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Does her behavior / Texts indicate Disinterest?


bobross00

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This takes place at college. So i we've went out to bars and a single lunch/dinner date before. Whenever i would ask her to go to the bars with me, she would respond with "okayy maybe after [event name]". She would actually follow through though. When i asked her to lunch, she gave a firm "okay sure". We've only been the the bars together once and to lunch once.

 

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After a month of knowing her, we go on a date and end up at her apartment smoking weed. I dont really make any moves. Throughout the time at her apartment, she mentions wanting to take a nap. Her friends were there, but left. I mention how small her hands are (and grab her arm) and she mentions how big mine are several times. That's the extent to me hitting on her. At the end i say 'give me a kiss', only bc it didnt feel right just going for it. She says ok, and then next thing you know my lips meet her nose. She has her lips shut tight and eyes open. I say, "you dont want to kiss me?". She says "i do want to kiss you". She then gives me a passionate kiss using her tongue and rubs my back.

That same night i tell her to come to a bar. She said shes there. I say "where". She doesnt respond. In the morning she says sorry and how she was high.

 

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Fast forward a week later to around now. I stop texting her for a while after another mishap with me and her (i said something stupid). I apologize via text, and say im interested in seeing her. I also throw in somehow that she was the second girl i've kissed. She doesn't respond. I see her in real life and she said that she's fine. I dont text her. She tries to run into me at the bar for a few days and gives me a hug first. Her friends are standing in back of her grinning.

 

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So i've texted her the next day saying "hey, wanna go to the botanical gardens ?". She responds with saying 'hey sorry i have to write a paper today'. I then ask what day she's free, and she says 'idk, i'm leaving in two days'. Thanksgiving is coming up and most people will not be back until sunday. The break starts in two days. Do you think she is dodging me or could it just be a bad time with thanksgiving taking up the weekend? I've heard if a girl wants to see you again, it doesn't matter.

 

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The previous day that i saw her, she searched me out and initiated a hug. Idk what gives. It seems like someone interested would have said yes for the 2 days that she'll be here, or maybe offered to go when we come back from break?

 

Also, she knows i'm the 2nd girl she's ever kissed (i told her after we kissed). Maybe this was a turn off? I'm thinking she wants more of a casual thing.

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She seems interested enough to seek you out and orbit you at bars. I don't know why she's wishy-washy about one-on-ones. Before break and the holidays, it can be difficult time-wise. Maybe instead of a day-long event like botanical gardens, you could ask about a quick coffee break or grab a quick bite...take a break from studies, briefly.

 

In any case, she keeps orbiting you and trying to get in your sphere when she sees you, so that's a good sign, in my mind. See how things go after Thanksgiving. Maybe lay off the bar scene and plan a movie or bowling or some other activity.

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This takes place at college. So i we've went out to bars and a single lunch/dinner date before. Whenever i would ask her to go to the bars with me, she would respond with "okayy maybe after [event name]". She would actually follow through though. When i asked her to lunch, she gave a firm "okay sure". We've only been the the bars together once and to lunch once.

 

-

After a month of knowing her, we go on a date and end up at her apartment smoking weed. I dont really make any moves. Throughout the time at her apartment, she mentions wanting to take a nap. Her friends were there, but left. I mention how small her hands are (and grab her arm) and she mentions how big mine are several times. That's the extent to me hitting on her. At the end i say 'give me a kiss', only bc it didnt feel right just going for it. She says ok, and then next thing you know my lips meet her nose. She has her lips shut tight and eyes open. I say, "you dont want to kiss me?". She says "i do want to kiss you". She then gives me a passionate kiss using her tongue and rubs my back.

That same night i tell her to come to a bar. She said shes there. I say "where". She doesnt respond. In the morning she says sorry and how she was high.

 

-

Fast forward a week later to around now. I stop texting her for a while after another mishap with me and her (i said something stupid). I apologize via text, and say im interested in seeing her. I also throw in somehow that she was the second girl i've kissed. She doesn't respond. I see her in real life and she said that she's fine. I dont text her. She tries to run into me at the bar for a few days and gives me a hug first. Her friends are standing in back of her grinning.

 

-

So i've texted her the next day saying "hey, wanna go to the botanical gardens ?". She responds with saying 'hey sorry i have to write a paper today'. I then ask what day she's free, and she says 'idk, i'm leaving in two days'. Thanksgiving is coming up and most people will not be back until sunday. The break starts in two days. Do you think she is dodging me or could it just be a bad time with thanksgiving taking up the weekend? I've heard if a girl wants to see you again, it doesn't matter.

 

-

The previous day that i saw her, she searched me out and initiated a hug. Idk what gives. It seems like someone interested would have said yes for the 2 days that she'll be here, or maybe offered to go when we come back from break?

 

Also, she knows i'm the 2nd girl she's ever kissed (i told her after we kissed). Maybe this was a turn off? I'm thinking she wants more of a casual thing.

 

To be fair, she's only really sought me out (visibly) when once recently. Shes been trying to orbit for a few days though.

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She likes you well enough.

 

 

The days before Thanksgiving are rushed for most students. As a collegian most of my professors would schedule a test Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday to keep us on campus. Take her at her word that she was too busy this week right before break. Assuming you have her #, text her Happy Thanksgiving on Thursday. Then reach out Monday or Tuesday when you are back. Try planning something that does not involve drinking or getting high. She may be worried that you can only spend time with her when you are drunk or stoned.

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Tip: keep the "Only kissed two girls in my life" to yourself. Secondly, it's college. very few are looking for romance. Either you get with a girl here or there or don't date college girls.

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Tip: keep the "Only kissed two girls in my life" to yourself. Secondly, it's college. very few are looking for romance. Either you get with a girl here or there or don't date college girls.

 

Yea, i really messed up with that. How much do you think that hurt me? I'm pretty sure she's looking for something casual.

 

 

How should i go about just hooking up, if that's all she wants? And does it seem like should she's dodging me based off of that text? I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, since we have the weekend off, but idk if that's grasping for straws.

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Fast forward a week later to around now. I stop texting her for a while after another mishap with me and her (i said something stupid). I apologize via text, and say im interested in seeing her.

 

What did you say that you had to apologize for? Did she ever accept your apology? You say that she didn't respond to your apology text.

 

What makes you think she only wants to hook up?

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Yea, i really messed up with that. How much do you think that hurt me? I'm pretty sure she's looking for something casual.

 

 

How should i go about just hooking up, if that's all she wants? And does it seem like should she's dodging me based off of that text? I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, since we have the weekend off, but idk if that's grasping for straws.

You let her come to you....stop chasing.

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What did you say that you had to apologize for? Did she ever accept your apology? You say that she didn't respond to your apology text.

 

What makes you think she only wants to hook up?

 

 

I took really bad advice from Reddit, also i was drunk. Some guy suggested I say: "Come to [bar name], You're not the greatest kisser, but I'll give you a second chance". It was supposed to be more of a tease; but the thing is I don't know her enough to say that. She responded with something along the lines of "lmao, not taking care of a person who drank too much sorry".

 

I noticed she through in the "sorry" word in this case and when i asked her out in that last text. Idk if subconsciously she's rejecting me. The last time that she couldn't meet for a date she offered to meet the following week. We wouldn't be able to meet this week, so maybe she didn't want to plan another week out? Idk.

 

Anyways, when i seen her in person after that bad text, she immediately opened her arms for a hug. I then said sorry for being an *******. Then she with sincerity said "no, i'm fine". In a way that actually seemed like she really didn't care at all. She then started talking about the jello shot she's having.

 

But no, she never responded to my initial apology text. In that text I also mentioned how i'm still interested in seeing her, and to let me know.

 

And actually, i think she may want something more like a friends with benefits situation, rather than just hooking up. Idk. I'd be open to something more serious.

 

But yea, idk the following two texts convey not being interested or wanting me to set a time:

 

"hey sorry i have a research paper today" and

"idk i'm leaving in 2 days"

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You let her come to you....stop chasing.

 

The thing is she's never texted me first. I completely stopped texting her one week, and that's the same week that she's been trying to run into me in person.

 

So don't ask her out one last time when we get back from the break? Originally I was going to, and based on her response, i was going to either never text her again, or keep pursuing. I don't want to shoot myself in the foot though since i've been texting her every weekend

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The thing is she's never texted me first. I completely stopped texting her one week, and that's the same week that she's been trying to run into me in person.

 

So don't ask her out one last time when we get back from the break? Originally I was going to, and based on her response, i was going to either never text her again, or keep pursuing. I don't want to shoot myself in the foot though since i've been texting her every weekend

Whatever floats your boat.

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I took really bad advice from Reddit, also i was drunk. Some guy suggested I say: "Come to [bar name], You're not the greatest kisser, but I'll give you a second chance". It was supposed to be more of a tease; but the thing is I don't know her enough to say that.

 

 

Yikes! I suppose that could be funny -- in context with tone so she knew you were teasing. Even with emojis that sounds so insulting. If you really sent that I would have responded with a snarky reply & blocked you. She seems to have gotten the joke. You dodged a bullet.

 

Since she was OK with your rudeness, I think you need to cut her some slack for this shortened week, text her Thursday & then just reach out when you are both back on campus Monday.

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There’s a good chance she’s blowing you off or she just could be busy because this is a busy time. What I don’t understand is your belief that her avoiding you means that she wants to be FWB. There hasn’t been any sign of that. She gave you a hug as a greeting when she saw you at the bar which seems to be what is causing you to believe that she wants to be FWB. She was just greeting you, nothing more.

 

Do you think she is dodging me or could it just be a bad time with thanksgiving taking up the weekend? I've heard if a girl wants to see you again, it doesn't matter.

 

 

You have to be realistic. You can’t expect a woman to drop everything for you. She said she had a paper to write…do you expect her to half ass her paper and get a lower grade so that she can spend all day at the botanical gardens with you? Thanksgiving is a busy time, she could be too busy to spend time with you right now. Or it could be that she’s blowing you off because of that Reddit text you sent or because you told her that she’s the second girl you’ve kissed. Or it could be something else that you did that you weren’t aware was off-putting.

 

I noticed she through in the "sorry" word in this case and when i asked her out in that last text. Idk if subconsciously she's rejecting me.

 

This is a really weird thought process about her using the word sorry. I don’t mean to sound harsh but you sound like a robot analyzing human behavior. Try to be yourself and you’ll find that the process is a lot easier. Texting lame come on lines like the Reddit thing will blow up in your face 99% of the time. (Like it did this time.)

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There’s a good chance she’s blowing you off or she just could be busy because this is a busy time. What I don’t understand is your belief that her avoiding you means that she wants to be FWB. There hasn’t been any sign of that. She gave you a hug as a greeting when she saw you at the bar which seems to be what is causing you to believe that she wants to be FWB. She was just greeting you, nothing more.

 

 

 

 

You have to be realistic. You can’t expect a woman to drop everything for you. She said she had a paper to write…do you expect her to half ass her paper and get a lower grade so that she can spend all day at the botanical gardens with you? Thanksgiving is a busy time, she could be too busy to spend time with you right now. Or it could be that she’s blowing you off because of that Reddit text you sent or because you told her that she’s the second girl you’ve kissed. Or it could be something else that you did that you weren’t aware was off-putting.

 

 

 

This is a really weird thought process about her using the word sorry. I don’t mean to sound harsh but you sound like a robot analyzing human behavior. Try to be yourself and you’ll find that the process is a lot easier. Texting lame come on lines like the Reddit thing will blow up in your face 99% of the time. (Like it did this time.)

 

Yea, i dont expect her to drop everything for me. Ive just heard they're supposed to offer another time if they are interested.

 

And if she is blowing me off, i dont know what the true reason for it is, as it could be many.

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Yikes! I suppose that could be funny -- in context with tone so she knew you were teasing. Even with emojis that sounds so insulting. If you really sent that I would have responded with a snarky reply & blocked you. She seems to have gotten the joke. You dodged a bullet.

 

Since she was OK with your rudeness, I think you need to cut her some slack for this shortened week, text her Thursday & then just reach out when you are both back on campus Monday.

 

Yea, she came back with a snarky reply and then stopped responding to me until I seen her in real life. When i apologized she said "no, i'm fine", but in a way that it literally had no effect on her at all. The way she sounded and looked, it kind of was like she was wondering why i'm even apologizing. She then proceeded to talk to me.

 

And i don't know if you mean next thursday or this thursday. I was planning on texting her to see if she wants to hangout next thursdayish. We don't really hold conversations via text. I just text to ask her out (only because I've heard that's what you're supposed to do)

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