hamsterhouse Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 (edited) Over the past month I've been on a couple dates with a girl whom I really like. We have great chemistry, which is awesome because I've been on a lot of dates this year and didn't really connect with anyone. Recently though, I found out that she's friends with my long-term ex-GF from about 10 years ago. Normally it wouldn't matter, but our relationship ended very badly. I have nothing against her at all but I don't want to see her again, and as far I as I know she still hates the ground I walk on. Since breaking up we've run into each other twice. It was very awkward. No words were exchanged. I have no idea the extent of their friendship (I only saw them in a smiley photo together), but it's safe to say that if my ex finds out that she's seeing me, she wouldn't have anything pleasant to say. Ten years is a long time, but I could easily see her getting in the way of developing a relationship with this new girl. We have another date scheduled for next weekend, but I guess I'm trying to decide if I should continue seeing her and let things play out naturally, or do I cut my losses and pull the plug early on to prevent any stress down the road? Have you been in a similar situation? Thanks and Happy New Year! Edited January 1, 2018 by hamsterhouse Link to post Share on other sites
bummer Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 Ending it early for the off chance your 10-yr ago ex will bitterly disparage you seems a tad paranoid, no? Even if the ex did lay down the negative news, your new girl can choose how she interprets and reacts to it. I would say let it ride, worry less, and be nice more. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 Ending it early for the off chance your 10-yr ago ex will bitterly disparage you seems a tad paranoid, no? Even if the ex did lay down the negative news, your new girl can choose how she interprets and reacts to it. I would say let it ride, worry less, and be nice more. Agreed. Especially if the connection you have had been that rare. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 Ending it early for the off chance your 10-yr ago ex will bitterly disparage you seems a tad paranoid, no? Even if the ex did lay down the negative news, your new girl can choose how she interprets and reacts to it. I would say let it ride, worry less, and be nice more. I agree with this. I would just find a way to pre-empt it and tell your new girl that you found out she was friends your ex and that things didn't end the best between you two and that 10 years was long time ago and say that you really like her (the new one). Ok my wording sucks now (NYE aftermath!) but basically you want to tell her or indicate that she may hear negative things about you from this person but by saying it was 10 years ago it will imply that you grew up and something WITHOUT going into details at all that indicates you and the ex were incompatible and didn't handle the end the best and there may be resentment but that you don't want it to affect things with her, because you really like her. I definitely would not let your ex bring that news to her. When and if she tries to disparage you, but you have already talked to the new girl about it, she will feel free to make her own opinion. And because you've handled it well, you will gain some points in the process. IMO Link to post Share on other sites
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