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Is he taking his time or exploring options?

ktmiller222

By ktmiller222,
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ktmiller222

ktmiller222

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I've been on 3 dates with a guy in the last 1 1/2 months. The dates have been great and we have a good connection! The 2nd date, we kissed a few times before we left. The 3rd date, we held hands during a movie, was more flirty, and kissed a few times before we left.

 

He even talked about a 4th date and with how things have been timed, it will probably be within 2 weeks lol. We don't text every day. I'm used to guys contacting me everyday and wanting to see me every week if they like me. This guys is different and I like it. I want to know him better. I just don't know if he is taking his time, dating others, or if this is just how he is.

 

I don't want to be clingy so I let him go at his own pace. But I always don't want to be that girl that is being strung along. I'm ready to have more communication with him but I don't want to scare him away. What do you guys think?

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kassy

kassy

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Why don't you set up a 4th date and then ask him about what he wants, if he can see this going anywhere and about the level of contact on the date?

 

It could be a million things, but a chat with him about it will give you all the answers you need.

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ktmiller222

ktmiller222

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I met a guy from online a little less than 2 months ago. We hit it off and had a great time. He left for vacation after our first date so our second date was about 2 weeks after our first date. Our second date was great and we had our first kiss...it was simple and perfect. There was a month between our 2nd and 3rd date (he was out of town twice) and we don't text every day. For the third date, he asked when I was free and than I didn't hear from him. So a few days afterwards, I finally asked him about a 3rd date. I asked him if he still wanted to and that it was okay if he didn't. He definitely said he wanted too and set up something a few days later. The date was great again and we were more flirty and he talked about a 4th date. I am hearing from him a little more than I previously have but not as much as I would like.

 

It's been a week since our 3rd date and he hasn't talked about when the 4th would be. I know it's a holiday week so I am trying to stay patient.

 

I am used to guys contacting me all the time and setting up things right away when they liked me. So with this new guy, it's different than what I am used too. I know that I can plan it but since this is a slower dating process than what I am used too, I am scared. I don't want to scare him away if this is the pace he likes. I just feel like knowing someone for 2 months now, you should be seeing them more.

 

Do you think he is playing me? Or do you think he is just taking his time? I am really interested in him and he is different than the guys I have dated in the past. I just don't know what to do or say. I don't want him thinking I'm clingy but I would like to see him more. What is happening? What should I do?

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smackie9

smackie9

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He's not that interested....sounds like he is dating others and you are just an option.

 

I say if it doesn't feel right, that's because it's not. The key to dating is, if they start to suck, and they don't fulfill your expectations, dump the chump. Your time is better spent on the real thing.

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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In 2 months you have had 3 dates. Now it's the holidays. You don't have a lot of contact in between. This is something other than "taking his time". At best you are not a priority to him.

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stillafool

stillafool

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He's definitely dating other people too. Lately, it seems there are a lot of guys suddenly going on vacations after the first date...hmmm. Let him contact you.

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kendahke

kendahke

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H there are a lot of guys suddenly going on vacations after the first date...hmmm.

 

I dump them when they say they are going out of town.

 

Every time I didn't do this, it ended up that the guy was in a relationship but was on a break or was just mad at his girlfriend and wanted attention.

 

OP, if you're still too curious, then set up the 4th date; tell him when and where and pay for it. Ask him then if he's multidating and base your next move off of that bit of information.

 

It sounds to me as if you're in the bullpen with the rest of les vaches.

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IzabelaIsabelle

IzabelaIsabelle

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I agree with the others. He's multi-dating. Do you multi-date? If so, guys like this one will fall off early because they aren't stepping up enough to keep your attention off of other guys who are pursuing more. You could either dump him, or just date others and let him eliminate himself.

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ktmiller222

ktmiller222

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Thanks for the responses. He bailed on me this weekend saying he was sick. Although I would like to give him the benefit of the doubt, the track record on how often I see him makes me not believe him. I have a feeling he was probably with someone else or his buddies asked him to do something. It's okay if that happened but I rather have an honest answer. He probably won't asked me out this upcoming week, not even for an hour. That's all I wanted. But I guess I have to move on.....Ugh...I had such high hopes this this guy....the dating process sucks!

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ktmiller222

ktmiller222

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A guy I am dating had to take a raincheck on our date a week ago. It's been a week and he has texted twice that we should meet up but never followed through on it. Some weeks he'll text me a lot and there are some days I don't hear from him. I haven't heard from him since Thursday when he asked about meeting up. What is going on with him? I don't want to text him and come off like I am pissed/annoyed with this.

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mistycord

mistycord

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A guy I am dating had to take a raincheck on our date a week ago. It's been a week and he has texted twice that we should meet up but never followed through on it. Some weeks he'll text me a lot and there are some days I don't hear from him. I haven't heard from him since Thursday when he asked about meeting up. What is going on with him? I don't want to text him and come off like I am pissed/annoyed with this.

 

I was in a similar situation a while ago and I found out the guy was dating other women. I asked the guy straight out what he was looking for and he said casual dating whereas I was looking for a relationship so I obviously cut it off. Check in with him and ask him straight out what he's looking for if you haven't already. If you're cool with casual, stick with it. If not, end it.

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spiderowl

spiderowl

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Don't know what's going on with him but he is not interested enough for you to bother with him. I would forget him and move on.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

CautiouslyOptimistic

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A guy I am dating had to take a raincheck on our date a week ago. It's been a week and he has texted twice that we should meet up but never followed through on it. Some weeks he'll text me a lot and there are some days I don't hear from him. I haven't heard from him since Thursday when he asked about meeting up. What is going on with him? I don't want to text him and come off like I am pissed/annoyed with this.

 

Well, have you answered him saying you do want to get together? Maybe he's waiting for more of an interest from you.

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