Social anxiety

[knight192]

Hi,

 

I started talking to that girl on Tinder and we quickly got along. Few days later she gave her number without me asking.

Later on she asked me when I planned to come and see her and offered me to ring her to see if we get along on the phone.

We arranged a call and when I did she didn't pick the phone up.

The next day she apologised to me saying she really regret to haven't answered but she was really anxious about it and she would like to rearranged a call.

I told her that it was understandable and if she wants to the call doesn't have to last very long the first time.

I called her then the next day and it went pretty well. She even told me she enjoyed our call by text.

We carried on texting the next days, and I offered to call her again another night but she said she wasn't available.

Then I didn't heard of her for 2 days so I offered her to come see her.

She only answered a week later apologising for the delay and saying she has been away and that she find hard texting sometime and that she has got social anxiety.

 

I only answered to her 2 days later as I was away as well and busy and told her that I understand and that I am not the best to text either. Also I asked her what kind of social anxiety she had and if it was what block her to call me or see me.

 

One week later she still didn't answer to this last text.

 

I really like her but I don't see what else I can do but to move on. Anything I can do to help the situation and hope seeing her at some point ? Thanks for your kind advices

[d0nnivain]

She doesn't want to meet you. She only wants to play at this . . . through text. Either take that for what's it worth (practically nothing) or move on but don't imagine she's going to be willing to meet any time soon.

 

 

You may also be getting catfished.

[knight192]

She doesn't want to meet you. She only wants to play at this . . . through text. Either take that for what's it worth (practically nothing) or move on but don't imagine she's going to be willing to meet any time soon.

 

 

You may also be getting catfished.

 

How do you come to the conclusion that she doesn't want to meet me and that she is a "player" ?

[Highndry]

How do you come to the conclusion that she doesn't want to meet me and that she is a "player" ?

 

By her actions. She is completely ignoring you. If she liked you, she would be doing anything but that. Move on.

[smackie9]

She's done....move on.

[smackie9]

How do you come to the conclusion that she doesn't want to meet me and that she is a "player" ?

She is merely making suggestions, that there is a possibility, this is what is going on.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

She may very well have social anxiety that YOU would be willing to work through with her, but the fact that she hasn't messaged back in a week probably means she's just not willing to do this with you .

[d0nnivain]

How do you come to the conclusion that she doesn't want to meet me and that she is a "player" ?

 

 

She is not a player. A player is somebody who is manipulative at the game of love, who is suave, smooth & enjoys social actions.

 

 

This chick is playing games. A very different sin. She is on a OLD site, the biggest hook up one at that. She texts you for a while then gives you her #. When you call she doesn't pick up. When you ask about that she gives you some BS about social anxiety. Not buying it. She wants you to chase her. She is playing hot / cold push /pull to see if you will dance to her tune & yup you are. You chase & finally have a phone conversation. Seriously a phone conversation with voice -- not a major commitment by any means. When you offered to call again she's not available but doesn't give you an alternate suggestion. Again she's trying to see how many hoops she can make you jump through. She disappears for a week. Yet you chase offering to gout of your way & go see her. Then she tells you some more BS about how difficult it is for her to text. Is she kissing? Texting is the most disconnected method of contact there is. It's not mechanically challenging especially for a millennial or younger (I am presuming she had her phone with her 24/7. Texting requires zero emotion & very little effort. It's now been a week with no contact.

 

 

What else do you need to be convinced she will never meet you because she's a time waster?

[Scarlett.O'hara]

The girl you have been talking to isn't ready to start dating. Perhaps there is part of her that does, but she clearly isn't able to do so.

 

The most she can offer is sporadic texting, which doesn't sound all that appealing for someone looking for real life romantic connection.

 

At this point there is nothing more you can do, apart from move on. Online dating is full of people who are unavailable or looking for some sort of attention.

 

My advice, learn to look for the warning signs early and cut your losses with time wasters.

[smackie9]

If you are getting the run around, why are you chasing? Move on.

[normal person]

If she doesn't want/feel comfortable with talking, texting, or meeting you, there's not much else you can do. You can't force someone's hand. I'd move on.

[rushed]

It wouldn't hurt to shoot her one last text.

 

As someone who suffers from social anxiety I can relate to her behavior. I've cancelled dates in the past because of it. And when a guy wants to talk to me on the phone? Ugh!

 

If she really does have social anxiety then patience is your best friend here, provided you really like her and want to make the effort.

[JEG88]

Plenty of fish dude, move on.

 

Social anxiety or not, you haven't even met her. You're taking a lot of effort for something that is rough from the start.