Rafaduu Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 Hello, So basically i started texting with a girl during holiday period and after 4-5 days i asked her out and she agreed. First date: I took her out to the wine bar and we hit it off right away. We talked for 4-5 hours straight and both of us had really great time. Few hours into our first date she suggested that we should meet again in the near future. So as the date ended i did not make any move and just accompanied her back to her place we hugged and went separate ways. I texted her that i had great time and she replied the same way. We texted briefly for 4 days and agreed to meet again. Second date: She suggested we go see a movie "The Greatest Showman" which was pretty cool. We sat through the movie and in the end she suggested that we extend the evening and go meet her TWIN sister and her best friends who had some coctails near by. She said that she wanted to introduce me to her sister and friends. So we met up with them and again had really good time in my opinion. It was a little bit discomforting that i did not had time to talk to her face to face but nevertheless it was okay. I even asked her to a dance, she agreed and it was great. Again during this date she suggested we should meet again in the near future. We again texted briefly The third date saga The day after the second date was wednesday and i wrote her that we should meet again maybe on Friday or Saturday. She replied that she would think about it (and added ) So on thursday she wrote that she had a food poisoning, that she does not feel well and she will go to her parents place for weekend to just rest and get better. I said okay lets than reschedule and meet next week. Additionally i added that i was planning to ask her over to my place cook her some dinner and spend some time together. She said that she would really be interested in that and we should do it next week when she returns. We did not write each other during the weekend, i just asked her few times how she was feeling and she said it was getting better. So on Sunday evening i wrote her and offered to meet her. I told her that if she feels uncomfortable coming to my place we can go watch a basketball game on Tuesday as she has mentioned that she likes to watch Basketball, so do I. She replied that on Tuesday she has GYM and meeting my place sound better. (She later told me that she did not feel like going so she just stayed home ) I told her that okay just let me know when will you be available. On wednesday evening i noticed that she posted on Instagram that she is out with her friends having drinks. So on thursday morning i again suggested that we should meet ( today actually). She quickly replied that is a good idea. So i suggested let us meet today or tomorrow... she said that she is tired today as she was out yesterday and tomorrow she again goes to her parents place for weekend So by that time i was pretty frustrated and i wrote her that maybe she really does not want to meet for a third date for some reason and she is just uncomfortable to tell me that as now we have not met for 1,5 weeks... because by that time she has rejected the meet up 3rd time already. She replied basically that she would really like to meet again but she just do not have time for me :/ After that message i simply replied that okay just let me know when you will be available. In Conclusion: I do consider myself as a person who can read the signals of the woman pretty well... but this time around even i am confused. Should i back off? It seems to me that she only wants to meet me when she does not have anything better to do and basically she does not want to free up her time to meet me and its more like the other thing around. Additionally i am really disturbed that i am always the one who starts texting and not her. And all i get are 1 and 2 phrase answers. So sorry for the long post... What do you thing how i should proceed next... i am thinking i should back off and just stop communicating with her... and if she really wants to meet again she will show initiative. BR, T.A Link to post Share on other sites
gbe2015 Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 Sounds like she's unsure or she's thinking of friendzoning you. In my experience if a woman is into you, you know. If you have doubts she is, she probably isn't. She knows you want to get with her again so leave it at that and go find another woman who wants to spend time with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 That should be the last time you contact her. You've shown plenty of interest and left the ball in her court. Asking her again will come off as desperate. Find someone else to go date. You need to have options. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BarbedFenceRider Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 No reply... Now YOU are too busy. Get another date from someone else and continue having fun. No need to blow stuff up. Just let the train not stop at the station and keep rollin' on.... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 Just because you had two great dates, doesn't mean jack crap-ola. Maybe there just wasn't enough chemistry for her. IMO an interested person is someone who is excited to see you, excited to hear from you and initiates consistent contact. Follow this rule, she wavers, you bail. Don't be a cling-on. Ditch her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 The meeting with the sister and friends was pre-arranged. They were sizing you up. The sister and friends voted. She's overruled. You're out. There won't be a third date. That's why she's been out partying and dodging you since. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted January 12, 2018 Share Posted January 12, 2018 You've put in effort and three strikes...I think it's time to let this one go. Take the hint. Sorry. She might contact you, you go out, everything is great, and then the cycle repeats itself. I've gone around this block too many times. Don't bother. Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted January 12, 2018 Share Posted January 12, 2018 No reply... Now YOU are too busy. Get another date from someone else and continue having fun. No need to blow stuff up. Just let the train not stop at the station and keep rollin' on.... This is the way to go, do not contact her again, she most likely is not interested. I noticed when dating extensively the 2nd/3rd date determined how much a guy liked me. Most of course would pretend to be interested only to not be or would end up leading me on. W/my bf the dates happened as often as we were free and we never just cancelled on each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted January 12, 2018 Share Posted January 12, 2018 I agree - no more contacting her. Go find another, more deserving gal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rafaduu Posted January 12, 2018 Author Share Posted January 12, 2018 Thank you for your replies and feedback. Although i have to add another important information that i simply forgot to add yesterday as i was in a rush while writing this post. Her last bf died in a car crash 1,5 years ago and i was the first guy she agreed to go out with. She has not seen anyone in a long time as dating has not been on her mind for a long time and she visits her parents since that accident almost every weekend because that is where she feels safe. And she also on our first date told me this story and that really touched me that she would share this really personal information with me. She also told me that it has been really tough for her and she still feels the aftershock of this traumatic experience. I am still thinking that i will not contact her myself and will back off. Although what should i do if next week she would contact me and want to hang out, should i back off and bail or should i accept the meeting BR, T.A Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted January 12, 2018 Share Posted January 12, 2018 Thank you for your replies and feedback. Although i have to add another important information that i simply forgot to add yesterday as i was in a rush while writing this post. Her last bf died in a car crash 1,5 years ago and i was the first guy she agreed to go out with. She has not seen anyone in a long time as dating has not been on her mind for a long time and she visits her parents since that accident almost every weekend because that is where she feels safe. And she also on our first date told me this story and that really touched me that she would share this really personal information with me. She also told me that it has been really tough for her and she still feels the aftershock of this traumatic experience. I am still thinking that i will not contact her myself and will back off. Although what should i do if next week she would contact me and want to hang out, should i back off and bail or should i accept the meeting BR, T.A I haven't had good experiences with widowers. They're locked on the really great times and it's like dating someone who is still hung up on their ex but worse. They didn't fight or break up or anything. If she's this traumatized and has to go home every weekend, she's not in a place to date, though you're the stepping stone to getting back out there, thinking she's ready, then not sure if she is. Her friends and family are probably telling her it's time, and she thinks it's time...not sure though. Nothing permanent will result, I'm guessing. You're the rebound or transition. It's up to you if you want to try again. Don't hold out much hope. I'm the "submariner" magnet. They disappear, come back, disappear, and come back again. Each time you think, "This is it. This time will be different." What makes it different? What's going to change? She's going to continue to get cold feet and she'll be unavailable on the weekends. I also tend to migrate towards trying again, at least once, because "what if," and at least I tried...this is more for me. No guarantees. You can accept and see, or you can decline that you don't think she's ready and wish her well. Do you need that second chance so you don't ultimately feel like she's "the one who got away" because you didn't try? It's up to you. Link to post Share on other sites
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