avoforastig Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 I've had a cold for 4 days. I've been on 5 dates with a woman. Things are going well. She is supposed to come over to my place for dinner after work tomorrow. She is aware that I have been sick for a few days, but she was out of town over the weekend so I haven't seen her in about a week. I was wondering if I should offer her an out on the date f I am still feeling sick tomorrow. I'm sure I won't be able to put my best foot forward and there is a good chance she will get sick. She has a vacation for her birthday coming up next week, so I would feel bad if she got sick. More than likely we would end up making out at the very least, so she probably would get sick. I thought about texting her tomorrow if I still feel sick something like: "I want to see you tonight, but I'm still sick. I won't be offended if you just want to wait until the weekend to catch up, if you are concerned about getting sick." Thoughts? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
igotoverit Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 I've had a cold for 4 days. I've been on 5 dates with a woman. Things are going well. She is supposed to come over to my place for dinner after work tomorrow. She is aware that I have been sick for a few days, but she was out of town over the weekend so I haven't seen her in about a week. I was wondering if I should offer her an out on the date f I am still feeling sick tomorrow. I'm sure I won't be able to put my best foot forward and there is a good chance she will get sick. She has a vacation for her birthday coming up next week, so I would feel bad if she got sick. More than likely we would end up making out at the very least, so she probably would get sick. I thought about texting her tomorrow if I still feel sick something like: "I want to see you tonight, but I'm still sick. I won't be offended if you just want to wait until the weekend to catch up, if you are concerned about getting sick." Thoughts? Good idea .. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 It seems like the kindest thing to do... Link to post Share on other sites
bachdude Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 I wouldn’t put the decision on her. I’d just say, “I was looking forward to seeing you tonight but unfortunately I am still too under the weather. How about next weekend? I apologize for the last minute change.” Something like that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 I wouldn’t put the decision on her. I’d just say, “I was looking forward to seeing you tonight but unfortunately I am still too under the weather. How about next weekend? I apologize for the last minute change.” Something like that. Yes, I like this better. I wouldn't text her, I'd call. I'd also be curious if she asked if you needed anything?? Don't ask for anything, just see if she offers anything like Cough Medicine, throat drops, orange juice, chicken soup... That would be telling about her level of compassion and how much she thinks of you. Just my two cents... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LilySun Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 Simply tell her you are still under the weather, and don't want her to catch it, so you would like to reschedule and apologize because you really looked forward to the date. I'm betting that she would understand and happily reschedule for another day. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyLove Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 Could you maybe give her a heads up now and let her know you're still feeling sick at this time and leave it up to her to either cancel now or wait until tmrw to see how you are feeling? Link to post Share on other sites
hamsterhouse Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 RESCHEDULE. I'd make the font larger if I could. About a month ago I was also on day 4 of a nasty cold, but I chose to go on my second date with a girl I was really into. She was showing high interest as well. I had to reschedule our second date for the following week because of work, and by that point there was almost a 3 week gap between dates, so I decided to tough it up at the risk of losing her to Old Father Time. What happened? The date started off well, but my ears were plugged and I could barely hear her, resulting in my misunderstanding information and her having to repeat herself. We saw a movie and I was fighting off sneezing the whole time. At dinner I just wasn't feeling well which resulted in our conversation being too deep, heavy, and even a little negative for a second date. I didn't attempt to kiss her at the end of the date because I didn't want to get her sick. I also never explicitly told her I had a cold... Fast forward, in the ensuing weeks I heard from her less and less. She'd agree to dates then flake, and as of today I haven't heard from her in 7 days. Do yourself a favor and reschedule. If you've already seen her multiple times and have a good rapport, she'll understand and maybe even give you some bonus points for you being considerate. However, if your cold doesn't bother her and she still insists on coming over, marry her. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 I'd call her & say that, not text. She needs to hear the "sick" in your voice so she doesn't think it's an excuse & that you are going out with a different woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 I would leave it up to her to cancel. People pretend to be sick all the time to avoid dates. If a guy left it up to me, I would believe that he is telling the truth. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lamartine Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 I would definitely reschedule. I would be very upset if I got sick because someone who knew he was sick invited me over. I agree with the others who said to call her instead of texting. I would also plan an alternate date and specify the exact day and time. This should eliminate any suspicion that you are faking it. Also, whoever said that you could learn a lot from her response to your being sick is completely right. I recently ended a short relationship because I got pneumonia over the holidays, and his reaction was to get upset that I didn't respond to enough of his calls or plan enough dates. I was on the fence about the "relation" anyway, and his lack of caring helped me make the decision. Hopefully, in your case, she will bring you soup or call to check on you! Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 People use "feeling unwell" as an excuse for lots of things, so you need to convince her that you are genuinely sick. I like the idea of rescheduling, as it's not cancelling everything outright. I also like the idea of calling, as she'll hear it in your voice and the fact you've taken that effort to call rather than text is a good thing. If she offers to come around with soup or medication or whatever, accept. She knows not much is going to happen other than perhaps her waiting on you a little. Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 Just another idea, how about you offer a FaceTime date with her? Say both of you get dinner and have a virtual date. This way she knows you are into her, not flaking, and not seeing another woman. If she offers to come over regardless, kudos to her. However, if you are so sick you’ll be a downer then just tell her you are too sick. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 17, 2018 Share Posted January 17, 2018 Don't even consider having her over to your germy place where you've been sick. Give her the option of putting it off or going out someplace and not touching each other and promise not to breathe on her and tell her you'll disinfect your car. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted January 18, 2018 Share Posted January 18, 2018 Yes, what exactly is wrong with letting her know you are still ill? It might be good to say something like "I would love to see you but I am still ill. I don't want you to catch this unpleasant germ. Shall we reschedule?" Link to post Share on other sites
Author avoforastig Posted January 18, 2018 Author Share Posted January 18, 2018 (edited) I would leave it up to her to cancel. People pretend to be sick all the time to avoid dates. If a guy left it up to me, I would believe that he is telling the truth. I left the decision up to her as I didn't want her to think I was flaking. I made the decision around noon and there was no way to call her, so I had to text. I told her,"I want to see you tonight, but wanted to warn you I'm still sick. I won't be offended if you just want to wait until the weekend to catch up. Just let me know either way." I said that as I know she was busy Thursday night and I didn't want to get her sick before her vacation next week. She also knew I had been sick for several days, even prefacing the date request initially, with if I'm feeling better by Wednesday, why don't you come over. She replied saying,"Ugh. I'm sorry. I probably should avoid getting sick." I replied stating"I understand. Do you have plans for the weekend?" I still haven't heard back from her though and its stressing me out. I sent her the second text about 6 hours ago. Its getting late to call her. She is always very slow to respond to texts so not sure if this is just more of the same. She is kind of a workaholic. I don't know what to do. Edited January 18, 2018 by avoforastig Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted January 18, 2018 Share Posted January 18, 2018 I think you should let her know of the cold and you'd rather sit out the upcoming date with her. It's not that you don't want to be with her, it's just that you have a cold which would make things rough. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts