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I need help with my girlfriend, I’m freaking out!?


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

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Old 1st January 2018, 4:15 PM   #61
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You did nothing wrong offering what she could, but you're also not seeing how it was still pressure on her end. And you offered to go there.....for how long?
I understand it could pressure her on her end but tb thatís very petty in the grand scheme of things. She knew it was only coming out love and I didnít mean it that way. I even said a very long apology for anything that made her feel worse and I stopped it! Again she ďthoughtĒ about it and felt the same. I donít know why sheís so hard up on it now but Iím not forcing it anymore... I know for a fact she will miss me and contact me. And I was going to go for 1-3 weeks I was going to buy a one way and then a one way back because I didnít know how long. But she said she wanted to be ďaloneĒ with this .. I offered what I could I donít know what else
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Old 1st January 2018, 4:16 PM   #62
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You’re right that’s how I feel right now and I’m glad someone understands my view. Because I wanted to be there for her more than anything. I offered to fly there and be there with her not thinking of my self but to go because I love her and I wanted to take care of her... I’m just confused right now how this happened and why she did it like this.. I didn’t abuse her I didn’t do anything? Maybe a little annoying if you want to put it that way but everyone has those issues.. she always told me never let me go you promise you will be here etc I stuck to my promises because I love her and I’m still there’s for her even now but I won’t do any Contact till she does because I can guarantee she will be back
I was just to good and she knows it. Not to say anything it is hard to find people like me...
That sounds a little biased, but going back through your threads, it seems like your gf has been checking out for awhile. Perhaps fred123 is correct that she's been looking for a reason to get out of it. Regardless, the best thing to do is back off right now. It may be beyond repair. It sucks to hear and say, but the reality is that chivalry alone is simply not enough for to garner and keep attraction and make someone want to be with you and stay with you. I wish it was.
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Old 1st January 2018, 4:19 PM   #63
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I understand it could pressure her on her end but tb thatís very petty in the grand scheme of things. She knew it was only coming out love and I didnít mean it that way. I even said a very long apology for anything that made her feel worse and I stopped it! Again she ďthoughtĒ about it and felt the same. I donít know why sheís so hard up on it now but Iím not forcing it anymore... I know for a fact she will miss me and contact me. And I was going to go for 1-3 weeks I was going to buy a one way and then a one way back because I didnít know how long. But she said she wanted to be ďaloneĒ with this .. I offered what I could I donít know what else
OK, well if you know for a fact she'll contact you, just wait it out until she comes to her senses I guess.

For the record, she's not being petty.
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Old 1st January 2018, 4:27 PM   #64
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That sounds a little biased, but going back through your threads, it seems like your gf has been checking out for awhile. Perhaps fred123 is correct that she's been looking for a reason to get out of it. Regardless, the best thing to do is back off right now. It may be beyond repair. It sucks to hear and say, but the reality is that chivalry alone is simply not enough for to garner and keep attraction and make someone want to be with you and stay with you. I wish it was.
I know I understand it may be beyond repair, but I will back off for now until she contacts me. Because till this day I still donít know why she wants to end this because it was a good bond she even said to me I never want to let you go, we are meant to be it was a blessing that we met.. and now this
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Old 1st January 2018, 4:29 PM   #65
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OK, well if you know for a fact she'll contact you, just wait it out until she comes to her senses I guess.

For the record, she's not being petty.
I feel she will. I just honestly feel she is just beyond frustrated and just telling me all this out of guilt and being frustrated with everything.. thatís what I think.. and yes she is because people abuse there girlfriends and swear etc I never did anything I didnít know by giving what I can is too much..
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Old 1st January 2018, 4:45 PM   #66
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Something probably happened during that "talk" a week ago. Who wanted to have the talk? Did you ever show annoyance at a slow text response? Did you ever mention anything to her about her being different from before? My guess is you did react (as it's normal) when it seemed like she's pulling away for whatever reason.
I think when she mentioned being friends, you should have agreed. What does "friend" mean at this time? It means someone who's there for her but makes no emotional demands. You didn't listen, you said no. You could have countered with "take a break". You are not a negotiator, so her only choices are: all or nothing. She chose nothing.
People dating will tell you to protect yourself from hurt. Never be a friend, she'll find someone else, don't be used, she's playing you, etc. But you're past that dating stage. You're already all in, what have you left to protect? you will be hurt (are hurting) already. You seem very passionate but not a very good listener. This is sometimes the flipside of the confident guy. You're too much!
What to do now? Stay away. If she contacts you, be happy and don't be afraid to show it. More positive, happy, energy is needed. Less reproach, blame, stress. If all goes well, you'll be using that ticket in February.
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Old 1st January 2018, 4:45 PM   #67
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I feel she will. I just honestly feel she is just beyond frustrated and just telling me all this out of guilt and being frustrated with everything.. thatís what I think.. and yes she is because people abuse there girlfriends and swear etc I never did anything I didnít know by giving what I can is too much..
What is your definition of "petty?" Petty would be her breaking up with you because you drive a Honda instead of a Mercedes. Or not liking the way you pronounce "potato." Telling you she can't invest emotionally right now and has too much on her plate is not at all "petty." She is not nit-picking. You may not understand it and not want to believe it, though. It seems like you're now getting a bit angry at her for ending it because you don't think it's a valid enough reason. People profess their love and tell people they don't ever want to let them go all the time and still break up. Feelings and circumstances sometimes change and there are very few breakups that occur without at least one person in the couple getting hurt .
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Old 1st January 2018, 4:50 PM   #68
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For some reason I thought this was a long term thing but I find out you have only been dating/LDR for not even 4 months, 3 months you said on the 18th December.
Is that correct?

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Old 1st January 2018, 4:52 PM   #69
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This - and her reasons are not petty at all.

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It seems you have a habit of smothering girlfriends.
I've been on the receiving end of that kind of behaviour and it's completely exhausting and a heck of a lot of pressure to put on a partner.

Get some therapy, get some help to stop you behaving this way. It kills attraction and results in the very thing that you don't want to happen.

You need to figure this out and learn to control your emotions and behaviour - please take a break from dating and sort these issues out first.
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Old 1st January 2018, 5:05 PM   #70
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For some reason I thought this was a long term thing but I find out you have only been dating/LDR for not even 4 months, 3 months you said on the 18th December.
Is that correct?

Itís been 5 months but everything moved fairly very well until her birthday and she went out with her friends and got very drunk and for some reason after November 25 things weíre going down hill in terms of communication and everything... but anyway we had plans and weíre serious about each other because she said it too.. but I guess itís probably over according to her message.. because I didnít even hear Happy new years from her today nor did I send anything
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Old 1st January 2018, 5:09 PM   #71
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But in this thread you say you are dating over a year. Was that just a mistake or is this another LD GF? Sorry we are web sleuths here just trying to understand the backstory to get the full pic
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Old 1st January 2018, 5:09 PM   #72
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Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
What is your definition of "petty?" Petty would be her breaking up with you because you drive a Honda instead of a Mercedes. Or not liking the way you pronounce "potato." Telling you she can't invest emotionally right now and has too much on her plate is not at all "petty." She is not nit-picking. You may not understand it and not want to believe it, though. It seems like you're now getting a bit angry at her for ending it because you don't think it's a valid enough reason. People profess their love and tell people they don't ever want to let them go all the time and still break up. Feelings and circumstances sometimes change and there are very few breakups that occur without at least one person in the couple getting hurt .
Iím not getting angry itís the point how everything boiled Down for really a reason that was fixable there was far more serious issues people have work each other and they stick it out.. I thought we had a strong bond..
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Old 1st January 2018, 5:13 PM   #73
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Itís been 5 months but everything moved fairly very well until her birthday and she went out with her friends and got very drunk and for some reason after November 25 things weíre going down hill in terms of communication and everything... but anyway we had plans and weíre serious about each other because she said it too.. but I guess itís probably over according to her message.. because I didnít even hear Happy new years from her today nor did I send anything
OK, well with this new information, I think she might be using her life situation as an excuse and actually has just started to lose feelings for you, despite her declarations of love.
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Old 1st January 2018, 5:16 PM   #74
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oops I misread. You were supposed to be ld for 1 more year.
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Old 1st January 2018, 5:20 PM   #75
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But in this thread you say you are dating over a year. Was that just a mistake or is this another LD GF? Sorry we are web sleuths here just trying to understand the backstory to get the full pic
No Iím sorry itís been 5 months that may have been my Ex before... she wasnít LD. Only reason why I did it this time is because we when saw each other on vacation and the way we clicked I decided to do it.. now I love her more than anything... I honestly canít bare a day without communication with her... i hope she comes around to her senses...
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