Zul Posted November 23, 2017 Share Posted November 23, 2017 Good Morning, all! I have a pretty bad habit, I tend to look at a girl and start imagining life with her now and in the future. The way she talks, she walks, dresses, her ism's, how funny she'll be and pretty much exactly how she will be. Despite the fact that I haven't even met these girls. It is a horrible habit, for two reasons. 1. I wind up getting very hurt when I get rejected because that 'future' I imagine with them is now gone. 2. They wind up not being like I imagine and it causes problems because they are different than I projected. I can't help to do this, and I wish I didn't. It makes a simple first date with a girl I've known for a little bit into a heartbreak and we never made memories in the first place. I always imagine who they "should" or "could" be, not who they really are. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 23, 2017 Share Posted November 23, 2017 If you see a girl that you find attractive, ask her out right away. Then keep an open and objective mind. I understand you have expectations as to what you ideal GF is. Just cut out the day dreaming and focus on other things. It's easy to do once you start. You just retrain your brain to think differently...as they say mind over matter. The best way to start is to figure out why you spend your time fantasizing. Are you bored with your life? Do you have no friends or hobbies to occupy your thoughts? Maybe you should also focus on enhancing your life with new activities to feel more excited about life...experience different passions to redirect your energy vs obsessing over a girl you have never met. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
planb1973 Posted November 23, 2017 Share Posted November 23, 2017 If you see a girl that you find attractive, ask her out right away. Then keep an open and objective mind. I understand you have expectations as to what you ideal GF is. Just cut out the day dreaming and focus on other things. It's easy to do once you start. You just retrain your brain to think differently...as they say mind over matter. The best way to start is to figure out why you spend your time fantasizing. Are you bored with your life? Do you have no friends or hobbies to occupy your thoughts? Maybe you should also focus on enhancing your life with new activities to feel more excited about life...experience different passions to redirect your energy vs obsessing over a girl you have never met. Exactly this ^^^ Once you learn to get rid of expectations in dating the whole thing gets so much easier and less stressful. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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