interested hoping not to hurt your feelings. Everything else is in your imagination. She's probably making sure you're not spewing about her on social media. She's social. She likes to keep friends. She's social and that makes her perfectly capable of being assertive enough to let a guy know she is romantically interested.

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What you say has truth in it. I didn't want any of this high school BS. I asked her out a few times and she said "I would love to but I'm just too busy, I can't even see my best friend" and etcetera. Given the emotional place I was in, I've seen it as a half-yes, that's why I was confused. Maybe she was just trying to use me.

She's not using you. She gave you the friendship card right at the beginning, you just pushing for more.

 

Just because a girl is nice to you or comes over to chat, doesn't mean she's looking for a BF.

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IF she has feelings for me, how can I know it and how can I salvage this relationship? What should I do when I see her on the next term? I'm already seeing other girls if that's what you'd recommend, but I think a connection like we had with this girl is something else and if it's salvagable, I want to save it.

 

You can start by not playing childish games.

 

If you want to be with her, then act like it. Tell her what your intentions are. If you can't do that, then leave her alone, block her number, block her on social media and go live your life.

 

Maybe she was just trying to use me.

 

No. She wasn't. She never had sufficient enough interest in your to employ using you.

 

More than likely, you decided to see what you wanted to see and not what was in front of you at your feet, fallen out in experience.

Edited by kendahke
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