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I'm prob kind of a food snob. He's not.


edgygirl

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So I went on two dates with this late 40s guy. He's a man's man, he loves meat and steak, and I am a pescatarian.

 

I could tell we would have problems matching our taste on our second date when we were looking for a restaurant before the event we went to. I saw a great sushi place and he was "eww". I LOVE sushi.

 

He picked a (cute) place with burgers, and much meat on the menu. I had soup, it was the only thing I could eat there.

 

Yesterday he told me he was with friends having chicken wings, which sounds gross to me.

 

He told me we should go to a "really nice dinner" today. He then proposes perhaps one of the best, fanciest steak house in the city. It's like $50 per plate so I don't think he's being cheap. And I was willing to keep him company and eat whatever... until my friend told me even the fish there tastes like meat.

 

I told him that and asked if we could pick another place. He suggested Italian, and I said sure. He then picks a "NY" Italian... not authentic and not appetizing from the online pics I saw.

 

So... all in all... I feel bad for being such a food snob, but I just have a refined taste cause I traveled a lot and ate in really fancy places.

 

What do I do? Give up on this guy? It sounds a little ridiculous but it's hard to deal. I have to call him soon and not sure what to do. Ugh...

Edited by edgygirl
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thanks enigma32. My problem is not the steak! It's the style of good he seems to like. As in, junk food mostly.

 

I actually see HIM as the picky eater. I just like quality food. I can always find something in almost any restaurant as long as it's of quality.

 

He likes junk style food I believe. American style junk. It grosses me out. Honestly though I don't mind that much what he eats, as long as he takes me to a place I can eat something.

 

I can't do American Italian style :/ As I know what real high level Italian is like, and it's not pasta with 3 pounds of disgusting cream.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
thanks enigma32. My problem is not the steak! It's the style of good he seems to like. As in, junk food mostly.

 

I actually see HIM as the picky eater. I just like quality food. I can always find something in almost any restaurant as long as it's of quality.

 

He likes junk style food I believe. American style junk. It grosses me out. Honestly though I don't mind that much what he eats, as long as he takes me to a place I can eat something.

 

I can't do American Italian style :/ As I know what real high level Italian is like, and it's not pasta with 3 pounds of disgusting cream.

 

Then go to the steak place and realize your friend might be wrong that "all the fish tastes like meat."

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I doubt it. Me and her have the exact same palate...

 

Also I know what she's talking about. Once I went to Kansas City where everything is about meat and in a fancy restaurant they cooked the fish with lard! Ahhhhh :sick: It did taste super weird.

 

I might have to give up... I don't think we are a good match food wise and that's hard for a couple.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
I doubt it. Me and her have the exact same palate...

 

Also I know what she's talking about. Once I went to Kansas City where everything is about meat and in a fancy restaurant they cooked the fish with lard! Ahhhhh :sick: It did taste super weird.

 

I might have to give up... I don't think we are a good match food wise and that's hard for a couple.

 

I think compromise can be harder than menu items :).

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Yep, two dates in this is good insight. IME, it's rare for discriminating eaters to get together unless they happen to have the same preferences. IMO, healthier to let things go and seek out a more compatible partner. I'm basing that on all the married couples I've known in life. It's super rare for both partners to be such eaters. Either one or the other, or both, is a 'whatever' eater.

 

When I have occasion to pay for dinners of such discriminating eaters in our social group, and watch the waitstaff inquisition when they order, I always tip generously, including on the G&T's I down while they review the food. Oh, my. ;)

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Alright. We were on the phone for half an hour and found a place we can both live with. And it's not Italian. I find it crazy that we couldn't find an Italian place we both like in a major US city.

 

He told me he likes old style Italian American; I'd never eat that.

 

Let's see if we can be a match romantically... seems hard. I'm on the sophisticated side for food and prefer adventurous and modern.

 

He reminds me of my father who only eats meat and is extremely picky which bothers everyone in the family. At least now I know the problem is him and not me. He even said that.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
Alright. We were on the phone for half an hour and found a place we can both live with. And it's not Italian. I find it crazy that we couldn't find an Italian place we both like in a major US city.

 

He told me he likes old style Italian American; I'd never eat that.

 

Let's see if we can be a match romantically... seems hard. I'm on the sophisticated side for food and prefer adventurous and modern.

 

He reminds me of my father who only eats meat and is extremely picky which bothers everyone in the family. At least now I know the problem is him and not me. He even said that.

 

Um what? :lmao: Nobody is the "problem" here. Having different tastes doesn't mean one is right and one is wrong.

 

I suggest if you want to keep dating this man you two compromise that you get to pick the place every other time and stick to "no chain restaurants."

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Not really... only someone who doesn't eat meat would get it. It's real :(

 

They use same pots to cook stuff so it ends up crossing tastes.

 

Yeah. That statement is a bit ridiculous.
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True. I even suggested that. That we each might have to pick a place every time and stick with it.

 

He recognized he's difficult to eat. He only likes comfort junky food and meat. I find him more picky than me. I will always find something to eat as long as the restaurant is good and not a steakhouse.

 

quote.gif

 

Um what? :lmao: Nobody is the "problem" here. Having different tastes doesn't mean one is right and one is wrong.

 

I suggest if you want to keep dating this man you two compromise that you get to pick the place every other time and stick to "no chain restaurants."

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Ruby Slippers

It sounds like a silly reason not to date someone, but hey, these days we have the freedom to be hyper-selective. While I appreciate and enjoy the best food, less than that isn't going to put a damper on my fun. However, I'm hyper-selective in other ways, so I understand.

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I agree. It's SO hard to find someone we like and who also likes us, I wasn't REALLY planning on giving up because of this. Still, it's a bit challenging. And I can't say it doesn't bother me that he doesn't have a refined taste. But maybe we can compromise as we did today. Let's see how it goes.

 

It sounds like a silly reason not to date someone, but hey, these days we have the freedom to be hyper-selective. While I appreciate and enjoy the best food, less than that isn't going to put a damper on my fun. However, I'm hyper-selective in other ways, so I understand.
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He told me he likes old style Italian American; I'd never eat that.

 

This statement shows you as being very picky too. I think it's poor form to be putting yourself above him in terms of who's right and wrong here. You're just incompatible.

 

Look, I totally get that similar eating habits are good to have. Personally, I'd want a partner who would eat anything from junk food to high class and from most cultures...and enjoy it for what it is. I'd probably find both of you too picky to bother with!

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Ok I prob did sound nasty / snobbish / too picky.

 

Let me correct that - I'd eat pasta with two pounds of cream/sauce... if I had no choice, as in a remote work trip in the middle of nowhere. But for a romantic Saturday dinner where I can choose... yeah, I prefer to pass :bunny:

 

I guess I am what Trumpkins call the latte coastal elite :laugh:

 

This statement shows you as being very picky too. I think it's poor form to be putting yourself above him in terms of who's right and wrong here. You're just incompatible.

 

Look, I totally get that similar eating habits are good to have. Personally, I'd want a partner who would eat anything from junk food to high class and from most cultures...and enjoy it for what it is. I'd probably find both of you too picky to bother with!

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Ok I prob did sound nasty / snobbish / too picky.

 

Let me correct that - I'd eat pasta with two pounds of cream/sauce... if I had no choice, as in a remote work trip in the middle of nowhere. But for a romantic Saturday dinner where I can choose... yeah, I prefer to pass :bunny:

 

I guess I am what Trumpkins call the latte coastal elite :laugh:

 

I don't eat meat or fish. I do eat dairy. I rarely eat out, cook from scratch mostly, and maintain a very healthy diet. However, I'm not a holier than thou type. You sound unreasonable to me (and not only about food), and I'm somebody closer to your diet "type" than he is.

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CautiouslyOptimistic

I'm having visions of going out to eat with my aunt. Nothing is eeeevvvvvveeeerrrr to her liking. Ever. It gets so annoying, always on edge...."will THIS be the night she gets a decent meal??"

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Hmm I can gladly eat McFish. But when you're in your 40s going on a first dinner date that's not exactly what I think of a Saturday night date.

 

Come on now guys. Are you really not getting my point?

 

Exactly! Sometimes, I take my GF out to the "best" places around. We were just in NYC the other day and I always make a point to visit the best restaurants whenever I go somewhere. Yeah, the food is good, but that doesn't stop me from enjoying a Big Mac sometimes, or from thinking I am better than someone else because of what they like to eat.

 

Basil, suddenly I feel like you'd be someone cool to sit down and drink a beer with. Not any of that cheap, American mass produced garbage either. My refined tastes only allow me to drink the finest microbrews.

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I'm having visions of going out to eat with my aunt. Nothing is eeeevvvvvveeeerrrr to her liking. Ever. It gets so annoying, always on edge...."will THIS be the night she gets a decent meal??"

 

They don't call her "edgygirl" for nothin'! :laugh:

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It's quite the opposite actually. I always find something to eat, as long as the restaurant is not too *****ty or a steakhouse. The issue is this guy has the OPPOSITE taste I do. I know as he loves all the things I dislike.

 

Hey I'd appreciate if you all now stop the bullying. Thanks!

 

I'm having visions of going out to eat with my aunt. Nothing is eeeevvvvvveeeerrrr to her liking. Ever. It gets so annoying, always on edge...."will THIS be the night she gets a decent meal??"
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CautiouslyOptimistic

Has this been an issue in past relationships or have you always had "food" in common with your partners?

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Yeah, how the opposite tastes are expressed has bearing as well. That trends to communication styles.

 

In my example the discriminating eaters were/are 'out there' with everything, meaning they're vocal with their likes and dislikes and are happy to expound at length and in great detail. Another person could be equally discriminating but the only result of that is their selection, whether that be restaurant or cuisine or item. Similar personal milieu but different style of communication.

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No never been an issue. Most men are carnivores, I am totally fine with that.

 

Seriously, I sent this guy the menu for a Mario Batali restaurant - he didn't see ANYTHING he liked. What the H?

 

It was cheaper than the steakhouse he wanted to take me, so I don't think price is the problem. He is really super picky but in a meat/junk food kind of way.

 

Has this been an issue in past relationships or have you always had "food" in common with your partners?
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It's quite the opposite actually. I always find something to eat, as long as the restaurant is not too *****ty or a steakhouse. The issue is this guy has the OPPOSITE taste I do. I know as he loves all the things I dislike.

 

Hey I'd appreciate if you all now stop the bullying. Thanks!

 

I think this guy is not the guy for you as he is a pretty traditional American

meat eater and you are basically a vegetarian who eats fish.

 

I would guess his core values are vastly different from yours too and in his late forties he is probably not going to want to be "educated " into your way of thinking either.

 

And it is not "picky" to not want your food contaminated with meat either, it is pretty standard practice nowadays to keep such foods well separated.

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Well he's from NY born and raised. If you guys tell me you don't see anything you like in this menu below, I will agree that I might be the problem then. I find it almost impossible not to find ONE thing to like here: Menu - Lupa New York

 

I think he's just like my father... not adventurous with food, and always sticks to the meat/potatoes/shrimp/whatever. I find it so boring :( For me it shows lack of intellectual curiosity, which bothers me, although he seems quite intelligent. Elaine is right. He said he's not going to get "educated" with palate at this age.

 

Anyway, thanks for the insights... gonna go get ready to meet him ;)

 

Btw he insists he's not right wing in Politics, but after seeing this menu he said I'm a "typical liberal". And said this is the kind of food he and his friends laugh about. WTH?

 

I've been to Batali's restaurant in NYC, and most of the stuff on the menu there will seem like gibberish to many people. You aren't going to win him over by showing him a menu full of crap he has never heard of.

 

When it's your turn to pay, take him there and explain some of the menu items to him.

Edited by edgygirl
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