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She went ghost


j21bird

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I was at a business happy hour networking event about a week ago and right when I arrived noticed a woman checking me out. A little later on she was browsing around away from the group she was with and I went up and talked to her.

 

We hit it off instantly and talked for about 10 minutes. A person that I know came up to me while we were talking and said they had someone they wanted me to meet.

 

This was perfect as it was an organic way for me to wrap things up. I asked for her number and she handed me her phone told me to enter in my number and then she had me call my number so my phone would have her number.

 

I messaged her the next day and did not wait a couple days since I felt there was a ton of good momentum. She promptly responded saying it was good to meet me. We exchanged a couple more messages and then I did not waste too much time and I set up a date with her that weekend.

 

On our date we picked up right where we had left and had great conversation. We went to a couple of different bars and then she asked me to go with her to a party her friends were at that same night.

 

During the night she told me that she noticed me right away at the networking event from the other and thought a guy like me had to be married. She told me she likes the way I dress and . . . . a few other ego boosting comments like that.

 

I did go with her to the party that night and it was in a luxury penthouse in a downtown high rise. It was a blast. I made a point of chatting with her friends and did not just follow her around. At one point I was talking to her friend and she grabbed me by the arm and took me to the bathroom to make out. That happened a couple times with her that night. We then got a ride back to her place.

 

We both had a been drinking a good amount and we both just crashed without anything happening. Which I think is a good thing.

 

The next morning(Sunday) we chatted a little, but I did not want to linger too long so I got a ride back to my place. I did not want to come on too strong so I did not message her that day.

 

On Monday she messaged me asking if I had bounced back from the drinks. I thought this was a good sign that she was making the move to reach out to me first. We exchanged a few more messages and I said let's grab a drink on Wednesday. She said she would love to hang out but needed to see what her plans were as she had family visiting during that time. She said she would let me know soon what her plans are

 

I never heard anything more from her and I have not messaged her.

 

Do I sit tight and wait/hope she messages me or do I message her with something along the lines of "Listen, I think you are cool, I like you and I want to see you before I leave for California."

 

I really do have a trip to California coming up and I did tell her about it while we were out.

 

Just seemed like this girl was totally into me and I did not come on too strong- I was confident I played it really well. Now I have not heard anything from her for 72 hours.

 

What are your thoughts on this ?? And what should the next move be??

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Why not just text her? Why are you waiting? Did it occur to you that she might be waiting on YOU to text HER because she needs to know you're genuinely interested? You're the guy. Guys typically have to initiate at first, show your interest level and intention. At this point, she may be considering that you haven't written her because you were after sex and since that didn't happen, you've moved on...and you would have moved on if it did happen, so dodged a bullet there. This on top of not contacting her for three days and your "trip to California." The pieces aren't coming together well. At least this is what she might be thinking.

 

If you're interested, chat her up. It's the holiday, and she's busy, so you do need to work around her family plans. She said she would contact you about Wednesday (yesterday?), but I don't think that absolves you from some general chit-chat. At this point, you blew her off for a day, and she reached out to you first. Now it's three days, and she may be feeling like she shouldn't have to reach out first each time to fish for a date, and your lack of initiating contact is because you're just not into her. I know this is what I would be thinking. Text her and wish her a Happy Thanksgiving and see if you can get some dialogue and hopefully a date before your trip...that is when? Now for the holiday? Next week? In any case, I think that if you want this woman, you need to be a little bit more assertive and build that momentum. Stop playing this "cool" game and show some interest in her. If she blows off another date opportunity with no backup (keep the holiday and family in mind) or ignores your texts, then you can call it a day.

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Message and say hey how's everything going with the family in town?

 

When she replies ask when she is free to meet up

 

I bet she is waiting for you to text her

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You guys were right.

 

I did message her today wishing her a happy thanksgiving and she responded. We exchanged a couple more messages, but did not want to message too much since she was with her family and I was with mine.

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