groovy_intolerance Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 I'm a 25 year old male and have never had a strong presence in the dating scene. About 2 years ago I met the biggest crush of my life, even if I didn't realise it at the time. We hung out a lot, walked her dog and went to the cinema with her family etc. I finally started to realise I had feelings for her and wanted to pursue our friendship/relationship further. At about this same time she had made plans to work abroad for a year of studies. This lead to a very awkward and upsetting sequence of events when I admitted how I felt and was rejected. Everything seemed like it was going to be perfect up to that point. She went cold. That year has now passed and I have been on a few Tinder dates trying to move on. Some of them have been successful and had potential for second dates, but ultimately I have let fizzle out in stagnation. I feel like an awful person for trying to branch away but it has helped my self esteem. She has now returned, and we have bumped into each other at 2 different functions. At the first event we hardly made contact. At the second event we spoke more due to mutual friends. Just before I was about to leave this second event she came and found me just as I was leaving. This may seem small, but in over a year of her seemingly avoiding me, she came to me. I was half drunk, bemused and said "It was good to see you, goodnight". I have lost all direction now and thinking about the situation makes me well up. Where do I go from here? Do force myself to break away? Do I do something? I'm filled with regret for how things should have been. Link to post Share on other sites
kassy Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 If you want a second shot, ask her out on a date and you'll get your answer pretty fast one way or another. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author groovy_intolerance Posted November 17, 2017 Author Share Posted November 17, 2017 I asked the same thing on Reddit and got the same response. I think you and Reddit are right. There is nothing else to lose in this situation (other than some possibly some awkward future social events). I'll let you know this goes: "Hey [x]! Are you around this weekend? Do you want to meet up, get a drink, have a chat? We haven't spoken properly in ages :)" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 Now that she's back, the time could be right to pursue a relationship. I can understand her avoidance of getting involved before leaving. She's back. For starters, make some efforts to talk to her instead of trying to avoid her. If she's receptive, then ask her out. She sought you out after this last gathering. I think there's some potential. Yes, if she's not interested, it could lead to some awkward situations, but you won't know if this can go somewhere until you try. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author groovy_intolerance Posted November 17, 2017 Author Share Posted November 17, 2017 I've messaged her a couple of times since she has been back a couple of times. She was responsive the first time, but not the subsequent time. Also, whilst she was away a mutual friend asked "how I'm doing" on behalf of her, which I thought was odd. To be honest, the whole situation is odd and confusing me. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 I'm sorry, OP, but she's not interested in you. There's nothing to lose by trying again, but be prepared for another rejection. Her pleasantries mean nothing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 I think if YOU still having feelings for this girl and want to try another kick at the can, then go for it. At least you can rest your head at night knowing you tried, albeit again. Just be prepared for rejection or that being with her may not be quite as magical as you've been hoping and dreaming. Sometimes the illusion is far more satisfying than the reality of it all. I'm all for making an effort if it's something you feel strongly about, just be prepared that it may not work out with her in the end. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author groovy_intolerance Posted November 17, 2017 Author Share Posted November 17, 2017 @MidwestUSA You're probably right but I clearly just want to hurt myself more @Michelle_ma_Belle I caught "feelings" for her over a year a go. We spent a lot of time together, out doing things until she left. I would hope it was just like that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 @MidwestUSA You're probably right but I clearly just want to hurt myself more Some of us are just gluttons for punishment. Good luck to you! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author groovy_intolerance Posted November 17, 2017 Author Share Posted November 17, 2017 Thank you. If for some reason she says yes, what sort of place should I take her? Coffee shop? Ice Cream Parlour? Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 Thank you. If for some reason she says yes, what sort of place should I take her? Coffee shop? Ice Cream Parlour? Keep it simple and easy, coffee shop would be ideal. There is always time to ramp things up with dinner once you know you're both on the same page about what it is you're doing. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author groovy_intolerance Posted November 17, 2017 Author Share Posted November 17, 2017 I've asked her if she's free this weekend to go get a drink and have a catch up. My fingers are crossed although, my anxiety levels are through the roof. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author groovy_intolerance Posted November 18, 2017 Author Share Posted November 18, 2017 "Seen 8:12" Link to post Share on other sites
kassy Posted November 18, 2017 Share Posted November 18, 2017 Any reply? Link to post Share on other sites
Author groovy_intolerance Posted November 18, 2017 Author Share Posted November 18, 2017 Nope, nothing I would prefer it if she was just honest. I should have called her up to talk about it. I think I'm going to spend the rest of the day playing video games with a few cold ones, maybe treat myself to a takeaway. Thank you guys for helping Link to post Share on other sites
kassy Posted November 18, 2017 Share Posted November 18, 2017 Sorry that's the way it's worked out. But at least now you know for sure then you can lick your wounds and move on easier.dont feel bad, you know dating can be pants but it can also be great. You'll be fine Link to post Share on other sites
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