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Online dating-my intuition is telling me something is wrong


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Hello everyone,

 

I hope for some insight into my story. About a week ago I met an interesting guy on a dating website, a foreigner (from another continent to be precise).

 

Distance doesn't present a problem for me so I went on with the conversation and we seem to have similar values and outlook on life.

Both of us are looking for serious relationship and everything seemed to be going right until today I noticed that he has a Facebook profile and I opened it out of curiosity. This would not be a problem otherwise but I noticed he has many Muslim friends on his friend list and some of those seem to be fake profiles.

This would not be such a big deal but he told me several times that he strongly dislikes Muslims.

I got really upset and I am thinking of calling it quits but want to get my facts first.

 

I would appreciate your opinions.

 

Thanks,

JK

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Thanks Popsicle, I think you're right, but still I video chatted to this person for hours every day in the past week, so I am very shocked and upset right now. I just can't believe this.

 

Anyone else?

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Thanks Popsicle, I think you're right, but still I video chatted to this person for hours every day in the past week, so I am very shocked and upset right now. I just can't believe this.

 

Believe it. There are a lot of fakes online because that is where they thrive.

 

What is your reason for being okay with long-distance?

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Believe it. There are a lot of fakes online because that is where they thrive.

 

What is your reason for being okay with long-distance?

 

I don't mind being long-distance because I believe that love should have no barriers. I would go to the end of the world for the right person.

This doesn't mean that I disagree with people who are against long-distance. That is ok too, to each his own.

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Good luck trying to develop a relationship with someone on another continent... Have you had any success doing that in the past? And just curious, have you actually had a relationship with someone, in real life before?

 

Yes, I would walk away from this guy. It's too much of a risk for me...

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Good luck trying to develop a relationship with someone on another continent... Have you had any success doing that in the past? And just curious, have you actually had a relationship with someone, in real life before?

 

Yes, I would walk away from this guy. It's too much of a risk for me...

 

Thank you for your input. Maybe my post is misleading and I sound like a teenager, but I'm over 30 years old and I've had a similar long distance relationship before but it didn't work out for reasons other than distance. I've had several real life relationships before, so this is not a concern.

 

I was actually interested in knowing about what people thought about this particular situation and not what they thought about long distance dating.

 

And thanks for your last comment, I think I'll do just that-walk away, while I still can

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I agree that you should trust your instinct. However, I would be very tempted to ask about his profile, say you looked to see if he was on Facebook. It would be interesting to hear what he says. Why would he want to say he dislikes muslims anyway? Is this supposed to be a good thing?

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I agree that you should trust your instinct. However, I would be very tempted to ask about his profile, say you looked to see if he was on Facebook. It would be interesting to hear what he says. Why would he want to say he dislikes muslims anyway? Is this supposed to be a good thing?

 

Thank you for your reply.

I'll confront him first thing tomorrow and will listen to what he has to say. I'm very interested to hear it too.

Him not liking Muslim people is definitely not supposed to be a good thing, but I didn't give it much thought (maybe I should have). He somehow brought it up several times in our conversations as if he wanted me to take note of the fact. Very strange.

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Thank you for your reply.

I'll confront him first thing tomorrow and will listen to what he has to say. I'm very interested to hear it too.

Him not liking Muslim people is definitely not supposed to be a good thing, but I didn't give it much thought (maybe I should have). He somehow brought it up several times in our conversations as if he wanted me to take note of the fact. Very strange.

 

The unsolicited expression of his dislike for Muslims is his way of letting you how he feels about them and a way to 'solicit' your response to the issue. I think he wanted to see/know how you felt about Muslims as well. I really think that his bigotry ought not be ignored when it is fundamentally in opposition to your own principles and values.

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You've got all the facts you need.

 

He says one thing, but acts in polar opposite to it as evidenced by the people with whom he keeps company.

 

End it. He's most likely a scammer.

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I don't mind being long-distance because I believe that love should have no barriers. I would go to the end of the world for the right person.

 

You will most likely unnecessarily burn through money doing this.

 

Here's a tip: the right man will willingly offer of his own volition to fly to you to meet you first. If he does not do this, he's grooming you to scam you.

 

If he is OK with you spending your money to come see him but he won't offer to first come see you, he's not serious about you. He's serious about parting you with your money. That's not how love operates in real time... only in a lonely, desperate person's imagination does this scenario hold water.

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I chatted with a scammer a month or so ago. He never even got round to asking me for money, but he'd sent me pics and I did an image search online. Complete fake.

 

I just deleted him. But I spotted the next one quickly. When I called him out on it, he got abusive.

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Michelle ma Belle

I'm one who is big on following your instincts as they are rarely if ever wrong.

 

That being said, I'm curious about a few things;

 

What makes you think the profiles of his Muslim friends are fakes? How did you come to that conclusion?

 

Did you share each other's Facebook details or did you just snoop and found him online with an public/open profile?

 

Where are you both located and what are your ethnicities?

 

How did the conversation about hating Muslims come about exactly?

 

 

As for distance, I've done LDR several times and one of them was overseas. Despite all the nightmares you hear about them on LS or in the news, there are legit people looking for legit love where distance isn't an obstacle. They CAN work if two people are working at it and understand the importance of communication and even transparency.

 

Then there are brilliant fakes and scammers to always be mindful of. You used to be able to identify them a mile away but they too have evolved with the times and people's skepticism. You can never be to careful.

 

 

At the very least, I would confront him about what you found out and see what he says. Not that his response would change much for you but it would be good information to have if only to arm you the next time you find yourself in a similar situation.

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I chatted with a scammer a month or so ago. He never even got round to asking me for money, but he'd sent me pics and I did an image search online. Complete fake.

 

I just deleted him. But I spotted the next one quickly. When I called him out on it, he got abusive.

 

Scammers aren't always out for money. Some just want attention and don't ever want to be together IRL.

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Scammers aren't always out for money. Some just want attention and don't ever want to be together IRL.

 

Well, that would have been fine. I'm getting over the breakup of a LTR and don't want IRL. But he was going with the 'I'm so in love with you' line despite my showing nothing more than polite interest. I'm not a fool and don't it being assumed that I am. If you're going to scam, at least do it well!

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