How do I find true love?

[desperateguy]

Let’s say, I’m one of those desperate guys who’ve been looking for true love.

 

Yes, it’s really hard to find.

 

I looked at some from the internet, but to no luck, I always end up failing.

 

I took advice from my acquaintances, but the same result. It seems like nobody likes me at all.

 

Then I delved into online dating. I tried some legit sites, signed up and even subscribed for premium usage of their service.

 

But I failed. Scammers are everywhere. I’m losing hope already, not until I came to A Foreign Affair.

 

It’s much more than online dating.

 

This is a site for men like me, I guess. I continue browsing through women profiles.

 

Man, they are so gorgeous! Too many to choose! They are all attractive!

 

After research through those testimonials by men, I found myself signing up.

 

I know this might be risky, I tried this before with other sites. What do you think guys?

 

Should I continue with the service? Will I find true love here?

 

I’m afraid I might fail again with this. I need your advices and thoughts.

[basil67]

What do I think? Sounds like another of the scams you've found.

 

Testimonials mean nothing in this day and age. How much did you pay for it?

[gaius]

Probably not. Even your username here is deliberately unattractive. You push women away subconsciously. So you're not going to find true love no matter how many sites you sign up for until you figure out yourself and what it is you really want.

 

If you were really a desperate guy you'd be online lying about how you've turned down beautiful women or some other nonsense to try and make your unattractive self seem attractive. That I see on a regular basis.

[d0nnivain]

Is this a real Q or are you some kind of ad for AFA?

 

I always thought that those mail order bride things were all about women who wanted green cards. I doubt you will find true love.

 

Work on yourself. Upgrade your wardrobe. Polish your social skills & stay off the internet. You are much more likely to find true love doing something in real life that you are passionate about.

[Maggie4]

You think gorgeous women means true love? Does that mean you haven't found what you call "true love" because you are too picky (she must be gorgeous), but the gorgeous women reject you?

[she'stheone]

Let’s say, I’m one of those desperate guys who’ve been looking for true love.

 

Hi desperateguy,

 

Here's the thing, you don't just go out and FIND true love. It has nothing to do with the dating site you're on or if you meet someone in real life (as non online dating is sometimes called)

 

True love will never be found, until you love yourself. Your screen name (desperateguy) is a clear indication, that you in fact do NOT love yourself.

 

I am in a relationship right now with the love of my life, my soulmate. I only found her after I learned to loved and forgive myself, without the need for someone else to love me.

 

Most of us have trouble forgiving others because we can't forgive ourselves. We think "If I don't deserve forgiveness then he/she shore as **** doesn't".

 

This takes a lot of self work, personal and spiritual development. I have done 1,000's of hours of this type of work and I still do. Spiritual and personal development are lifetime endeavors.

 

When we are lonely and feeling unloved, we typically look outside ourselves, to a romantic partner to fill the void.

 

We forget we have family and friends that love us. When we learn to love ourselves unconditionally and release all the attachments to NEEDING a romantic partner to love us, that is when you allow love to FIND YOU.

 

Sending you much love and light

[Nilfiry]

Just because you look does not mean that you will find, and just because you wait does not mean that it will come.

 

All you can really do is to relax and live you life in such a way that allows for it to happen. That just means do not hide out in one place all day. Go out and enjoy yourself when you have free time, and you may run into some chance encounter. Who knows?

[heartbrokenlady]

If you're prepared to buy a wife and support her, plus her family, for the rest of your life, why not go for it.

 

These sites seem to mainly attract old men who can't get a woman any other way, other than to buy one.

 

I would be entirely sceptical if I hadn't know one of these brides when I lived in the US. She was lovely. She was working 2 jobs so she could build a house back in her own country. She planned to leave her husband because he'd had an affair.

 

This buying a spouse seems to be something only men are prepared to do. I wonder why?

[she'stheone]

This buying a spouse seems to be something only men are prepared to do. I wonder why?

 

Hi Heartbrokenlady,

 

We men have a huge problem dealing with and facing our emotions much less being able to communicate them with someone.

 

My guess is, by buying a wife, these men get to avoid having to deal with their emotions as the have purchased a thing and that thing, as their property, needs to do what they are told.

 

Now, these men, believe they can simply continue living their lives exactly as before and have all the benefits of a spouse without any of the drawbacks.

 

Most of, if not all of these men are in tremendous pain and have no idea how to get out of it. So they take the path of least resistance and "buy" a relationship/companionship to fill the void.

 

Until they face and release their pain, they will continue to suffer and feel alone.

 

Love and light

[heartbrokenlady]

My guess is, by buying a wife, these men get to avoid having to deal with their emotions as the have purchased a thing and that thing, as their property, needs to do what they are told.

 

Now, these men, believe they can simply continue living their lives exactly as before and have all the benefits of a spouse without any of the drawbacks

 

 

Those may be their intentions, but my friend, and the 2 other mail order brides I've met, do not seem to be pushovers. They have expectations.

 

My friends expectation was fidelity. The other 2 women (1 is the wife of my son in laws father, the other is a neighbour of my mother) require financial support for themselves and their families back home.

 

 

I guess the female equivalent would be western women marrying much younger Turkish or other eastern or African men. Doesn't happen much.

[she'stheone]

Those may be their intentions, but my friend, and the 2 other mail order brides I've met, do not seem to be pushovers. They have expectations.

 

My friends expectation was fidelity. The other 2 women (1 is the wife of my son in laws father, the other is a neighbour of my mother) require financial support for themselves and their families back home.

 

You asked why they do it. Not if it was smart.

 

Again, think about the mindset of "buying" a bride. They probably never even consider the wants, needs, desires or thoughts of the woman they are purchasing.

 

love and light