Jump to content

Asking girls out


FastHands

Recommended Posts

The dating process in a nutshell. You ask out many many girls out until you get one to go on a date. 1st date is a hug and sometime a kiss (preferably get the kiss over with). 2nd and third get greet with a kiss (if kissed on 1st date)and try to get as Far as possible. It's not a relationship until the sex is attained. If both like the sex then you go into constant sex as your learning about each other (pair bonding). The longer this goes on the more "feelings" are developed, thus leading to a serious relationship and ultimately marriage.

 

Now on this forum many suggested dating more than 1 at a time so if one doesn't work out there's a backup.

 

Asking a girl out is a numbers game. Even if you get shot down (keep composed) keep asking until you get some dates.

Thoughts? Critiques? Anything to add?

Edited by FastHands
Link to post
Share on other sites
MaleIntuition

Now you assume that feelings can only develop After intimacy is brought into the equation. Everyone whom has ever had a crush on somebody should know that is not true.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm old school woman. Instead of asking out many girls, I would advise you to put in the effort to build a mutual rapport with one girl and ask her out.

 

At least, it's how it was very successfully done back in the day. It seems to me that these days, many don't want to put in the hard yards of conversation and finding mutual interest before requesting a date.

 

Yes, there will be far less women to ask out. But also far less rejection.

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites

the Achilles heel you have in your strategy is this:

 

1) finding the "right" girl is a very very hard to find.

 

2) if you do find her and you are in a situation where you are dating many and she happens to be one that is not doing so, you run the risk of losing her.

 

3) it will take a very long time to find another one again.

 

do you care? do you not care? only you can answer that one.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
The dating process in a nutshell. You ask out many many girls out until you get one to go on a date. 1st date is a hug and sometime a kiss (preferably get the kiss over with). 2nd and third get greet with a kiss (if kissed on 1st date)and try to get as Far as possible. It's not a relationship until the sex is attained. If both like the sex then you go into constant sex as your learning about each other (pair bonding). The longer this goes on the more "feelings" are developed, thus leading to a serious relationship and ultimately marriage.

 

Now on this forum many suggested dating more than 1 at a time so if one doesn't work out there's a backup.

 

Asking a girl out is a numbers game. Even if you get shot down (keep composed) keep asking until you get some dates.

Thoughts? Critiques? Anything to add?

 

Yep.

 

In my experience dating goes as follows.

 

It often starts with eye contact and a smile.

 

You ask a woman out only if you are interested in being with her and you avoid the scattergun approach, since most (certainly not all) of the ones you like tend to say yes when you ask.

 

Or the woman asks you out on a date or ask you to kiss them or have sex with them (which was the usual way it went for me). Then you pick and choose who you will date or want to have sex with.

 

You also get used to turning some women down for sex and dates, since you don't want to be with or have everyone.

 

It's also a good idea to date one at a time, since it's easier to remember their name and keep track. While it also saves you some money as well, even though some of the women who ask you out on a date insist on paying during the date.

 

The first date often leads to sex, if not, then the second date usually leads to sex, with the third date normally being the last date when you end up having sex. Or the sex seldom ever occurs at all after a third date, usually because of an apparent absence of mutual wanton carnal desire.

 

Likewise when I waited and didn't start to have sex with a woman by the end of the second, or third date. They tended to ask what was I waiting for, or instead initiated themselves rather than wait any longer like my now wife did.

 

Or alternatively you meet a woman at a party or a club/pub you chat for a little while. Then you have sex with them after a few minutes or hours of chatting and touching/kissing, once and sometimes twice or more. Then if you both liked it and are available you then might start dating, like my ex-wife and I did.

 

Sex is a passing thing, to share for the pleasure of the act. If wanting to have an ongoing sexual relationship with the woman. Having sex early helps all of you to discern if you have sexual compatibility. Instead of investing oneself more emotionally in an ongoing relationship, with those who are a bad sexual fit.

 

That said if a woman turns you down for a date or doesn't want to date you further. It's no big deal since you don't want to be in a sexual relationship with people who aren't keen on you in that way.

 

So if someone says no or fobs you off, that's fine. They can't help who they are attracted to, just as you can't help who your attracted to. So move on cheerfully since there's no malice in a lack of attraction.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Thoughts? Critiques? Anything to add?

 

It's way to formulaic, IMHO. It may happen that way, but most likely not exactly so. I've had everything from women jumping me even before we had a proper date to friends deciding after years that I'm the one. Most likely it will work out slightly different than you would expect, and the key is to be flexible in that regard.

 

There is nothing wrong with asking a girl out on a date, but it may not always work that way. She may ask you out, or she may simply want to have sex with you. Quite frankly, not everybody likes dates, either. I know of a few women who absolutely despise them.

 

Basil's comment about talking to a woman first and finding out how she ticks is more or less correct from my point of view.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
I'm old school woman. Instead of asking out many girls, I would advise you to put in the effort to build a mutual rapport with one girl and ask her out.

 

At least, it's how it was very successfully done back in the day. It seems to me that these days, many don't want to put in the hard yards of conversation and finding mutual interest before requesting a date.

 

Yes, there will be far less women to ask out. But also far less rejection.

 

 

My uncle uses this technique and he rarely doesnt get a gf.

My cousin on the other hand, he sees a girl he likes and he can tell (somehow?). He has a convo and he goes for the #. She says no but he persisted like- it will be fun blah blah. And he gets the #. I don't think he calls them immediately. Maybe 3 or 4 days... Better yet if she calls first, he knows it's pretty much easy/done. He has 6-9 girls #s on his phone. Hes always goes out with- I'm going to Rachel? Blah bla bla. The other thing is he drinks and he has a lot of friends he hangs out at the bars. Now my cousin is short maybe 5'3 or 5'4. He's always serious and rarely smiles. It's worked for him, however I struggle with any of his techniques, lol? Other thing is he's a jerk, he shows he cares for her at the begining, once he gets what he wants he becomes more of a jerk ( I'm pretty certain that how he does it?)

Edited by FastHands
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
It's way to formulaic, IMHO. It may happen that way, but most likely not exactly so. I've had everything from women jumping me even before we had a proper date to friends deciding after years that I'm the one. Most likely it will work out slightly different than you would expect, and the key is to be flexible in that regard.

 

There is nothing wrong with asking a girl out on a date, but it may not always work that way. She may ask you out, or she may simply want to have sex with you. Quite frankly, not everybody likes dates, either. I know of a few women who absolutely despise them.

 

Basil's comment about talking to a woman first and finding out how she ticks is more or less correct from my point of view.

 

I once had a girl follow me everywhere. Never knew her name and maybe shared a class with her. I think what did is she saw me laughing with my friends.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
the Achilles heel you have in your strategy is this:

 

1) finding the "right" girl is a very very hard to find.

 

2) if you do find her and you are in a situation where you are dating many and she happens to be one that is not doing so, you run the risk of losing her.

 

3) it will take a very long time to find another one again.

 

do you care? do you not care? only you can answer that one.

 

I thought this too. A relative of mine had his gf come over and after she left, the other girl was waiting by the door. She knew that that was his gf, but yet proceeded to go out with him. I don't think he ever admitted that that was his other girl, because she wouldn't dare to ask.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Yep.

 

In my experience dating goes as follows.

 

It often starts with eye contact and a smile.

 

You ask a woman out only if you are interested in being with her and you avoid the scattergun approach, since most (certainly not all) of the ones you like tend to say yes when you ask.

 

Or the woman asks you out on a date or ask you to kiss them or have sex with them (which was the usual way it went for me). Then you pick and choose who you will date or want to have sex with.

 

You also get used to turning some women down for sex and dates, since you don't want to be with or have everyone.

 

It's also a good idea to date one at a time, since it's easier to remember their name and keep track. While it also saves you some money as well, even though some of the women who ask you out on a date insist on paying during the date.

 

The first date often leads to sex, if not, then the second date usually leads to sex, with the third date normally being the last date when you end up having sex. Or the sex seldom ever occurs at all after a third date, usually because of an apparent absence of mutual wanton carnal desire.

 

Likewise when I waited and didn't start to have sex with a woman by the end of the second, or third date. They tended to ask what was I waiting for, or instead initiated themselves rather than wait any longer like my now wife did.

 

Or alternatively you meet a woman at a party or a club/pub you chat for a little while. Then you have sex with them after a few minutes or hours of chatting and touching/kissing, once and sometimes twice or more. Then if you both liked it and are available you then might start dating, like my ex-wife and I did.

 

Sex is a passing thing, to share for the pleasure of the act. If wanting to have an ongoing sexual relationship with the woman. Having sex early helps all of you to discern if you have sexual compatibility. Instead of investing oneself more emotionally in an ongoing relationship, with those who are a bad sexual fit.

 

That said if a woman turns you down for a date or doesn't want to date you further. It's no big deal since you don't want to be in a sexual relationship with people who aren't keen on you in that way.

 

So if someone says no or fobs you off, that's fine. They can't help who they are attracted to, just as you can't help who your attracted to. So move on cheerfully since there's no malice in a lack of attraction.

 

TY

 

You ask a woman out only if you are interested in being with her and you avoid the scattergun approach, since most (certainly not all) of the ones you like tend to say yes when you ask.

 

I think this is what I need to focus on. I think I wait too long for a signal back from her.

Link to post
Share on other sites
I once had a girl follow me everywhere. Never knew her name and maybe shared a class with her. I think what did is she saw me laughing with my friends.

 

A girl follows you everywhere and you don't talk to her?

Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think you have to have sex to start a relationship. This seems simplistic and mathematical. Relationships, and their progression, are fluid and organic: there is no algorithm to define them.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
. 2nd and third get greet with a kiss (if kissed on 1st date)and try to get as Far as possible. It's not a relationship until the sex is attained.

 

Thoughts? Critiques? Anything to add?

 

 

That's where you lost me. While I'm no prude & have had ONSs the idea of pushing as far as you, the man, can get as early as possible is selfish objectification. It also fails to realize that the biggest sexual organ in the body is the brain. Yes the physical aspects of sex are pleasurable but that is no where near the object. Any animal can fornicate; the key to a healthy relationship is finding somebody who stimulates you on other planes.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
... the key to a healthy relationship is finding somebody who stimulates you on other planes.

 

yes, I almost joined the mile high club

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
I haven't been turned down for a date in so long that I can't even remember when it happened.

 

maybe we should switch user names? you can be alphamale and i'll become enigma :laugh:

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

It only appears to be a numbers game when you don't know what you're doing. A man who knows what he's doing, sees 10 women, and he'll know which one to ask out, and she'll say yes. Sorry OP, I'm afraid you're just groping in the dark.

 

By the way, I give similar advice to graduating students. Don't send out 500 crappy resumes, it's not a numbers game. You only need to send about 10 good resumes to the right places.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
The dating process in a nutshell. You ask out many many girls out until you get one to go on a date. 1st date is a hug and sometime a kiss (preferably get the kiss over with). 2nd and third get greet with a kiss (if kissed on 1st date)and try to get as Far as possible. It's not a relationship until the sex is attained. If both like the sex then you go into constant sex as your learning about each other (pair bonding). The longer this goes on the more "feelings" are developed, thus leading to a serious relationship and ultimately marriage.

 

Now on this forum many suggested dating more than 1 at a time so if one doesn't work out there's a backup.

 

Asking a girl out is a numbers game. Even if you get shot down (keep composed) keep asking until you get some dates.

Thoughts? Critiques? Anything to add?

 

Ha, this sort of advice reads like it came from the Seduction Community circa 2007. The problem with it is that there is a lot wrong with it.

 

1. If you have to ask out a lot of women to get one date, then you likely are doing a bad job in reading people and feeling how your interactions are really going. You probably are unable to feel whether or not there is mutual chemistry in the first place. If there is mutual chemistry then she probably will gladly accept your date invite. And if there is no mutual chemistry, then there is no point in asking for the date.

 

2. Yes we as guys do have to make a move. But if she is into you, then she will reciprocate back. There is no need to "push" for anything.

Edited by Imajerk17
Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't go around asking out random women. You want to go out there and build connections with people. Sometimes, those connections have romantic potential, others do not. For dating purposes, you want to focus on the potentially romantic connections instead of trying to force things when nothing is there. I haven't been turned down for a date in so long that I can't even remember when it happened.

 

Quoted for emphasis.

Edited by basil67
  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
If there is mutual chemistry then she probably will gladly accept your date invite.

 

mutual "chemistry" usually starts out with mutual eye contact which is initiated by the woman

Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't go around asking out random women. You want to go out there and build connections with people. Sometimes, those connections have romantic potential, others do not. For dating purposes, you want to focus on the potentially romantic connections instead of trying to force things when nothing is there. I haven't been turned down for a date in so long that I can't even remember when it happened.

 

It's an excellent point. But how are you going to know whether there's potential unless you ask them out? Isn't that the point of a first (or subsequent) date?

 

I suppose that point is lost on those who are only out to get sex.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
It only appears to be a numbers game when you don't know what you're doing. A man who knows what he's doing, sees 10 women, and he'll know which one to ask out, and she'll say yes. Sorry OP, I'm afraid you're just groping in the dark.

 

By the way, I give similar advice to graduating students. Don't send out 500 crappy resumes, it's not a numbers game. You only need to send about 10 good resumes to the right places.

 

I agree. My uncle is this way, he knows one will give in. My cousin on the other hand, is the one that keeps going and is always looking for chances (even if he has a gf).

Link to post
Share on other sites
I'm old school woman. Instead of asking out many girls, I would advise you to put in the effort to build a mutual rapport with one girl and ask her out.

 

At least, it's how it was very successfully done back in the day. It seems to me that these days, many don't want to put in the hard yards of conversation and finding mutual interest before requesting a date.

 

Yes, there will be far less women to ask out. But also far less rejection.

 

Maybe this is why I was never been turned down for a first date.

 

You may find if you establish a good rapport with woman that she will ask you out. Or maybe you just end up making out at the bar.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...