curiousguy1 Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 So I was on a recent flight, and a flight attendant introduced herself to me after take off, she had apparently noticed my name and that we shared the same nationality. We shared friendly conversation on the flight a few times, got on quite. When the flight ended I wanted to ask her to catch up sometime when she was in town but chickened out obviously, and just said hopefully we run into each other again, and she agreed, saying shes in town often, you never know. Anyway, I found her easily on facebook, and was wondering if it would be creepy or quite normal to say hello to her? I feel it would be fine, but never can be sure these days. Thoughts? Cheers. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 I'm older so this may not be the same advice as someone younger but IMO, wayyy totally creepy.... I think if you had FB friends in common then some of the creepy factor would go down.. Don't do it, save your self respect... she was doing her job not coming on to you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 In general, single, and even married, FA's get hit on all the time. Back when I was doing that stuff I had a travel card printed up that I'd write a personal note of thanks on the back and, like the pilots sometimes hand certain pax similar cards, would hand it to the FA upon deplaning. Sometimes that got a drink at the club or a social interaction at the crew hotel. Those were the best places I found to socialize with FA's. I'm not a casual sex guy but I trust that was an option for some. I was more into it for the social aspect and swapping travel stories with ladies who've seen the world. IMO, it's fine for a FA to contact a pax on FB. Other way around, probably creepy, especially if you grabbed her name off her crew tag and she was otherwise unaware. If invited to, sure. 'I'm on FB, look me up sometime'.... OK That's my .02 with a million plus miles on aircraft. FA's are great. They can make or break a flight. Link to post Share on other sites
Author curiousguy1 Posted December 8, 2017 Author Share Posted December 8, 2017 Well she introduced herself with her first name. I was thinking it wouldn't be creepy because we had some type of friendly vibe going on, and chatted about family among other things during the flight. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 If she was interested in you beyond being a customer I'm sure she would have given you her contact details or asked you to look her up on FB. She was at work doing her job as a FA not cruising the bar looking for a hookup, while the instance may happen to her at work where she finds someone she wants to hookup with the entire contact side of it is in her court. Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 Leave this one alone, rejection an almost certainty in my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
ChatroomHero Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 Normally I would be dead set against this, randomly messaging on facebook. Where I think you have an "in" is with having the name conversation, you could easily type her name and find her on facebook...you didn't have to do deep digging at stalker level 5 to find her. I see this as almost like you were at a group activity or something and got a list with everyone's phone number and hers was on it and you called or sent her a text. The difference between whether it is creepy or not really comes down to if she is attracted to you. If someone I was attracted to met me on a plane and found me on facebook and messaged me, I would have no issue with it at all. Even if I was not attracted, given the circumstance I would be fine with it too. I think there is a fine line between creepy and showing interest now and the line is usually set by attraction. You liked her enough to look her up on fb and send a message, there is nothing wrong with that. It's not like you have anything to lose. If she liked you, it's a great move. If she didn't, it's just a message so who really cares? I say go for it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 If someone I was attracted to met me on a plane and found me on facebook and messaged me, I would have no issue with it at all. Even if I was not attracted, given the circumstance I would be fine with it too. I think there is a fine line between creepy and showing interest now and the line is usually set by attraction. You liked her enough to look her up on fb and send a message, there is nothing wrong with that. You are not a woman though are you? Link to post Share on other sites
Minnie09 Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 Add her on FB/message her. You can’t lose, other than her not replying. If she is not interested/creeped out, and therefore unwilling to reply, You have your answer. But it’s not embarrassing, because you will most likely never see her again, IF she’s not interested. So you can only win. Link to post Share on other sites
Mjm1014 Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 (edited) Okay here’s my take, what do you have to lose? Unfortunately, if you message her on Facebook and you aren’t friends, most likely it will end up in her filtered mailbox so she won’t see the message. Make sure to friend request her first so she gets your message. I’m an airline pilot, and can tell you part of their job is to be friendly and talk to the passengers, especially in first class. Thing is, I fly with a ton of FAs that are constantly telling me of the cute guys they flirted with and 9/10 times they didn’t get the number and seem disappointed-so she could really be into you. Airline employees have some great travel benefits and I’d say half of the people I fly with date outside of the city they live in since they get to fly for practically free. If you get to know her and you hit it off, you would also get benefits to travel to see her (if she listed you as a travel companion). So, i would say go for it. Not that creepy...it would be hard to approach when she’s working around her passengers and crew anyways. Let us know how it goes. On a side note, I met a girl years ago that I looked up on facebook. It was weird at first, and she wanted to know how I found her (jokingly), but bottom line is I got the date, and we ended up hitting it off for awhile. Edited December 8, 2017 by Mjm1014 Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 go for it ! like everyone said you have nothing to lose plus she’s at work she’s not going to ask you out or give you her contact number in front of everybody in the plane Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 don't pursue women who are paid to be nice to you 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author curiousguy1 Posted December 8, 2017 Author Share Posted December 8, 2017 don't pursue women who are paid to be nice to you Is a facebook message really purseing though? isn't that what facebook is for? for people to connect? I agree that I have nothing to lose if i did it, i still think its sort of harmless really. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 In today's environment of seemingly zero boundaries, well, enjoy Tip: If/when interacting, seek a dynamic where an emotional memory of you is established so she 'remembers' you. That makes future contact much easier. Else you're just one of hundreds of faces she sees every day as a FA. My best luck was on long transcons in F. Surprisingly, it was the red eyes that I wasn't able to sleep on that were best luck. Why? Most people in F zonk out and I'd go up to the galley and chat with the FA's and have a drink or two. Friendly Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 Well she introduced herself with her first name. I was thinking it wouldn't be creepy because we had some type of friendly vibe going on, and chatted about family among other things during the flight. She is just doing her job.....making people feel welcomed and comfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author curiousguy1 Posted December 8, 2017 Author Share Posted December 8, 2017 Ive heard FA's actually don't like passengers annoying them in the gallery, so not sure if that would be a good memory. She would remember me , considering she approached me about my name in the first place, and we share the same heritage. I understand that could just be being friendly and nothing more though. Im not sure. I will think about it. Wondering what would be the best timing to do it, if i wanted to, like right now, or months later? Should have just given her my number onboard , it didn't cross my mind, I was only thinking about asking for hers but apparently in those situations , giving yours is actually the best option. Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 If you've been snooping her profile, you'll probably pop up in her "people you may know" list, so she'll likely know you've been checking her out. Just send her a message. Like Chatroomhero said, it's only creepy if she's not interested. If she is interested, she'll be happy you tracked her down. Link to post Share on other sites
Author curiousguy1 Posted December 8, 2017 Author Share Posted December 8, 2017 If you've been snooping her profile, you'll probably pop up in her "people you may know" list, so she'll likely know you've been checking her out. Just send her a message. Like Chatroomhero said, it's only creepy if she's not interested. If she is interested, she'll be happy you tracked her down. Damn are you sure about the people you may know thing? I was pretty sure it just shows up on your side not theirs. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 8, 2017 Share Posted December 8, 2017 Ive heard FA's actually don't like passengers annoying them in the gallery, so not sure if that would be a good memory. She would remember me , considering she approached me about my name in the first place, and we share the same heritage. I understand that could just be being friendly and nothing more though. Im not sure. I will think about it. Wondering what would be the best timing to do it, if i wanted to, like right now, or months later? Should have just given her my number onboard , it didn't cross my mind, I was only thinking about asking for hers but apparently in those situations , giving yours is actually the best option. YMMV, of course but my experience was normally I'd either be waiting to use the lav or entering or exiting it or ask for a drink and it was them who started up the convo. Most FA's are pretty friendly, at least IME, and then I'd observe the service and, if one stood out and I found her attractive I'd look her in the eye when deplaning, hand her my card and smile. Never had a sour response, ever. Sometimes it ended up with future contact, most times not. I was never looking for a relationship and frankly didn't even inquire as to their relationship or marital status. Just good clean travel fun. This approach worked better on the US-based carriers. When in Asia they seemed more businesslike. Friendly, sure, but all business. Aussies were a mix. Virgin (AU) was pretty cool, nice young hot FA's, heh. It sounds like you're advocating for contact so go with that and report back. We're simply adding our life experience with flight attendants. Each one is different. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 I'm in the what have ya got to lose camp. It's an electronic message. If she's not interested, she can easily ignore, delete. If she is, she'll be glad you made the effort to get in touch. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
soyou Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 I’m a woman and this would be my response . If I like you, it wont find it creepy that you add and message on FB. If I dont like you, then it’s creepy. So just go for it. You’ve nothing to lose. I’ve had so many times that I feel like men like me but in the end hardly any guy grow balls to ask for contacts directly or make it very forward!! GO FOR IT!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 I think she was paid to be nice to you. That said, if you message her, the worst she can do is think you've overstepped your boundaries and block you. Link to post Share on other sites
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