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Damn date sites, what do you do with this ?


Chilli

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Damn date sites and people , what do l do with this ?

 

l'd only ever been on one for a few wks after my divorce . later l met someone we've been at it a few yrs but it hasn't worked out and just for a bit of fun really, nothing serious just yet, a few wks ago l joined one again.

like l said not too seriously and l've met a few nice ladies but no one that hits the spot.

 

Wasn't too fussed , until !

4 or 5 days ago , low and behold l came across someone l really , really , like. and not only but we have a shyt load going for us.

So l liked her and she liked me back , sent her a message and damn , nothing .

 

She's been on , took a little peak.

 

l can't effg believe it. Got all these other women chatting away and coming and going but this one hasn't gotten back to me. FFFFF.

 

What do you do with a situation like this, is there anything l can do ?

l mean she liked me almost straight away, now, nothing.

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It doesn't sound like you met this person. Correct?

 

If you didn't meet, premature assessment?

 

There's a lot of sizzle on dating sites but as Clara Peller used to opine, where's the beef? That's in the pressing of the flesh.

 

Soldier on. Most of us have been there. Makes the ones that do work out even more sweet.

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First, don’t like them before you even meet them. You might hate her in person or more likely you will never meet.

 

I’ve had many women on bumble reach out to me and go completely silent after I respond. Still kept me matched, just never responded so I give them a week and unmatch them.

 

I only get excited when we are having sex. Anything before that is bs.

 

And chances are it won’t work out long term anyway so the excitement doesn’t last long.

 

Sorry to be a downer, but this is online dating.

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Weirdest thing is , we're both unusual people yet our pages read like twins, she's been on it a couple of years , likes me straight away, no brainer , yet nothing !

 

No we haven't met yet , she still hasn't gotten back to my first message !

 

Yeah om my site you have to like each other back first before you can email.

Edited by Chilli
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Yeah l mean you don't know until you meet but yaknow, if all looks great then at least the first part's good.

 

Pretty damn frustrating these date sites aren't they.

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I'll preface this by saying I'm a bit cynical by nature, but I think all online contact is phony. Until you meet somebody in the real world, it's just fantasy. I don't even understand the concept of "liking" a woman I've never met or talked to.

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Bad manners abound on date sites because people think if they have no intention of meeting the person it's OK to be ignorant and ill-mannered, despite the fact that it costs absolutely nothing to be polite. The upside of this is that if someone thinks that way they're probably a douche so you're actually better off not wasting your time or energy meeting them. People are fickle too, they will 'like' a profile but then suddenly not have the courage to follow it up with chat. Lots of people are shy and/or lacking in confidence and it's a big thing telling some random stranger you think they're a hottie and opening yourself up to possible rejection. Date sites are also full of people who just get on there for the ego boost. They love getting 'likes', they're addicted to it. They don't want to date, or even chat, they just want you to admire them. The really attractive women are waiting there for some rich, handsome dude to spot them, meantime they'll take as many 'likes' as they can get just so their massive ego gets fed it's daily requirement of Narcissistic Supply. On the other hand, many men use dates sites as a way of preying on emotionally vulnerable women, so at any given time you'll have a LOT of women on there too afraid to speak to someone because they're still licking their wounds over their last encounter with some sleazy creep.

Another thing to keep in mind is that many date sites, (especially free ones), are chockablock full of OS scammers, (mostly from West Africa), and if a profile is good-looking and seems sincere and charming there's a good chance it's one of these scumbags looking for a victim.

Date sites - meh!

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Yeah it's ridiculous really.

l mean she's on there 2 yrs, because l know as a a guy she's very different and not many will be interested. She wouldn't find another match like me our stuff is too out there, yet hasn't answered.

 

My message , ahh, nothing flash , talking to plenty of other women though hasn't been a problem.

Typical isn't it , ya see it all over LS , the one ya really want , nada. :rolleyes:

 

She's not a scammer , did some checking.

 

Should you message someone again or just drop it , youch ?

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A woman, or man, who's been on a dating site 2 years would raise a red flag for me, different or not. We're all different. A woman, given the normal deluge even a 'different' one gets, has reviewed a lot of stuff in two years and hopefully gone on a lot of dates too. Fishy.

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A woman, or man, who's been on a dating site 2 years would raise a red flag for me, different or not. We're all different. A woman, given the normal deluge even a 'different' one gets, has reviewed a lot of stuff in two years and hopefully gone on a lot of dates too. Fishy.

 

Would it huh.

So what 2 years is fishy is it ?

hmm, got a lot to learn about these damn date sites.

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Back when I was getting divorced I happened to date a couple of such ladies, meaning we went on dates, did stuff, etc, one for about a month and another for six weeks or so. They came across as 'professional daters'. Went through the motions, perhaps enjoyed things a bit, but it all struck me as superficial. It was at that point I closed out my OLD profile and never dated again. Done. :D

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Yeah right, last thing l'd go for is a pro dater and l've generally always had a very good eye in women. l'd be amazed if she was doubt that very much butttt, never can tell on one of those places l suppose.

 

So what did you do after you closed the account?

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Used the money I spent on it and bought beer. :D

 

As I shared, I never dated again. That was back in 2010. I think I posted about it at the time, can't remember.

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Used the money I spent on it and bought beer. :D

 

As I shared, I never dated again. That was back in 2010. I think I posted about it at the time, can't remember.

 

 

ETA, I need to qualify that decision though.... I dated for nearly 20 years before getting married, and all over the planet. Online dating took me to other states, other countries, and all over the local area. It's not like I tried it a little, got tired and left. I simply had my fill of women after dating a bunch, having a few girlfriends and a wife. Nothing against dating itself, or OLD.

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Versacehottie
Yeah it's ridiculous really.

l mean she's on there 2 yrs, because l know as a a guy she's very different and not many will be interested. She wouldn't find another match like me our stuff is too out there, yet hasn't answered.

 

My message , ahh, nothing flash , talking to plenty of other women though hasn't been a problem.

Typical isn't it , ya see it all over LS , the one ya really want , nada. :rolleyes:

 

She's not a scammer , did some checking.

 

Should you message someone again or just drop it , youch ?

 

I would venture to say that is not the only reason she has been on for two years straight. She could be commitment phobic, super picky, self-sabatoge things: i think that is typically the reason people are on OLD for such a long time, no matter what their personalities are like. In fact, to be honest, my quirkier friends and acquaintances (who actually wanted to date rather than spin their wheels or gather ego boosts or find reasons to tell themselves nothing will ever work out) did the best on OLD, sometimes even better than more mainstream, conventionally appealing friends. I think the medium suits the less conventional types so honestly I would just take it as dating isn't a priority to her or that an initial like was just that and will not develop into anything more, as that happens often.

 

I think you could message again or leave her open with you if you are so intrigued. My friend is now together with a guy she initially ignored via online and he tried again, felt there was something really special about her & they are very serious now. Good luck!

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Yeah it's ridiculous really.

l mean she's on there 2 yrs, because l know as a a guy she's very different and not many will be interested. She wouldn't find another match like me our stuff is too out there, yet hasn't answered.

 

My message , ahh, nothing flash , talking to plenty of other women though hasn't been a problem.

Typical isn't it , ya see it all over LS , the one ya really want , nada. :rolleyes:

 

She's not a scammer , did some checking.

 

Should you message someone again or just drop it , youch ?

 

As a general rule women get a lot more attention than men on date sites, so, even though you don't think many guys would be interested in her, you've got plenty of competition and it's very possible that she was already chatting to one or more other people. Or maybe there was something in your message she didn't like? If you're willing to risk your ego a second time, go ahead and message her again :)

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Not sayin people wouldn't like her she sounded very likable actually, but that's a different thing butt, who really knows l suppose.

 

 

Maybe l give her a bit longer , see if she shows up , if not maybe try her again or dump it, damn.

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I would venture to say that is not the only reason she has been on for two years straight. She could be commitment phobic, super picky, self-sabatoge things: i think that is typically the reason people are on OLD for such a long time, no matter what their personalities are like. In fact, to be honest, my quirkier friends and acquaintances (who actually wanted to date rather than spin their wheels or gather ego boosts or find reasons to tell themselves nothing will ever work out) did the best on OLD, sometimes even better than more mainstream, conventionally appealing friends. I think the medium suits the less conventional types so honestly I would just take it as dating isn't a priority to her or that an initial like was just that and will not develop into anything more, as that happens often.

 

I think you could message again or leave her open with you if you are so intrigued. My friend is now together with a guy she initially ignored via online and he tried again, felt there was something really special about her & they are very serious now. Good luck!

 

Nice story versa , love a happy ending haha.

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So is two years a long time and something to watch is it ?

tbh l wouldn't have actually thought much of that can't just get a divorce and pluck a new love outa thin air.

Seems plenty of people here have been messing round on them for yrs and l know plenty on mine l recognize from 3yrs ago.

 

Tricky business isn't it.

Edited by Chilli
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Does anyone think much of star signs or ever noticed a pattern with yourselves and who you hit it of with.?

 

This girl is a leo , the only thing l didn't like because l went out with a leo before l was married and we just didn't gell.

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Chili, I met my last bf from OLD. I had messaged him before and nothing. Then I messaged him a year later and he was super stoked. He shared with me that the first time I messaged him he had just gotten back with his on again, off again ex, so that’s why he never responded. So maybe this girl is in at the tail end of a relationship too. I say wait a bit of time and message her again.

 

I’ve learned that there are tons of people on there who are “just looking”, but the timing is not right for them. So there’s some luck involved.

Edited by Popsicle
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