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Is he being rude?


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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:19 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by SevenCity View Post
Though he is causing an emotional reaction from the OP. Angry is better than bored when it comes to women I’ve seen.

ummm no...angry is not what you should aim for......with any woman...deb
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:20 AM   #17
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I think it is difficult for such "put down banter" to do well via text.
IRL it is all in the eyes, the smile, the body language, and it is easy to a quickly salvage the situation if it goes too far and gets obviously hurtful.
BY text he has no idea if she is feeling very amused or she is actually literally crying into her coffee as he touched a huge nerve.
Without the body language to tell her if he is being serious or not, she is left with a few nasty sounding one liners and that tends not to be attractive.

Of course he could just be a bitter, misogynistic, narcissistic guy who has got away with bring horrible to women on dating sites, because he is so good looking.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:23 AM   #18
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I feel like you are trying to read too much into a fair comment. Family law can be quite depressing as you are essentially dealing with and planning for the worst. There is also a lot of room for miscommunication when you are communicating via text. I think you should let it go and try to meet him in person for a quick drink or cup of coffee. Don't waste a lot of time texting.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:25 AM   #19
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Though he is causing an emotional reaction from the OP. Angry is better than bored when it comes to women I’ve seen.
If you think so... personally, I don't prefer either in the person that I'm seeing...
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:27 AM   #20
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Originally Posted by elaine567 View Post
I think it is difficult for such "put down banter" to do well via text.
IRL it is all in the eyes, the smile, the body language, and it is easy to a quickly salvage the situation if it goes too far and gets obviously hurtful.
BY text he has no idea if she is feeling very amused or she is actually literally crying into her coffee as he touched a huge nerve.
Without the body language to tell her if he is being serious or not, she is left with a few nasty sounding one liners and that tends not to be attractive.

Of course he could just be a bitter, misogynistic, narcissistic guy who has got away with bring horrible to women on dating sites, because he is so good looking.
Agreed. This kind of humor does not come across well by text and the best way to get to know someone in person. Which is why I would say, keep it going and give him a chance... hopefully, it's just a poor and nervous attempt to engage you.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:42 AM   #21
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Originally Posted by elaine567 View Post
I think it is difficult for such "put down banter" to do well via text.
IRL it is all in the eyes, the smile, the body language, and it is easy to a quickly salvage the situation if it goes too far and gets obviously hurtful.
BY text he has no idea if she is feeling very amused or she is actually literally crying into her coffee as he touched a huge nerve.
Without the body language to tell her if he is being serious or not, she is left with a few nasty sounding one liners and that tends not to be attractive.

Of course he could just be a bitter, misogynistic, narcissistic guy who has got away with bring horrible to women on dating sites, because he is so good looking.
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I feel like you are trying to read too much into a fair comment. Family law can be quite depressing as you are essentially dealing with and planning for the worst. There is also a lot of room for miscommunication when you are communicating via text. I think you should let it go and try to meet him in person for a quick drink or cup of coffee. Don't waste a lot of time texting.

Agreed. This is why I hate texting or chatting. It's next to impossible to read people via little snips of text. You have no context as you aren't missing information needed from their face and body language.

OP, I think you are over analyzing the deeper meaning into pieces of text that you are zoning in on. The guy might have no clue you are interpreting those texts the way that you are. To me, they seem like insignificant banter aimed at generating a laugh.

What you could do is voice your concerns to him via text and be upfront about how you feel. But then you risk exposing yourself and your insecurities. ;-)

Last edited by jjgitties; 2nd January 2018 at 9:53 AM..
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:54 AM   #22
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What I would do is lob a few mild hand grenades back in his direction, if he gets uppity, then he probably was trying to gain the upper hand and make you feel small, but if he takes it in good humour like it is all part of the game then meet him for coffee...
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Old 2nd January 2018, 10:20 AM   #23
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I think he's trying to be witty and funny. Obviously not working since you're not taking it that way. I could be wrong, but I don't think it's malicious. Just a "joke" gone wrong.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 11:07 AM   #24
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Agree. So you think they’re cheap shots as opposed to dry wit?
Agreed. I don't think he is really interested. He is attractive and he knows that, and this is just banter he finds amusing. It may be a joke gone wrong, but I don't think it sounded enthusiastic either way.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 11:15 AM   #25
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It could be a technique or trick to get you interested,, as Elaine said, but it could just be way he really acts due to arrogance.. It’s what PUA guys mimic. Maybe his personality is just blunt/Ill mannered and he doesn’t need to moderate or be polite because he care about the outcome of this. Women with lots of options and little manners do this all the time to guys they aren’t interested in. Either way, I’d be completely turned off. It is rude

Last edited by Cookiesandough; 2nd January 2018 at 11:25 AM..
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Old 2nd January 2018, 11:54 AM   #26
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It seems to me he is attempting to rib you a little. It is a little ironic, and there is some humor, in meeting someone on a dating app that happens to be in family law!
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Old 2nd January 2018, 12:09 PM   #27
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Did he say anything after that to keep the conversation going?Or did you have to pick up the ball.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 12:20 PM   #28
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Im guilty of this. I'm not an A-Hole, I'm not a PUA. I think of myself as a kind hearted person, but I do have a bit of a sarcastic personality. But its hard to cut through and grab a girls attention on a dating app when she has 500 guys texting her. So, I'm good at cracking jokes but I also throw in some compliments. It comes naturally and it shows I have a sense of humor, and a bit of confidence. I wouldnt do it nearly as much in person. He might not really be a jerk so dont count him out just yet. If a girl said "Are you always so disrespectful?" I would probably tone it down so she didnt feel uncomfortable. You can try and say that without making a big deal about it and see if he dials it down. But if he doesnt start asking you out, then he's not really interested

Last edited by SpinScratch; 2nd January 2018 at 12:21 PM.. Reason: Vulgarity
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Old 2nd January 2018, 12:53 PM   #29
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It seems to me he is attempting to rib you a little. It is a little ironic, and there is some humor, in meeting someone on a dating app that happens to be in family law!
I thought his comment about "divorce and heartbreak" was an attempt to point out the irony of the situation as well, since most people on dating sites and apps are divorced and brokenhearted to begin with.
The other one was a little bit annoying, but I'd talk a little longer to find out if he tends to give backhanded compliments like that
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Old 2nd January 2018, 12:58 PM   #30
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I thought his comment about "divorce and heartbreak" was an attempt to point out the irony of the situation as well, since most people on dating sites and apps are divorced and brokenhearted to begin with.
The other one was a little bit annoying, but I'd talk a little longer to find out if he tends to give backhanded compliments like that

Lorenza, correct me if I am wrong, but isn’t pouting in a selfie when a woman puckers her lips together to look more sexy? That’s how I have seen the term used.
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