meded Posted November 20, 2017 Share Posted November 20, 2017 Hi everyone, So I met this guy about 3 weeks ago now from the dating site Bumble, and we pretty much instantly hit it off. We texted throughout the day and he'd call me almost daily well just to talk. Our only issue initially was that he mentioned how it took me awhile to reply to him most times, which it admittedly would take me hours to reply, but this was only because I am a second year medical student and time is not the easiest thing to come by! However, because I sensed he was really interested, I began to go out of my way to make extra time for him, even replying back in shorter time spans. Our first date went well, and he actually asked me back to his place afterwards, although i declined because I had class early the next morning. We continued to talk for a week after that, planning our next date, however somewhere in between he disappeared and I did not hear from him for a week. I was perplexed but decided to let it ride out until our scheduled date came, (i would also like to mention that him and i had gone days without talking before which he told me made him upset as i did not contact him for 4 days and going on about how i was the only girl he was truly interested in etc. so i tried not to let this instance bother me) WELL.. I never heard from him that day despite me seeing him viewing my snaps online... I let it go, and went out with my friends instead that night, but on Sunday I could no longer resist my urge to reach out to him. I texted him a simple "hey" for which he responded almost instantly to asking me how i'd been etc..the convo picked up like it had in the past and he ended up inquiring about if i was free to hangout later. I said yes and we ended up hanging out at my place, laughing, talking and watching movies.. He left and mentioned that he wanted to hangout again soon and I agreed etc... It is now the next afternoon and i have yet to hear from him? I'm not sure if I should let it go or not at this point but he seems to be giving real mixed signals here and its quite upsetting. I really like this guy, and as mentioned above he'd always go on about how he favored me out of any of the other girls he'd met recently etc. so I just don't understand. Also, he was very aggressive in the beginning but that has fizzled.. Any advice would help.. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 20, 2017 Share Posted November 20, 2017 He is only interested in casual. If he wanted a real relationship with you he would tell you or at least be consistent. He was aggressive because he wants to sleep with you. Since you declined his offer he bailed on you. My guess is that you are an option, while he seeks out others. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
chinadiary Posted November 20, 2017 Share Posted November 20, 2017 He's trying to be dominant. You're not champing at the bit to get to him and he's peeved. Not sure what you should do. He might calm down if you get together or he might be a regular game player. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
sdraw108 Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 Too many red flags: He got aggressive. I'd disregard that this fizzled out: it will return at some point.He didn't like that you didn't respond quickly, but then disappeared for a week (double standards).He claims he's only been interested in you, but is obviously seeing other girls (only reasonable explanation for the week long disappearing act).He stood you up on a scheduled date.The change in his behaviour occurred right after you declined to go to his place after the first date. This suggests his primary aim is hooking up. Personally, I'd stay away. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
biddibom Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 I wouldn't count on this guy ever turning into a long-term boyfriend. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author meded Posted November 21, 2017 Author Share Posted November 21, 2017 (edited) thanks for all your input guys.. something in the back of my mind was telling me he was only looking to hook up.. especially since he'd just gotten out of a 5 year relationship back in July... He just at times made it seem like he wanted more saying things like "i'll teach you how to snowboard one day," or we'll do "x" together one day. He also frequently commented on liking how goal oriented and hard working I was being in medical school..but I guess some men will say anything to get in your pants.. I still never heard from him yesterday following our date Sunday. He came over that night and no we didnt have sex so im guessing that also was because I failed to do what he wanted which was to be intimate lol.. I'm likely just going to ignore this guy the next time he contacts me, I know my worth far too well which is why I never chased him... Oh well. I'm finding a sad trend with the men I meet online..I think i'll just go back to regular dating as I don't generally have a problem being approached in person. thanks again! Edited November 21, 2017 by meded Link to post Share on other sites
Author meded Posted November 21, 2017 Author Share Posted November 21, 2017 Another red flag i didn't mention was that he invited me to some trip with him and his friends in Cabo BEFORE him and i had our first date.. i declined, but always thought that was so odd! Too many red flags: He got aggressive. I'd disregard that this fizzled out: it will return at some point.He didn't like that you didn't respond quickly, but then disappeared for a week (double standards).He claims he's only been interested in you, but is obviously seeing other girls (only reasonable explanation for the week long disappearing act).He stood you up on a scheduled date.The change in his behaviour occurred right after you declined to go to his place after the first date. This suggests his primary aim is hooking up. Personally, I'd stay away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author meded Posted November 21, 2017 Author Share Posted November 21, 2017 He is only interested in casual. If he wanted a real relationship with you he would tell you or at least be consistent. He was aggressive because he wants to sleep with you. Since you declined his offer he bailed on you. My guess is that you are an option, while he seeks out others. So do you recommend just blocking him or calling him out? I don't know where to go from here as far as my dealings with him are concerned. He never followed up the next day. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 So do you recommend just blocking him or calling him out? I don't know where to go from here as far as my dealings with him are concerned. He never followed up the next day. Calling him out is petty, blocking him is just as bad. When he contacts you again, just say no thank you, I'm not interested. Then block/delete him. Rejecting his advances makes you have the control. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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