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Getting tired of my sh*t?


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Old 14th December 2017, 3:59 AM   #1
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Getting tired of my sh*t?

Hello everyone!
This is my situation summed up: met a girl, been on 5dates already(keep in mind we are above avarage religious, we take things slower) yesterday she said via text after date that she thinks we are stuck at a point("we didnt get closer to eachother like we did on previous dates"). It is true, that I went on the dates with the intention to get to know her, but not to get involved on a more serious level...yet. This is because next week she will go home(200km from me) for Christmas, after that we both have exams which needs almost full atention(we both attend medical school). She is a girl i am really interested in, but met her with a very bad timing. We will go out one last time before she goes home for the holyday, exchange presents and have a deep talk. This is when I would like to clarify my intentions to her, but I am not sure exactly what to say because I feel like if I say "not now, lets try it again this february", it would ruin the thing, but if I confess deep interest, that would hurt our focus and concentration from the exams.
By the way sorry if I overcomplicated sentences here-there, I am from europe, english is like a 3rd language here. Thanks in advance for any tips
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Old 14th December 2017, 4:20 AM   #2
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Honesty is the best policy in this case I think. Keeping her close may make exams more difficult, OR letting her go could do the same thing, it really all depends on what you want. I certainly think you're being smart thinking about the future and the important things coming up, and how they'll correlate with a new relationship. Keep us updated here!
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Old 14th December 2017, 5:36 AM   #3
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Just tell her you're interested in seeing her more and having a potential relationship with her, but that you have to dedicate a lot of time to exams this month. That you're looking forward to getting to know her/explore things deeper when she comes back from holiday and you've enjoyed your time with her thus far. Shouldn't be too hard. A woman truly interested in you would understand.
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Old 14th December 2017, 7:02 AM   #4
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You're both in med school, so she will fully understand and will be equally as busy. I think you should just talk about how you really want to continue and know it will be super busy the next few weeks. Maybe discuss a way to meet a couple times a week, even if it's just for an hour. I mean, you both gotta eat, right, and you should take a little time to relax. You'll both need to put in a little effort to make the time, I'm sure, but you obviously don't have a lot to work with. It will do a lot of good to assure her what your intentions are with this. She's expressed a little reservation on where you two are going, so I think it would be good to offer some assurance.
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Old 14th December 2017, 8:57 AM   #5
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Can you squeeze in a short date before you both leave for home? Tell her some of what you have told us: the timing is bad & you both had to concentrate on exams. Wish her a Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year. Tell her that you are looking forward to seeing her when school is back in session & you will have a little more time to concentrate on each other rather than your studies. Get her a small present (I'm thinking candy bar or some chocolate covered strawberries if you want to get "fancy") & a nice card. Part on an optimistic, upbeat note with some sort of communications plan while you are both home. If there is a possibility you can meet in the middle for New Years' Eve, set up a date.
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Old 14th December 2017, 10:39 AM   #6
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So basically a golden middle route Thank you very much for the replies!
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Old 14th December 2017, 11:28 AM   #7
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I think itís funny and cute that youíll be unable to concentrate on exams if you kiss her.
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Old 14th December 2017, 12:28 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by caenlaes View Post
Hello everyone!
This is my situation summed up: met a girl, been on 5dates already(keep in mind we are above avarage religious, we take things slower) yesterday she said via text after date that she thinks we are stuck at a point("we didnt get closer to eachother like we did on previous dates"). It is true, that I went on the dates with the intention to get to know her, but not to get involved on a more serious level...yet. This is because next week she will go home(200km from me) for Christmas, after that we both have exams which needs almost full atention(we both attend medical school). She is a girl i am really interested in, but met her with a very bad timing. We will go out one last time before she goes home for the holyday, exchange presents and have a deep talk. This is when I would like to clarify my intentions to her, but I am not sure exactly what to say because I feel like if I say "not now, lets try it again this february", it would ruin the thing, but if I confess deep interest, that would hurt our focus and concentration from the exams.
By the way sorry if I overcomplicated sentences here-there, I am from europe, english is like a 3rd language here. Thanks in advance for any tips
What does 'closer' mean to her?

When do these tests take place? In January?

I wouldn't even bring it up until you're at a place where you can have that type of a conversation. I'd just tell her that you enjoy her (if that's the case) and like the speed of things right now and really would rather the closeness develop organically instead of rushed/forced/inauthentically and that you're not going anywhere.

If she has a good head on her shoulders and she's emotionally mature and stable, she will see the wisdom in this.
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Old 14th December 2017, 2:56 PM   #9
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I was a bit confused about the title of this thread vs. what it's actually about. You're going to declare to her that you wish to see her more or that you want to take things to the next level, but "tired of your sh*t" indicates that one party is not happy with the other. When you didn't say that.
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Old 14th December 2017, 4:00 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by healing light View Post
Just tell her you're interested in seeing her more and having a potential relationship with her, but that you have to dedicate a lot of time to exams this month. That you're looking forward to getting to know her/explore things deeper when she comes back from holiday and you've enjoyed your time with her thus far. Shouldn't be too hard. A woman truly interested in you would understand.
Exactly this. Just take it slow. No reason to let her go or get too fully engrossed at this time. Don't over-complicate it
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