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Dating guy a Muslim guy


Taryanoriley

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I am polish/Christian and he is Turkish/Muslim. He is not religious just believes in god but his parents are. The problem is he is hiding our relationship and I’m taking it personally. He hasn’t told his parents or anyone about me but he loves me, he is telling me he told them but I know he doesn’t. Is he hiding me because I am not Muslim? :(((

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So....

 

He hides you from his family.

He lies about skipping college class / where he is

He has a gaming addiction

He has talked about marriage because he needs a green card.

He turn things around on you any time you question him.

 

Please tell us the good things about him and why you are with him.

 

Have you told your parents about him?

 

And the honest truth? Religion and family is often a huge barrier to making these things work.

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I am polish/Christian and he is Turkish/Muslim. He is not religious just believes in god but his parents are. The problem is he is hiding our relationship and I’m taking it personally. He hasn’t told his parents or anyone about me but he loves me, he is telling me he told them but I know he doesn’t. Is he hiding me because I am not Muslim? :(((

 

Yes. He knows that his family will not support this relationship and he is not ready to go at alone, w/o his family, that is. Such relationships with such diverging cultures and beliefs are SO difficult to maintain unless both are non-religious AND independent from the social/religious norms supported by the family.

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Yes. He knows that his family will not support this relationship and he is not ready to go at alone, w/o his family, that is. Such relationships with such diverging cultures and beliefs are SO difficult to maintain unless both are non-religious AND independent from the social/religious norms supported by the family.

 

So even if we truly love each other, it won’t work ?:(

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So even if we truly love each other, it won’t work ?:(

 

I truly don't believe it will. Think about this as well....

 

Why would your Muslim bf find it okay to date you knowing that the chances that this relationship flourishes is impossible? I have to wonder whether he is AS in love as you are with him. I wonder if he is quite aware from the start that this type of relationship would not work...sorry, but can't help thinking along those terms.

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Fleur de cactus

Hi, I think it is not easy to know what your bf is thinking. It does not sound good since he hides your relationship. However, don’t get discouraged. I know a couple that was in a similar situation. The bf was afraid of his father who paid for his school fees. It took them long time to intruduce the gf to his family. Finally they are married and have kids together. What is important is to be open. Let him know that he does not have to tell you lies. With mutual trust , you can figure out what is best for you.

All the best.

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Yes, I do believe he is hiding you because you are not Muslim.

 

I was in a similar situation but as a same sex couple. My ex's family is Muslim and she was no longer religious. She told me from the beginning that she didn't care what her family thought and that she was very much in love with me. A little after a year into our relationship she told her most open-minded cousin about me. The cousin promptly told her to dump me or she'd get kicked out of the family. I got my heart broken within a week of her cousin finding out about us.

 

Unless he is truly willing to lose his family for love, I think you'll remain a secrete for a while until he feels more comfortable or decides to please his family. Not to be a downer but just want to give you some perspective. (Watch the movie called the Big Sick for more understanding)

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So....

 

He hides you from his family.

He lies about skipping college class / where he is

He has a gaming addiction

He has talked about marriage because he needs a green card.

He turn things around on you any time you question him.

 

Please tell us the good things about him and why you are with him.

 

Have you told your parents about him?

 

And the honest truth? Religion and family is often a huge barrier to making these things work.

 

So even if we truly love each other, it won’t work ?:(

 

The question is, are you willing to put up with all this (for possibly the rest of your life) because you're in love with him? You may find it will get old very quickly.

 

Another question (slightly brutal) - are you sure he is as in love with you as you say he is? His actions don't seem to suggest that.

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Swedishfishy,

I saw your scenario play out so many times when i was at Uni.

 

There were girls I knew who dated foreign students who were training to be Doctors. They all thought they would eventually have the status of marrying a doctor and living abroad in some exotic country in a mansion where the sun always shone and they'd have servants etc.:rolleyes:

 

Wrong.

 

As soon as these guys finished their training they went back abroad to marry some "nice girl" from their own culture.They just used the English girls as a "comfort facility" while they were here and their families knew nothing about it.

 

Tread warily.....

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So even if we truly love each other, it won’t work ?:(

 

If you truly loved each other you could make it work, but there is nothing that you have posted about him that indicates he loves you. You may love him...but its not enough.

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Hi Swedishfishy,

 

As far as i know dating or in relationship with muslim is Haram or not allowed for them and I also think that he never mentioned you to his family. But remember if you love him and he loves, even if his muslim you will be together.

Thanks

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Swedishfishy,

I saw your scenario play out so many times when i was at Uni.

 

There were girls I knew who dated foreign students who were training to be Doctors. They all thought they would eventually have the status of marrying a doctor and living abroad in some exotic country in a mansion where the sun always shone and they'd have servants etc.:rolleyes:

 

Wrong.

 

As soon as these guys finished their training they went back abroad to marry some "nice girl" from their own culture.They just used the English girls as a "comfort facility" while they were here and their families knew nothing about it.

 

Tread warily.....

I've seen this too

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