What’s wrong with this girl?

[Grey40]

This girl started messaging me on Instagram and we chatted for a while back and forth. We eventually decided that we both wanted to see each other and go out on a date. I got her number and after some chat set up a time/place and a definite date. We agreed to go see a concert together. Date was made for Thursday night, we agreed on this date on Saturday). ) she seemed excited and would text a bit that night later on. The next day (Sunday)?she didn’t reach out to me at all which I thought nothing of because the date was already sent.

 

I texted her On Monday morning asking how her day is, and telling her that I was planning on buying the concert tickets today. She never responded. I realized that her Instagram feed wasn’t showing up. Found out she had blocked me on Instagram randomly. No idea why, thought that was really strange. Texted her again that night asking if she had blocked me on Instagram and why, no response.

 

Luckily added her on Snapchat also the first night we talked. So I messaged her on there on Tuesday maybe thinking there was something up with her phone or texting. She answered my Snapchat saying that she was “sorry for the delay! just been so overloaded with work!” I said no worries are you still good for Thursday? No response.

 

So now Thursday rolls around still haven’t heard from her. Sent her one more snap this morning asking her when she gets out of work so we can meet up for dinner before the show (that was the plan). She didn’t respond but did snap me backs picture of herself with a filter on it. What the hell is going on? Is she seeing someone else and just can’t have the decency to tell me that?

[Imajerk17]

Are you sure "she" is a real person OP? There are certainly scammers on social media.

 

If you are sure that whomever you were chatting with is indeed a girl and she represented herself fairly, what may have happened is (a) she was just flirting for attention/to feel better about herself and had no intention of meeting up (b) once the date was set she panicked over the idea of meeting up with a stranger. Either of which, sad to say, are not uncommon reactions. As far as (a) and (b) above are concerned she may not have really been single!

 

I really hope you didn't spend a lot of money on those concert tickets. And if you did, that you can put those concert tickets to good use--without her. And in the future, no expensive first dates, especially for a girl you never even met.

Edited November 16, 2017 by Imajerk17

[basil67]

Go back to the beginning. When she started messaging you in Instagram, was she a total random? It sounds like you've only got her on social media. Do you have her phone number?

[olivetree]

After you found out you were blocked I would have stopped messaging.

Chasing flakes never works, nevermind ones that block you without a word.

She's not worth another thought!

[Highndry]

After you found out you were blocked I would have stopped messaging.

Chasing flakes never works, nevermind ones that block you without a word.

She's not worth another thought!

 

Exactly. I don't understand these guys who don't take a hint. If a gal ignores even a single text of mine that was a question which needed to be answered in order for the date to go forward, I'm done. Blocking? Pffft.....NEXT.

[Grey40]

Are you sure "she" is a real person OP? There are certainly scammers on social media.

 

If you are sure that whomever you were chatting with is indeed a girl and she represented herself fairly, what may have happened is (a) she was just flirting for attention/to feel better about herself and had no intention of meeting up (b) once the date was set she panicked over the idea of meeting up with a stranger. Either of which, sad to say, are not uncommon reactions. As far as (a) and (b) above are concerned she may not have really been single!

 

I really hope you didn't spend a lot of money on those concert tickets. And if you did, that you can put those concert tickets to good use--without her. And in the future, no expensive first dates, especially for a girl you never even met.

 

 

She’s definitely a real person. And no i never bought the tickets haha I’m not that gullible. I needed much more confirmation from her before i would have went ahead with something like that.

[Grey40]

Go back to the beginning. When she started messaging you in Instagram, was she a total random? It sounds like you've only got her on social media. Do you have her phone number?

 

I said directly in my post that I got her number. That’s what happens you skim before you reply.

[Grey40]

After you found out you were blocked I would have stopped messaging.

Chasing flakes never works, nevermind ones that block you without a word.

She's not worth another thought!

 

Yeah you’re 100% right. Was just hoping for the best I guess. Lesson learned.

[salparadise]

She's a flake. That's all you need to know. Any energy you spend trying to create a psychological profile is completely waisted. Here's a word that will save you a ton on angst... NEXT!

[Grey40]

Exactly. I don't understand these guys who don't take a hint. If a gal ignores even a single text of mine that was a question which needed to be answered in order for the date to go forward, I'm done. Blocking? Pffft.....NEXT.

 

Yeah the blocking thing really pissed me off. There was really no need for her to do that. What was the purpose? Ignoring me would have been sufficient and I would have got the hint. Blocking me but continuing to answer my snapchats makes no sense. The only thing that struck me is that maybe she has boyfriend or is seeing someone and blocked me on Instagram and on texting so he wouldn’t find out she’s talking to other people. A lot of cheaters do hide their “affairs” using Snapchat these days because the messages and pictures delete Instantly and there’s no way to really track activity.

[alphamale]

dude this is the classic blow off. why can't you see that?

[Grey40]

Exactly. I don't understand these guys who don't take a hint. If a gal ignores even a single text of mine that was a question which needed to be answered in order for the date to go forward, I'm done. Blocking? Pffft.....NEXT.

 

dude this is the classic blow off. why can't you see that?

 

my ego didn’t want to see it. I really don’t understand why women agree to a date though and then disappear. Why not just ignore me from the beginning? Or make up an excuse. When girls have blown me off it’s usually much more clear like they totally don’t respond and it never even gets to setting up a date. They either tell me straight up they aren’t interested or stop responding/come up with excuses why they can’t meet. Most don’t agree and then dissapear..that’s fairly new to me.

[basil67]

I said directly in my post that I got her number. That’s what happens you skim before you reply.

 

And you didn't answer my question about whether she was a total random. That's what happens when you skim a reply.

 

It's a serious question: Was she a total random? If so, why would she contact you? My guy feeling is that she was just bored and you were the victim of her games.

[Grey40]

And you didn't answer my question about whether she was a total random. That's what happens when you skim a reply.

 

It's a serious question: Was she a total random? If so, why would she contact you? My guy feeling is that she was just bored and you were the victim of her games.

 

Haha nice comeback. She was a total random. She liked and commented on a few of my posts and then messaged me out of the blue. That is a good question. I think she contacted me because she was genuinely attracted and interested (we are into the exact same bands and music, which she could see from my profile.) my guess is that she was messing around and not taking it seriously..maybe was bored or looking for attention with maybe a slight hope that something might come out of it. She probably didn’t think AT ALL that I would seriously end up asking her out that quickly. She was probably just taken back by shock a little bit.

[Grey40]

So she ended up sending me a long Snapchat message like 10 min ago:

 

“Hey! So Sorry! I really apologize we couldn’t go out tonight i have so much going on right now and this was just too last minute for me this week. I think we should meet up and hang out and get to know each other more before seeing a show. But we should definitely go see some shows together! I own my own business so i just get overwhelmed and bogged down with work all the time. If we get some tickets or set a plan, I would definitely make it work!”

 

Now like, why would you send me that if you’re not interested? Maybe just a nice way of blowing me off? Instead of just ignoring because now she feels bad? Sometimes these girls are tough to read.

Edited November 16, 2017 by Grey40

[olivetree]

So she ended up sending me a long Snapchat message like 10 min ago:

 

“Hey! So Sorry! I really apologize we couldn’t go out tonight i have so much going on right now and this was just too last minute for me this week. I think we should meet up and hang out and get to know each other more before seeing a show. But we should definitely go see some shows together! I own my own business so i just get overwhelmed and bogged down with work all the time. If we get some tickets or set a plan, I would definitely make it work!”

 

My guess is that she messaged you because she was lonely and needed her ego stroked and was never actually interested in meeting up, or because she actually thought you were cute but was turned off by you asking her out too soon.

Hence the disappearing act.

 

Now, for whatever reason she has popped back up again.

My prediction: repeat her getting weird and dropping off, because she will have lost respect/attraction for you chasing her like that.

 

Do not respond.

[Highndry]

My guess is that she messaged you because she was lonely and needed her ego stroked and was never actually interested in meeting up, or because she actually thought you were cute but was turned off by you asking her out too soon.

Hence the disappearing act.

 

Now, for whatever reason she has popped back up again.

My prediction: repeat her getting weird and dropping off, because she will have lost respect/attraction for you chasing her like that.

 

Do not respond.

 

She's a wishy-washy flake. She may actually follow through and meet up with you sometime, maybe not. The bottom line is that you know she's of poor character, so it's "at your own risk" at this point.

[Grey40]

My guess is that she messaged you because she was lonely and needed her ego stroked and was never actually interested in meeting up, or because she actually thought you were cute but was turned off by you asking her out too soon.

Hence the disappearing act.

 

Now, for whatever reason she has popped back up again.

My prediction: repeat her getting weird and dropping off, because she will have lost respect/attraction for you chasing her like that.

 

Do not respond.

 

Too late already responded and said I’d be down to meet up normally and take it from there and asked if she was free this weekend. I’ll see what she says, but yeah I’m done chasing her at this point. If she makes some excuse or blows me off, I’ll just forget her and move on. She’s not the only girl I’m talking to, so I’m making her low priority.

[Imajerk17]

OP if there is anything I've learned it is to Not Chase The Flakes. You will save yourself so much sanity.

 

A weak last-minute apology when she had all early this week to get back to you in a timely fashion but did not....that's no good. By responding back to her though, that's another week that she will be in your headspace, and she is likely to flake again.

 

You don't have time for this.

[olivetree]

Too late already responded and said I’d be down to meet up normally and take it from there and asked if she was free this weekend. I’ll see what she says, but yeah I’m done chasing her at this point. If she makes some excuse or blows me off, I’ll just forget her and move on. She’s not the only girl I’m talking to, so I’m making her low priority.

 

Based on your posting history, it's the chasing and this kind of response that you need to change if you want to be more successful in dating.

She blocks you, ignores you and then reappears with an insincere apology and and you instantly ask her when she is free.

What you're communicating indirectly is that you don't value yourself.

[Cookiesandough]

She's messing around. She is not interested. Do not buy the tickets. Move on. Next time don't chase people around to different SM platforms when they block you.

[Highndry]

Based on your posting history, it's the chasing and this kind of response that you need to change if you want to be more successful in dating.

She blocks you, ignores you and then reappears with an insincere apology and and you instantly ask her when she is free.

What you're communicating indirectly is that you don't value yourself.

 

This is it in a nutshell. This gal is playing him like a violin. The only option when running into these types is to completely reject them the moment they show flakiness. Only if they are profusely apologetic with a solid reason for flaking and show considerable effort in trying to remedy the situation should they even be given an ear, and even then it's a poor idea. She is a low quality score.

[smackie9]

Sounds like you got friend zoned. NEXT!

[Grey40]

She blocks you, ignores you and then reappears with an insincere apology and and you instantly ask her when she is free.

What you're communicating indirectly is that you don't value yourself.

 

Well the blocking I don’t get. She agreed to a date and it was set, I didn’t continue to text her afterward or chase or anything..she just decided to block me for no reason. She got herself into this situation by agreeing to the date, so she’s equally to blame here.

 

How do you know for sure that her apology is insincere? I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and always offer a second chance. Iam a total stranger to her basically and i definitely probably came on a bit too strong, so maybe she just had to think about it some more. I’ve met women in the past who did similar dissapearing acts but not because they weren’t interested by because the timing was just bad—things were going on in their lives that were out of control and that didn’t allow them to date for whatever reason.

 

Don’t value myself? Because i didn’t brush her away and ignore completely? I’m not that cold like you guys. What I’m showing is that **** doesn’t bother me and I’m not going to throw a temper tantrum like a 5 year old just because she dissapeared. The truth is I’m still attracted and if she comes around and wants to hang out i will. I’m not going to spend any time or effort on her at the moment, I’ll be moving on but I’m not going to shut the door on someone just because they behaved poorly one time.

[Grey40]

Sounds like you got friend zoned. NEXT!

 

What makes you think that? You don’t friend zone people you’ve never met.