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Two good dates, no response for third date request, now what


avoforastig

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I recently went on two fun dates with a woman. The second date was long and ended with a make out session at her apartment. She texted me the next day and told me she had a really fun time the night before. She went out of town for the weekend. We exchanged a few texts while she was away. We exchanged a few texts last night on her way home(she took a bus to another city). However, my last text asked if she wanted to go to an art gallery event/cocktail party. I sent her a link to the event and asked her if she wanted to go, but I didn't mention anything about the date/time(I assumed she would look at the link).

 

She was probably busy all day having just returned from being out of town and starting a work week after the holidays. However, its been almost 24 hours with no response. What should I do? Should I just make other plans? I have a few other irons in the fire that I would like to explore but she was my top prospect at the moment.

Edited by avoforastig
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Maybe she'd rather make out than go to an art gallery. Some of those gallery events can be boring with fake people.

 

She said she liked art events. This is such a head scratcher!

 

I sent her another message just to see how her workday went, we had been texting daily so I thought I'd give this possible ghoster a last try.

 

Ugh was that a bad idea?

Edited by avoforastig
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She said she liked art events. This is such a head scratcher!

 

I sent her another message just to see how her workday went, we had been texting daily so I thought I'd give this possible ghoster a last try.

 

Ugh was that a bad idea?

 

I dunno. Nothing wrong with asking, need not be this event. Maybe she goes to these events and already planned on going with friends that she's not ready to introduce you to?

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I'veseenbetterlol

If I were in your shoes, just try and forget her unless she texts again. Whenever a guy took longer then a couple hours, he was always not interested, go w/your other options and you may be surprised to find something there.

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If I were in your shoes' date=' just try and forget her unless she texts again. Whenever a guy took longer then a couple hours, he was always not interested, go w/your other options and you may be surprised to find something there.[/quote']

 

After sending the follow up text, she did reply but she said she was going to a pilates class at that time(?bull****). She did say that she was really busy with work but didn't offer anything to further the conversation. IDK what to do now. She didn't offer another time or anything to hang out, was it inappropriate to reach out again after 24 hours. What to do now?

 

My confidence regarding the situation just sank like crazy though.

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After sending the follow up text, she did reply but she said she was going to a pilates class at that time(?bull****). She did say that she was really busy with work but didn't offer anything to further the conversation. IDK what to do now. She didn't offer another time or anything to hang out, was it inappropriate to reach out again after 24 hours. What to do now?

 

My confidence regarding the situation just sank like crazy though.

 

From this, she is making a direct excuse ( Pilates) as to why she can't attend the art event. She also threw in "i'm so busy with work" and didn't offer another date idea. It sounds like she's done. Sorry man- people are odd and can change their minds at the drop of a hat. Sometimes one gets so caught up in the situation they think they are having fun and then they reflect on it after and think nah, not for me.

 

Either way, just leave her be. No fun trying to convince someone to hang out with you! Start chatting up the other girls and you may be pleasantly surprised :)

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In my opinion, she is not making time for you. It might have been a lot of fun for both of you, but if she is not willing to take time to text you back leave her alone. Who knows she may come back around and text you when she is free. Distance is the best, no one wants someone to keep texting them if they haven't replied. It makes a guy look needy and you women typically want a confident guy. Where did you guys meet?

Don't let this bring down your confidence I have been on so many dates that I thought were so amazing and I was ghosted. On to the next one, don't waste your time and energy on someone who doesn't deserve it.

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In my opinion, she is not making time for you. It might have been a lot of fun for both of you, but if she is not willing to take time to text you back leave her alone. Who knows she may come back around and text you when she is free. Distance is the best, no one wants someone to keep texting them if they haven't replied. It makes a guy look needy and you women typically want a confident guy. Where did you guys meet?

Don't let this bring down your confidence I have been on so many dates that I thought were so amazing and I was ghosted. On to the next one, don't waste your time and energy on someone who doesn't deserve it.

 

you think suggesting another day/time would be better? I mean it would be customary to suggest an alternate date if you are unavailable, right?

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No do not suggest anything, just wait. It would be customary if you are texting on the reg. but for example, if it was me and I liked the guy, I would suggest another time I am available. Also since it seems like you do want to text her, wait a week since her workload is soooo heavy. Then ask about her week then suggest another time. See if you get a response first about how her week was etc.

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In my opinion, she is not making time for you. It might have been a lot of fun for both of you, but if she is not willing to take time to text you back leave her alone. Who knows she may come back around and text you when she is free. Distance is the best, no one wants someone to keep texting them if they haven't replied. It makes a guy look needy and you women typically want a confident guy. Where did you guys meet?

Don't let this bring down your confidence I have been on so many dates that I thought were so amazing and I was ghosted. On to the next one, don't waste your time and energy on someone who doesn't deserve it.

you think suggesting another day/time would be better? I mean it would be customary to suggest an alternate date if you are unavailable, right?

Where in the hell did you get from his post that he thinks you need to suggest another day!?

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you think suggesting another day/time would be better? I mean it would be customary to suggest an alternate date if you are unavailable, right?

 

Where in the hell did you get from his post that he thinks you need to suggest another day!?

 

I'm confused by your comment since that is exactly what he asked.

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I'm confused by your comment since that is exactly what he asked.

 

looking back at our texts, she hasn't been the best texter

 

I see no harm is proposing another date. If she wants to go she will, if not, quicker to move on!

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Ok I read your other post. Is it possible, that suggesting something that's HER thing, is trying too hard when you've only been out twice?

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looking back at our texts, she hasn't been the best texter

 

I see no harm is proposing another date. If she wants to go she will, if not, quicker to move on!

 

Yeah, propose a date idea to her tomorrow late afternoon, which would be perfect since how many people actually plan this ahead for weekend plans. I would start by asking her how her week has been. Good luck!!

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The problem with dating in today's world of instant text gratification is that people cannot be patient. Then, you throw in online dating profiles where men and women can juggle up to 10, 15, 20, 30 possibilities at a time. It's no wonder that there is any commitment level going on in today's world. I am 52 years old and frankly, you couldn't pay me to post another online profile anywhere. I got caught up in all this rubbish of "what does it mean when he texts this?" "If he doesn't text back right away, does it mean he isn't interested?" Good god Lemon! Dating is turning into a whole new level of neurosis and anxiety ridden disorders. And, those friggin emojis??? What does it mean if he sends the blowing kiss with a wink versus the kiss without a wink? People are having severe angst over a stupid emoji!

My advice to you avoforastig - just pick up the phone and call her. Ask her out to a movie, dinner, theater, music festival...whatever. If she says no, move on and if she says yes, then tell her you will follow up with details on the time, etc.

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The problem with dating in today's world of instant text gratification is that people cannot be patient. Then, you throw in online dating profiles where men and women can juggle up to 10, 15, 20, 30 possibilities at a time. It's no wonder that there is any commitment level going on in today's world. I am 52 years old and frankly, you couldn't pay me to post another online profile anywhere. I got caught up in all this rubbish of "what does it mean when he texts this?" "If he doesn't text back right away, does it mean he isn't interested?" Good god Lemon! Dating is turning into a whole new level of neurosis and anxiety ridden disorders. And, those friggin emojis??? What does it mean if he sends the blowing kiss with a wink versus the kiss without a wink? People are having severe angst over a stupid emoji!

My advice to you avoforastig - just pick up the phone and call her. Ask her out to a movie, dinner, theater, music festival...whatever. If she says no, move on and if she says yes, then tell her you will follow up with details on the time, etc.

 

Well said.

 

I’m 50 and even in 7th grade I had to have the courage to ask a girl, in person, to “go steady”. I couldn’t hide behind a text.

 

FYI, it only lasted two days once her parents found out. Haha But guess what, even in 7th grade she told me the bad news...over the phone.

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heavenonearth

I think she is no longer interested.

It happens.

 

I would move on and not contact her again.

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It's strange that she texted after the second date. It's been 24 hrs---so make other plans. Sorry!

 

This is very bad advice and without ANY thought.

 

Its ONLY been 24 hours. Given an average human need 8 hours sleep, and has working hours in their life.

 

I dsay leave the ball in her court. She`ll get back in touch if shes interested.

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The problem with dating in today's world of instant text gratification is that people cannot be patient. Then, you throw in online dating profiles where men and women can juggle up to 10, 15, 20, 30 possibilities at a time. It's no wonder that there is any commitment level going on in today's world. I am 52 years old and frankly, you couldn't pay me to post another online profile anywhere. I got caught up in all this rubbish of "what does it mean when he texts this?" "If he doesn't text back right away, does it mean he isn't interested?" Good god Lemon! Dating is turning into a whole new level of neurosis and anxiety ridden disorders. And, those friggin emojis??? What does it mean if he sends the blowing kiss with a wink versus the kiss without a wink? People are having severe angst over a stupid emoji!

My advice to you avoforastig - just pick up the phone and call her. Ask her out to a movie, dinner, theater, music festival...whatever. If she says no, move on and if she says yes, then tell her you will follow up with details on the time, etc.

 

Great advice! I also agree people want everything in one go. We`re just human. We make mistakes along the way nor do we always know what the other person wants.

 

Take a bit of time and dont give up too soon. She may be busy at work or have other commitments. If youre too pushy and needy. It can also drive the other person away.

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I sent her another message just to see how her workday went, we had been texting daily so I thought I'd give this possible ghoster a last try.

 

Ugh was that a bad idea?

 

No it was not a bad idea. Technology fails it's not perfect and when things have been unfolding smoothly and you don't get a response from a text you don't start assuming anything you just reach out again and see for yourself.

 

Now you have done that, you know she isn't dead and she is not ignoring you.

 

From here let her get back to you. It sounds like she lost a bit of interest over the weekend, maybe she went on a date with someone else and it clicked, who knows. Bottom line is you had 2 dates only so the hunting season is still open for someone else to catch her. Keep an open mind, make dates with other women, she may come around or she may not.

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