BF taking kid to gun shows

[LilySun]

I'm not a parent so I can't judge how others raise kids, but I'm uneasy about something I learned. Me and BF have only been dating a month or so. He is a good dad and has full custody and spends most of his spare time with them. His son is 10 and has Aspburgers. Anyway, BF is not a gun happy guy but he enjoys things like car shows and gun shows, etc.

 

So last week he took his son to a gun show. He posted a pic on Facebook of his son holding a rifle in proper position, it's clear from the pic the kid has probably done this before.

 

Is it wrong that I am very bothered by this? Taking your kid is one thing but to also teach a 10 yr old how to hold one or use one? Is this a common thing for hunters or gun hobbyists to do with their children?

 

It's none of my business how he raises his kids. But if that was my kid the father would be in some deep sh$t with me. I haven't told him but I strongly disagree with this and it makes me feel disgusted at him even though I know he loves his son to death and puts him 1st in life. If my parents were able to see that picture they would instantly disapprove of my BF, though he treats me like a queen and there are no issues there. The picture almost makes me feel embarrassed. Am I wrong to feel this way?

 

Btw I'm not against having a gun at home for safety, or against hunting as a hobby, but IMO kids should be kept far away from it.

[d0nnivain]

Guns are a polarizing issue. Mental health & guns is a quagmire.

 

If your BF has guns, better he should familiar his son with them & teach gun safety.

 

At one month dating, it's not your place to tell him what activities he can or can't do with his own child.

 

If you don't like this you need to vote with your feet. This may be the first indication that you two have incompatible values.

[carhill]

I took a gun safety course at age 8 after a friend accidentally killed himself by mishandling a gun. After completion, hunting experience occurred, mostly with shotguns hunting duck and quail. This was normal in my generation and demographic and that was 5 decades ago. We reloaded our own shotgun shells at home, so learned how to work with explosives/propellants and shot and do it right and safe. My dad, unfortunately, killed people in the war so was reticent about guns, bad memories I guess, but was big on safety. I hunted with friends and their younger fathers who never saw combat action.

 

ETA, I never took any of my partner's kids to gun shows but did do elementary gun safety with a few of the boys, showing them how to disassemble, clean and assemble a weapon and handle it in a safe manner, something I often see adults failing at. No idea if any of that stuck but I figured it was worth paying forward. I'll never forget that funeral for as long as I live.

Edited January 14, 2018 by carhill

[Mrin]

Guns are a cultural and recreation thing. I grew up in a familywhere hunting and gun ownership was just a thing. We weren't gun nuts or anything. But we did like to hunt and we did like to shoot. By 10 years old I owned a pellet gun, a BB gun, and a single shot 22 rifle. I shot my first Antelope when I was 13 years old. I purchased my first shotgun when I was 14. And had the greatest lever action Marlin 22 rifle when I was 15. I could break down and clean a gun by 10 and by 13 I had taken my hunter safety course.

 

Honestly if somebody is going to raise their child around guns then I would want that child to be as educated as possible rather than simply keeping them hidden away with no practical exposure on their safe use.

 

That being said I decided that I would not raise my daughters around guns. Part of this is in deference to their mother who doesn't like guns. And part of this is simply I don't care to have them in my life anymore. It's not that I'm afraid of guns I just don't find them interesting that I don't like to hunt anymore. I do like to shoot bow though.

[LilySun]

Okay well it makes me feel better if this is not an uncommon thing for parents to do. He is a pretty stable, level headed guy so it shocked me. I guess as long as the kid is educated and knows about safety that I shouldn't feel woozy about it.

 

But I would never ever try to say where someone else should take their kid. That's not on my mind. It just made me feel uneasy but perhaps it shouldn't. I'm not very experienced with guns. If I was then I probably wouldn't freak about something like this.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I don't own any guns, but my exH owns several guns and bows. My 15 year old son owns at least 2 guns that I know of (one I was not at all keen on when I found out about it). Going to a gun show would not be out of the ordinary and not something I'd mind.

[LilySun]

Think I'm just over reacting now... Because 1,I'm not a parent. And 2, I know nothing about guns aside from being dangerous.

 

I've also never a dated someone into guns much less someone who teaches their kids about them. So I guess it's just all new to me and I'm sure he knows what he's doing as a dad.

[CptInsano]

[...]

Is it wrong that I am very bothered by this? Taking your kid is one thing but to also teach a 10 yr old how to hold one or use one? Is this a common thing for hunters or gun hobbyists to do with their children?

[...]

 

I grew up in Germany, and guns were largely considered sporting equipment, a very different attitude than in the US. In many rural areas you'll find the targets of the annual shooting competition mounted above the front door. People would teach their kids to shoot small bore around 4-6 years of age if they thought they'd have a chance to shoot competitively. I grew up within earshot of a gun range, and hearing gun shots was as normal to me as a kid as hearing the birds sing.

 

I now live in the US, and in my neck of the woods most kids know how to handle a firearm and use it effectively around that age, but the focus is clearly on hunting. If I hear gun shots these days it's hunting season. We sometimes get frantic calls from people who moved out from the suburbs when they see somebody walking around with a shotgun. Depending on the time of year the police may not even respond to that.

 

Cultural attitudes toward guns vary greatly, but unless there is other reason for concern I would consider it just that.

[Cookiesandough]

Think I'm just over reacting now... Because 1,I'm not a parent. And 2, I know nothing about guns aside from being dangerous.

 

I've also never a dated someone into guns much less someone who teaches their kids about them. So I guess it's just all new to me and I'm sure he knows what he's doing as a dad.

It’s completely normal for people interested in guns to indroduce their children to them. As long as he’s not leaving them around unsupervised, I wouldn’t worry and give him the benefit of the doubt he knows what he’s doing and is a responsible parent.

[Ruby Slippers]

I'm from Texas, learned the basics of shooting a gun and using a bow and arrow as a kid when boy relatives brought over their BB guns and bows (not to mention four-wheelers, motorcycles, video games, and other toys for boys).

 

I was a good shot, and I'd love to learn to shoot a real gun properly. I'd prefer to be in a relationship with a man who owns a gun and knows how to use it in case the crap hits the fan. The last guy I dated showed me his little airtight gun closet, tricked out with cool lights and everything, said he could show me some things, and it was a definite plus for him.

 

So this would not be a problem for me. In fact, I would find it cute and hope the man would help me develop my ninja girl skillz

[bachdude]

OP, if guns are in the house or, as were I live in a rural area, guns are common, the responsible thing to do is teach kinds how to use them, respect them, teach gun safety, and so on. To fail to do this is exactly how accidental deaths happen with kids, if they get into their parents’ guns or the guns of their friends’ parents.

[carhill]

Great example, I believe I posted in another thread awhile back, was when I was out mowing the yard at my new place I heard a gunshot, not uncommon where I live in a free state since we can shoot at home, but then there was yelling and it turned out the son of the lady across the way accidentally shot her car and he's no kid, probably early 20's. Now there's a good reason for gun safety, or at least me to wear my vest while mowing the yard

 

With proper rifle handling (it was a rifle) and trigger discipline that never would've happened. I was taught even if the weapon is in pieces on the shooting table, treat it as loaded and ready to shoot. Where is the barrel pointed?

 

In some ways a gun show is a great place to teach a kid since one encounters all kinds there. Every interaction and observance is a teaching opportunity. I don't like crowds so mostly have avoided them but do see the positives.

[Whodatdog]

Would you be upset if he was teaching his son how to drive? Cars kill thousands every year. Cars arent illegal, and neither are guns. Both need proper education to use. Sounds like his dad is very pro-active. Good for him.

[Cookiesandough]

me. In fact, I would find it cute and hope the man would help me develop my ninja girl skillz

 

Hahaha xD ninja girl skills. My dad taught me the basics of guns and how to put in an arrow in the knee as well

[Ruby Slippers]

With proper rifle handling (it was a rifle) and trigger discipline that never would've happened. I was taught even if the weapon is in pieces on the shooting table, treat it as loaded and ready to shoot. Where is the barrel pointed?

Yes, good point.

 

People tend to have strong feelings about guns, which makes sense, as they are weapons that can kill. It's important to maintain a reverence and respect around such things.

 

When that man showed me his guns, I couldn't help commenting on safety aspects, and then a short discussion of the subject ensued. A person's philosophy about gun ownership and use is important.

[lolgorgeous]

Teaching your kids gun safety is great, but I can't stand it when parents take their kids hunting. It can't be healthy to demonstrate to a child how to inflict suffering and death on other sentient beings for pleasure.

Edited January 14, 2018 by lolgorgeous

[BaileyB]

Well, how he raises his children is his concern, not yours (especially at one month dating). If you don't like it, the only option you have is to vote with your feet.

 

It tends to be a contentious issue with very strong opinions on either side. I personally would have a hard time with this, because I do not understand or agree with the pro-gun culture that promotes gun use and gun ownership... To each their own, it just wouldn't be my thing...

[2much4]

I am a bit surprised by the answers on this thread. Maybe it's because I don't live in the US.

 

While there are several weapons in my house and I appreciate shooting as a sport....I think there is something wrong about letting a kid handle a weapon....unless there's a specific reason behind it like avoiding accidents (like another poster mentioned).

[Popsicle]

Man, you have a lot of anxiety and problems with your bf. You’ve made many threads.

[LilySun]

Teaching your kids gun safety is great, but I can't stand it when parents take their kids hunting. It can't be healthy to demonstrate to a child how to inflict suffering and death on other sentient beings for pleasure.

 

He is not even into hunting. So it does make me wonder how his kid has interest in guns, but I think for some people it's just an interesting subject even if not actively using it. Weather or not he owns guns at home for protective reasons, I don't know. But I'm not against people having a gun for that reason.

 

It's not everyday that I see a 10 yr old child holding a real gun like a professional.. Lol. So I freaked out based on that by itself.

[carhill]

Teaching your kids gun safety is great, but I can't stand it when parents take their kids hunting. It can't be healthy to demonstrate to a child how to inflict suffering and death on other sentient beings for pleasure.

That's a good point but probably lost on people used to animal husbandry. When I shoot a cow or a pig in the head, whether with a gun or a bolt device, to harvest it, that's part of life. It's how those nice packages of hamburger or bacon end up in the store, of course raised to an industrial scale for mass consumption. Some people still do it on an individual level as hunters or livestock managers. Customs vary but I was taught to be a minimalist and respectful of game. An understanding of that can be gained through the custom of Letzter Bissen, or 'last bite', where the animal, humanely taken, is presented with a last offering of their browse as a act of respect.

 

Now in my later years, having little need nor desire for animal flesh, I buy it as commercially processed product and no longer hunt. Part of my work in industry was in slaughterhouses and rendering plants so I know how all that goes. Same with hunting. Good lessons IMO to pass along, even if the child ends up never making use of them. History. Tradition.

[LilySun]

Man, you have a lot of anxiety and problems with your bf. You’ve made many threads.

 

Lol, there are no problems with my bf. We get along great. But I still wouldn't let my own kids handle any guns. I will just never tell him I feel that way because it's not my kid.

[BaileyB]

He is not even into hunting.

 

That would be the only acceptable reason for owning a gun, in my humble opinion.

 

The fact that he takes his young son to gun shows or the shooting range would seriously cause me to question his judgment and the compatability of our values. Because, this would not align with my values as a parent or a community citizen.

[LilySun]

I do have a friend that had her 7 year old into hunting deer... But that was because his dad died, and he was a serious hunter. He was following in his dad's footsteps so I didn't think much of it. Though I also never saw pictures of him with guns either. Lol

[Lamartine]

If this is something that you find uncomfortable, then, no, you are not wrong to be concerned.

 

However, this would not bother me. Granted, I am a Texan, grew up with guns, and got a hunting rifle for my tenth birthday...

 

Gun safety, though, is a big deal. If your BF has guns, it's much better for his son to know how to handle them properly. Also, lots of people find hunting and shooting to be relaxing and recreational.

 

That said, the issue of guns is a divisive one. If this is something you don't find tolerable, then I think you should tap to your BF about it. Ultimately, it may be that the two of you are incompatible when it comes to politics and child rearing.