Black Cement Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 I saw her on tinder, she seemed cool, so I added her on IG. She followed me back and it looks like we have a lot in common. I thought about messaging her but realized she's a lesbian, and might not be into me. She was on tinder and it didn't what she was looking for. How should I proceed? Hope she's bi! Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted December 18, 2017 Share Posted December 18, 2017 Ask her first. Based upon her answer, ask her out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Black Cement Posted December 19, 2017 Author Share Posted December 19, 2017 Well I guess I should just ask her huh. But that's kinda rude? Maybe I should just be friendly first. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 These posts always amuse me... "She's a lesbian, but how can I change her mind. Or at least, live out my fantasy with a woman who is bi." My friend, more than likely you can't change her mind. You should really move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 I really wouldn't go there. First, sexuality for women is different than it is for men, to be sure. At least 85% of women who consider themselves to be gay have been with at least one man at some point in their lives, while less than 20% of men who consider themselves to be gay can say the same. This was before we coined terms like "gender fluidity" and whatnot. But I digress ... Since you want to at least know if she is gay or bi or whatever else, you can ask. You did meet/match on Tinder after all so she's looking for something. If she responds with something wishy washy ("I don't know", "Whatever feels right", etc.), or if she responds with a flat out "no", you have your answer - which is not you. If she says she would like to at least meet you because she wants to meet you, then that's a more positive step. Personally, I would not go there. You are setting yourself up for a disappointment. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted December 19, 2017 Share Posted December 19, 2017 (edited) I really wouldn't go there. First, sexuality for women is different than it is for men, to be sure. At least 85% of women who consider themselves to be gay have been with at least one man at some point in their lives, while less than 20% of men who consider themselves to be gay can say the same. This was before we coined terms like "gender fluidity" and whatnot. But I digress ... Since you want to at least know if she is gay or bi or whatever else, you can ask. You did meet/match on Tinder after all so she's looking for something. If she responds with something wishy washy ("I don't know", "Whatever feels right", etc.), or if she responds with a flat out "no", you have your answer - which is not you. If she says she would like to at least meet you because she wants to meet you, then that's a more positive step. Personally, I would not go there. You are setting yourself up for a disappointment. If you look at the Kinsey scale which ranks 0-6 most men rank 0 being exclusively heterosexual while most women rank 1,2,and 3. Roughly 15% of men rank 6 being exclusively homosexual but very few women rank past 4. In short women mostly rank in the middle while men rank the extreme all homosexual or all heterosexual. I would ask her out and make your intentions known. Otherwise you run the risk of being friendzoned or stuck in an awkward situation where you've become really good friends and scared to confess your real feelings Edited December 19, 2017 by DKT3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Black Cement Posted December 19, 2017 Author Share Posted December 19, 2017 Has anyone seen Chasing Amy?!?!? Link to post Share on other sites
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