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How would you answer this question?


goldengirl11

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Was reflecting on my dating life and recall a conversation I had with someone/my ex earlier this year... It came up about sleeping together again, when he asked if I would then think we were in a relationship. I was a bit taken aback/disappointed by his response at the time, so simply answered with "I know what you mean," which I feel was a pointless answer!

Sadly, I didn't sleep with him though, not until I discovered it was possibly too late i.e admitted he had quite strong feelings for (a married) someone else, who he's now seemingly committed to.

Any thoughts re how to answer this question to anyone in future? I guess it's probably best to say no, but let's see how things go?

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Umm, bit confused what the question is here?

 

"Would you sleep with an ex, and then think you're in a relationship again?"

 

If that's the question(s) then my answers would be NO, and NO.

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Thanks, but was meaning generally really

Whether a new person or not.

Umm, bit confused what the question is here?

 

"Would you sleep with an ex, and then think you're in a relationship again?"

 

If that's the question(s) then my answers would be NO, and NO.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

I don't understand what you're asking.

 

I would not sleep with an ex just to have sex with someone, no. Or to get back together. An ex is an ex is a reason; something I learned the hard way.

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Was reflecting on my dating life and recall a conversation I had with someone/my ex earlier this year... It came up about sleeping together again, when he asked if I would then think we were in a relationship.

 

He was asking if you were up for sex with no strings, a FWB arrangement, maybe even a one off...

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If you think by saying yes would increase your chances of it becoming a relationship....you'd be stupid to say yes, because 99.9% of the time it never happens.

 

When a guy approaches you for FWB, that means you are OK for sex, but not GF material. So remember that.

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I understood the inquiry to be --

 

 

just because you have sex with somebody does that physical act alone make you conclude that you are in an exclusive relationship with the other person?

 

 

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If you think by saying yes would increase your chances of it becoming a relationship....you'd be stupid to say yes, because 99.9% of the time it never happens.

 

When a guy approaches you for FWB, that means you are OK for sex, but not GF material. So remember that.

 

Or in my situation, there was someone else on the scene who he was seeing how it went with first maybe. Painful stuff!

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If you think by saying yes would increase your chances of it becoming a relationship....you'd be stupid to say yes, because 99.9% of the time it never happens.

 

When a guy approaches you for FWB, that means you are OK for sex, but not GF material. So remember that.

 

Or in my situation, there was someone else on the scene who he was waiting to see how it went with first maybe, so didn't want to commit. Painful stuff!

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Michelle ma Belle

I think d0nnivain got it right.

 

And the answer to that would be dependent on the person being asked.

 

Are you someone who is open to and can handle sex without any kind of commitment or not?

 

Would it make a difference if it were with a new guy or an ex?

 

There is no one universal answer to this so I'm not sure we could give you advice on how to answer this in the future if it were to ever happen to you again.

 

That's your call.

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LivingWaterPlease

In answer to your OP. If someone asked me that my answer would be...

 

"I'd be committed to and in an exclusive relationship with someone before sleeping with him." Saves a lot of confusion and issues that may arise otherwise!

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OP, if you normally have sexual relations outside of relationships/marriage and it is dependent on how you feel at a particular moment, that's a good answer for you. If other, clarify that into an answer.

 

IOW, if you'd normally have sex with people you're not in a relationship with, then the ex could be included in that group if you felt like having sex with him. That's a personal choice. You describe your own boundaries for sex and relationships.

 

For myself, loving relationships have come first, then sex as an expression of that love. After my exW and I split up, initially, meaning the intimacy of the marriage had been lost, I didn't want to have sex with her, not even if she'd have pursued it. I still wouldn't. That ship sailed when our relationship/marriage ended. Your psychology and boundaries of behavior likely differ. Do what you think is healthy for you. Good luck!

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Or in my situation, there was someone else on the scene who he was waiting to see how it went with first maybe, so didn't want to commit. Painful stuff!

No he would have had np sleeping with the both of you. And who's to say he is committed to this other woman? He could be sleeping and dating other women at the same time.

 

If he is smashing a married women, that says, not looking for a committed relationship. She's just someone he is screwing.

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No he would have had np sleeping with the both of you. And who's to say he is committed to this other woman? He could be sleeping and dating other women at the same time.

 

If he is smashing a married women, that says, not looking for a committed relationship. She's just someone he is screwing.

He felt guilty when we were intimate lately. In fact, he stopped halfway through! He's serious about her :-(

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He felt guilty when we were intimate lately. In fact, he stopped halfway through! He's serious about her :-(

LOL. No. People who are serious about someone, do not "get intimate" with someone else.

 

He isn't serious about either of you. He's just playing around.

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