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Losing interest or is she just comfortable with me? Bad gut feeling!


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

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Old 2nd January 2018, 8:52 PM   #31
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You need to think more positively.

I totally get where you are coming from! I am just like you in these instances. I get super anxious and worry and think of the worst things to happen, but in the end, everything is always fine.

It's all wasted energy! You should be enjoying yourself and her company.

I also think you should wait with the keyring for date 6 or 7!

x
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:28 PM   #32
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Originally Posted by heavenonearth View Post
You need to think more positively.

I totally get where you are coming from! I am just like you in these instances. I get super anxious and worry and think of the worst things to happen, but in the end, everything is always fine.

It's all wasted energy! You should be enjoying yourself and her company.

I also think you should wait with the keyring for date 6 or 7!

x
Okay so not keyring at all until 3 or so dates later? It's her birthday 3 hours after the show starts, so I figured it would be a nice gesture, but then I don't want to come on too strong with a gift.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:31 PM   #33
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I agree with Heaven...last time someone here gave a girl a harry potter keyring within the first 4 dates...it didn't work out.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:32 PM   #34
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Oh dear!

She's GETTING HER HAIR DONE for your date! She's warning you about a cold sore 1) so you won't be shocked if it's in full bloom when you see her, or 2) so you can bail on HER if you're inclined to be embarrassed about being seen with such a hideous thing.

Your text exchanges with her have been really cute. I'm thinking there's something to what cookie says about self fulfilling prophecies. You need to slow down your overthinking, and enjoy the moments as they come. Chill out!
When I mentioned she'd still look stunning if she didn't go, she told me it was a "birthday treat" so I don't think she's doing it for just our date, she'd have had it done regardless, but I suppose it helps to look nice. I know I like to get my hair cut before a date. She also rejected the compliment and was like "Urghh, I look awful", etc.

Nah a cold sore isn't a problem, it doesn't change my perspective of someone. My only problem is kissing her. I've had a cold sore before so I know I have the virus and research suggests 85% of people have it anyway.

Thanks for your advice! At least you think the conversations are nice, so that's promising
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:39 PM   #35
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I agree with Heaven...last time someone here gave a girl a harry potter keyring within the first 4 dates...it didn't work out.
Funny you say that, I'm 100% this was me I asked in one of my threads about 9-10 months ago about whether I should get the girl one. I never got around to giving it to her by the way. We had a couple of dates and I bought it in preparation for the third date, but she flaked and stopped things. She had no idea I was giving her this keyring, so OP might be okay.

It's whether you, as a female, think something as small as a keyring would be too much, too soon. I think it's safer to not gift her anything, but if it's her birthday then surely an ocassion like that warrants a little something.. If it was any other time (aside from Christmas) then I'd say no!
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:43 PM   #36
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Okay so not keyring at all until 3 or so dates later? It's her birthday 3 hours after the show starts, so I figured it would be a nice gesture, but then I don't want to come on too strong with a gift.
I know, but you are already taking her out and paying for everything, that's sweet enough. You are still almost strangers!!

If things work out and you continue to date, you can still give her the keychain a few dates down the line! Just to be safe, tho, I wouldn't overdo it this time.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:44 PM   #37
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I'll avoid it for now and listen to Heaven. If it gets to date 6 or 7 I'll give it her as a little gift but for now considering the situation of doubt of her interest level in me, it might make me appear a bit keen or look like I'm chasing. Maybe when I'm certain/confident in her interest I will.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:45 PM   #38
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It may be too soon for extravagant gifts. Gifts you are not ready to reciprocate make you feel uncomfortable type of obligation you don't want.
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"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:47 PM   #39
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I don't really have an opinion about a Harry Potter keychain per se since I've never read the books/seen the movies, but I really don't think it's overstepping or too soon to give her a little gift like this....on her birthday. I think it would be nice, actually. It's not a tennis bracelet!
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:49 PM   #40
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It may be too soon for extravagant gifts. Gifts you are not ready to reciprocate make you feel uncomfortable type of obligation you don't want.
Is a Harry Potter keychain an extravagant gift??
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:50 PM   #41
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I don't really have an opinion about a Harry Potter keychain per se since I've never read the books/seen the movies, but I really don't think it's overstepping or too soon to give her a little gift like this....on her birthday. I think it would be nice, actually. It's not a tennis bracelet!

The only reason I suggested he should not give her the key chain yet, is because he seemed a bit hesitant in the first place, and thought maybe he is already a bit more 'in it' than she is. In this case, stepping back a bit and let her make a move would maybe be the better option.

And again, since they are almost strangers (they met twice so far!), I don't think she will be 'mad' if he does not give her a materialistic gift for her birthday. Also, if all goes well, he can still change his mind at the very end of the date.

Either way, I have this idea that giving presents only works if you give it to a total stranger or to someone you already have established some sort of relationship with. If you are just meeting someone and in bewteen, sort of getting to know each other very early on, a present can be too intimidating, create expectations on either side, etc...

x
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:54 PM   #42
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Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
I don't really have an opinion about a Harry Potter keychain per se since I've never read the books/seen the movies, but I really don't think it's overstepping or too soon to give her a little gift like this....on her birthday. I think it would be nice, actually. It's not a tennis bracelet!
This is the keyring I planned to get her

I wouldn't have done this on any other date or with any other girl, but considering her birthday is 3 hours after the show starts I figured it'd be a nice gesture. Plus if anything was to happen, like we stopped seeing each other, it'd be a nice reminder of the good things we did like our dates/conversations, should she keep it.
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:56 PM   #43
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Originally Posted by heavenonearth View Post
The only reason I suggested he should not give her the key chain yet, is because he seemed a bit hesitant in the first place, and thought maybe he is already a bit more 'in it' than she is. In this case, stepping back a bit and let her make a move would maybe be the better option.

And again, since they are almost strangers (they met twice so far!), I don't think she will be 'mad' if he does not give her a materialistic gift for her birthday. Also, if all goes well, he can still change his mind at the very end of the date.

Either way, I have this idea that giving presents only works if you give it to a total stranger or to someone you already have established some sort of relationship with. If you are just meeting someone and in bewteen, sort of getting to know each other very early on, a present can be too intimidating, create expectations on either side, etc...

x
Hmm, well I'm happy and unoffended to agree to disagree on this .
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:57 PM   #44
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Originally Posted by Assassino View Post
This is the keyring I planned to get her

I wouldn't have done this on any other date or with any other girl, but considering her birthday is 3 hours after the show starts I figured it'd be a nice gesture. Plus if anything was to happen, like we stopped seeing each other, it'd be a nice reminder of the good things we did like our dates/conversations, should she keep it.
Can't see the link, but my opinion stands that I think it's cute and doesn't scream, "WE ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP NOW!"
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Old 2nd January 2018, 9:58 PM   #45
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Originally Posted by heavenonearth View Post
The only reason I suggested he should not give her the key chain yet, is because he seemed a bit hesitant in the first place, and thought maybe he is already a bit more 'in it' than she is. In this case, stepping back a bit and let her make a move would maybe be the better option.

And again, since they are almost strangers (they met twice so far!), I don't think she will be 'mad' if he does not give her a materialistic gift for her birthday. Also, if all goes well, he can still change his mind at the very end of the date.

Either way, I have this idea that giving presents only works if you give it to a total stranger or to someone you already have established some sort of relationship with. If you are just meeting someone and in bewteen, sort of getting to know each other very early on, a present can be too intimidating, create expectations on either side, etc...

x
I was very confident last week about the idea of giving her this keyring, but now I'm a little 50/50 considering that I feel something has changed, whether it's something in her life or she's losing interest.

Maybe I could just buy it and keep it handy, so if she gives me good indicators of interest which make me feel confident then I will. If not, then I wouldn't mind keeping it myself.. So not a waste of money.

We've met three times so far. This Saturday will be our 4th date, whether that changes anything.

I'll have a think about it. I'll buy it and keep it on my keyring for now. Best I wait until Saturday to judge it.
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