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Had a fantastic date, is this okay to send the following day?


amazonrambo

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Had a fantastic date last night. Met someone who ticks all that I want with a girl, but obviously trying not to get my hopes up too soon.

 

I teased her a fair bit, was charming, smooth, etc. There were no awkward silences and we were both touching each other a lot. When we were bowling she was literally falling into my arms.

 

After we left bowling and had a drink there, we walked over to a different bar. During the course of walking over there, I stopped and turned to her and she asked why we were stopping. I guided her by the arm, pulled her in to kiss her. She reciprocated and we continued walking. She then said “very smooth” and I said “I always go for what I want” with a smirk.

 

We drank at the bar, flirted a lot etc. We talked about travelling at some point, what would be her place of choice and we both found out we had Italy in common. She then started using “we” like we were already planning it, not sure she realised this.

 

At the end of the date I took her to her tram stop and pulled her in to kiss again. She passionately kissed me and put her arms around my neck. I slowly moved my head away after a few seconds but it was like she couldn’t get enough and she continued kissing me. After a few seconds I slightly pulled away, then she tugged me by the top of my shirt and pulled me in to kiss again.

 

I then said “That’s all you’re getting for now” and I smirked at her. She then slapped me on my chest and said “Oh ha ha...” with a smile.

 

It’s the following day but wondering what to text.

I was planning to say “Had a great time with you last night. Still can’t believe you pulled off that strike.. Looking forward to the next time”. (Strike being in bowling).

 

That okay to send?

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Sounds good to me. But maybe also ask if she is free on X day to go to/do y.

 

Might as well make it clear what you want then you get clear feedback.

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^^^Kassy's on point.

 

If you go for what you want, then do so. You've opened that door; now it's time to prove you weren't full of it when you said it.

 

Case in point: I was seeing a guy from OLD and in the early days of us talking, I'd told him about a bad experience I'd just gotten out of with a scammer on OLD when he contacted me on the site. He said to me "I'm the better man". That struck me like a bolt of lightening, as no other man has ever said that to me in my life. So, in my mind, I was like "Ok, I want to see this". Guess what? He was just talking isht. He turned out not to be anything like a better man--only in his head was he this.

 

Follow through on what you claim because you don't know if your words struck her intrigue and she wants to see it borne out.

Edited by kendahke
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I was planning to say “Had a great time with you last night. Still can’t believe you pulled off that strike.. Looking forward to the next time”. (Strike being in bowling).

 

That okay to send?

 

Absolutely NOT. This type of phrase come across as not interested enough to book a second date. Tell her you had a great time and ask her if she's free (insert date) to (insert activity).

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Absolutely NOT. This type of phrase come across as not interested enough to book a second date. Tell her you had a great time and ask her if she's free (insert date) to (insert activity).

 

Disagree. It is not incumbent upon you to ask for a second date the next morning. Thanking her for a good time and showing intention to go out again is perfectly fine. Women are always telling us to show our cards while they play theirs close to the vest. You do not need to telegraph the next move. Waiting a couple days will build anticipation, which is a good thing. Just don't wait tooooo long.

 

When women give men dating advice, they'll say what they want instead of what works.

Edited by salparadise
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Eternal Sunshine
Absolutely NOT. This type of phrase come across as not interested enough to book a second date. Tell her you had a great time and ask her if she's free (insert date) to (insert activity).

 

Agreed.

 

A vague statement will likely have me opening Bumble and chatting to other prospects. It would make me think that the guy is not that interested.

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Agreed.

 

A vague statement will likely have me opening Bumble and chatting to other prospects. It would make me think that the guy is not that interested.

 

You like them to let you know they're hooked, then you can pretend to be mildly interested... less than he is, and let the chase begin :laugh:

 

It's a wonder that I've ever gotten laid in my whole life... I've been doing it all wrong.

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Thanks guys, I can always rely on you for solid advice.

 

I went along with “Had a great time with you last night. Still can’t believe you pulled off that strike.. When are you next free to get together? x”

 

I find it’s always best to let her suggest days she’s free because I work awkward hours. I did this last time and it worked out.

 

Not had a reply for a couple of hours but she’s been a very slow texter from the start. One of my replies was on Wednesday night and I didn’t get a text until Friday morning asking where we were meeting, so at least she remembered.

 

I’m all fine with that anyway as there’s more to talk about in person.

 

She liked it how I was secretive and said it intrigued her compared to other guys she spoke to before she had a date with them. I kept that play up in person, but revealing little bits at a time.

 

If I don’t hear from her I’ll be shocked, but probably give it a couple of days before reaching out one more time. That’s assuming she does not reply though.

Edited by amazonrambo
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mortensorchid

Can I make a suggestion as well as ask a question? Do you really like this woman? If so, then I suggest that you CALL her do not text. Texting is a passive form of communication, calling is direct. If you REALLY WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN that will send the message to her that this is what you intend. I have been out on many a date (OLD or otherwise but mostly OLD) where I will get a text from the man the next day and he will say something like "I had a very nice time last night thanks" and I reply "Thanks I did as well". And ... Either those two texts will be the end of it or we will text for another day or two and then one party sends the other a "good morning" text and the other never responds to it. Never ONCE have I had a man tell me via text that he wants to see me again. I have had them reject me via text, to be sure.

 

Just hoping you'll have something good happen and trying to help you get those good things.

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Can I make a suggestion as well as ask a question? Do you really like this woman? If so, then I suggest that you CALL her do not text. Texting is a passive form of communication, calling is direct. If you REALLY WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN that will send the message to her that this is what you intend. I have been out on many a date (OLD or otherwise but mostly OLD) where I will get a text from the man the next day and he will say something like "I had a very nice time last night thanks" and I reply "Thanks I did as well". And ... Either those two texts will be the end of it or we will text for another day or two and then one party sends the other a "good morning" text and the other never responds to it. Never ONCE have I had a man tell me via text that he wants to see me again. I have had them reject me via text, to be sure.

 

Just hoping you'll have something good happen and trying to help you get those good things.

 

I agree completely. What ever happened to calling and talking vs this texting garbage?

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I sent the text a couple of hours ago. Should I call Sunday evening if I get no reply? And then be done with it if she doesn’t answer.

 

I know she’s a slow texter but I’m worried she might not reply. The chemistry was there, all the signs she was interested in me like kissingg my face off at the end, reciprocating my kiss during the date, touching me a lot, asking a lot of questions. I’d have bet my own life on her liking me, but suppose it’s my luck.

 

Still early days but I’d like to know we can set up another date.

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This is a lot of overthinking here. What you sent OP is fine.

 

Contacting a woman after a first date is not like diffusing a bomb. If a woman is interested in you she generally makes it easy for you to see each other again.

 

After a good first date I usually text a woman right when I get home thanking her for a fun evening, and then the next day asking how her day is going. Then in conversation (a few exchanges) I set up plans for the next date Easy. Works for me.

 

As far as the texting vs calling, I usually ask a woman what she prefers early on. BUT I can hardly imagining a woman in her 20s (OP's age I believe) not responding to the texts of a guy she just went on a great date with, just because she really wants a phone call.

 

Anyway OP if she is interested she'll respond. If in case she does not you can try calling her in a couple days w specific date plans in mind.

Edited by Imajerk17
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Definitely make plans. Most guys who only write "I had a good time, it was great to meet you" without making plans on first text tend to disappear.

 

We like decisive men, and to show interest in the beginning you need to always be planning the next date - even if you're busy and it's 2 weeks from now. Suggest a day.

 

Sounds good to me. But maybe also ask if she is free on X day to go to/do y.

 

Might as well make it clear what you want then you get clear feedback.

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For those bashing texting... I disagree. It really depends on the person.

 

Millenials hate calling. I am in my 40s and also hate calls. Text is fine. I don't think anyone should force doing something they're not comfy with.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
I sent the text a couple of hours ago. Should I call Sunday evening if I get no reply? And then be done with it if she doesn’t answer.

 

I know she’s a slow texter but I’m worried she might not reply. The chemistry was there, all the signs she was interested in me like kissingg my face off at the end, reciprocating my kiss during the date, touching me a lot, asking a lot of questions. I’d have bet my own life on her liking me, but suppose it’s my luck.

 

Still early days but I’d like to know we can set up another date.

 

How much alcohol was involved?

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How much alcohol was involved?

 

Not much, it was more of a drink alongside food, plus we'd both eaten something before the date too. At bowling we both had a small bottle of beer each. She also ordered a glass of water.

 

When we went to the bar she had one cocktail and one glass of wine. She had eaten before the date as she didn't realise we were going out to eat, but we both shared some chicken at the restaurant.

 

I've seen drunk and she wasn't drunk, even partially drunk. She acted exactly how she was at the start of the date compared with when we were walking around outside after the bar. You can usually tell if someone is drunk if you know how they were sober.

 

When I pulled away several times from the kissing, I could tell she was in the moment with it.

 

If I compare this to my previous dates with the last two girls, there was more of a romantic vibe than a friendly one, like a lot of touching, flirting, teasing, etc. I've been doing more learning about where I went wrong on dates and I think it's helped me in some way at least. I seem to be giving off more of the romance vibe which is what I want.

Edited by amazonrambo
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CautiouslyOptimistic
Not much, it was more of a drink alongside food, plus we'd both eaten something before the date too. At bowling we both had a small bottle of beer each. She also ordered a glass of water.

 

When we went to the bar she had one cocktail and one glass of wine. She had eaten before the date as she didn't realise we were going out to eat, but we both shared some chicken at the restaurant.

 

I've seen drunk and she wasn't drunk, even partially drunk. She acted exactly how she was at the start of the date compared with when we were walking around outside after the bar. You can usually tell if someone is drunk if you know how they were sober.

When I pulled away several times from the kissing, I could tell she was in the moment with it.

 

If I compare this to my previous dates with the last two girls, there was more of a romantic vibe than a friendly one, like a lot of touching, flirting, teasing, etc. I've been doing more learning about where I went wrong on dates and I think it's helped me in some way at least. I seem to be giving off more of the romance vibe which is what I want.

 

You have no clue if what she ate before the date included a few drinks also, though. You might NOT have seen the sober her.

 

Just playing devil's advocate because "kissing your face off" isn't typical first date behavior. At least not in my world :).

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You have no clue if what she ate before the date included a few drinks also, though. You might NOT have seen the sober her.

 

Just playing devil's advocate because "kissing your face off" isn't typical first date behavior. At least not in my world :).

 

I tend to agree. It seems pretty fast for a first date, and there's no baseline upon which to compare her behavior.

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You have no clue if what she ate before the date included a few drinks also, though. You might NOT have seen the sober her.

 

Just playing devil's advocate because "kissing your face off" isn't typical first date behavior. At least not in my world :).

 

Fair point, but she didn't come across as someone who was drunk. She was wearing high heels and we walked a bit of a distance, never lost her balance once, her speech wasn't slurred or anything. But yeah it was unexpected.. Maybe she wasn't expecting the confidence from me to go for the kiss during the date and she got more attracted to me.

 

Does seem quick, very forward but we'll see if there's a date #2.

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Turns out I got a text last night but I was out myself. I replied this morning.

 

She said “Yeah it was really fun :) I am so proud of myself to be honest. I think I'm free next Saturday if that suits you x”

 

I replied “Yeah, I’m free Saturday. Meet you outside that tram stop I dropped you off at for 6pm? x”

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Sounds very promising! Enjoy!!

 

Thanks! Glad I took your advice. I’ll see how she responds to it.

 

I’m generally an overthinker, but should I be worrying that she said she “thinks” she’s free on Saturday or just assume it’s her way of saying she is free? Only as you’d either know or you don’t. Just sounded like she might be waiting for something better to come up!

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CautiouslyOptimistic
Thanks! Glad I took your advice. I’ll see how she responds to it.

 

I’m generally an overthinker, but should I be worrying that she said she “thinks” she’s free on Saturday or just assume it’s her way of saying she is free? Only as you’d either know or you don’t. Just sounded like she might be waiting for something better to come up!

 

You're overthinking. Maybe it was a self preservation move on her part.

 

Why is she proud of herself? Is she normally shy or something?

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You're overthinking. Maybe it was a self preservation move on her part.

 

Why is she proud of herself? Is she normally shy or something?

 

That was in response to me saying "Still can't believe you got a strike in bowling.." as she told me she was terrible at it.

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