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I got fed up that it wasn’t going anywhere, did I say the right thing?


amazonrambo

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I have a thread already but thought this deserved a seperate topic.

 

Had two great dates with a girl. Before the first date we were communtating a LOT. She was giving me 4-5 lines, acted interested, it felt easy. After date one, I asked her to text me when she got back and she did. I asked when she’s next free and she said “I’m free whenever you are :)” and we set the date up on the spot, 15-20 minutes between replies.

 

Since date two, the communication has dropped dramatically. She’ll take hours not minutes to respond, etc. Since asking her out on another date I got “Haha, maybe when I have some money :)”. Three days after when I send her a text I get this:

 

Me: So I’ve had a weekend of robbing banks, near death experiences and chocolate ice cream.. Can you top that? ;)

 

Her (hours later): Sounds thrilling :’) I’m so so hungover

 

Me: haha, are you free to meet after work on wednesday at 5:30? There’s a golf place, my treat

 

Her (5 mins after): I train on Wednesdays, Thursdays are my night off :)

 

Me (10 mins after): I won’t finish until 8:30 on Thursday unless you want to meet then or we can meet Friday

 

Then 4 hours pass and I get no reply so I send before going to bed:

 

Me: I’ve got to get an early night so why don’t we just do this some other time when your schedule is more open

 

I felt like I needed to walk away because she was making it hard to meet up, like taking hours instead of minutes to reply, not setting definite dates, etc. She said she was free Thursday but I was busy and she didn’t get back to confirm a day. Did I do the right thing by walking away?

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Well, for a start , she told you she was so hung over but you still bugged her all night , even expected her to o out, l would've thrown the phone at ya, ahh , if you were closer.

 

the rest , dunno.

Sounds like she had a good time without ya though , not really feelin the love myself.

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I have a thread already but thought this deserved a seperate topic.

 

Had two great dates with a girl. Before the first date we were communtating a LOT. She was giving me 4-5 lines, acted interested, it felt easy. After date one, I asked her to text me when she got back and she did. I asked when she’s next free and she said “I’m free whenever you are :)” and we set the date up on the spot, 15-20 minutes between replies.

 

Since date two, the communication has dropped dramatically. She’ll take hours not minutes to respond, etc. Since asking her out on another date I got “Haha, maybe when I have some money :)”. Three days after when I send her a text I get this:

 

Me: So I’ve had a weekend of robbing banks, near death experiences and chocolate ice cream.. Can you top that? ;)

 

Her (hours later): Sounds thrilling :’) I’m so so hungover

 

Me: haha, are you free to meet after work on wednesday at 5:30? There’s a golf place, my treat

 

Her (5 mins after): I train on Wednesdays, Thursdays are my night off :)

 

Me (10 mins after): I won’t finish until 8:30 on Thursday unless you want to meet then or we can meet Friday

 

Then 4 hours pass and I get no reply so I send before going to bed:

 

Me: I’ve got to get an early night so why don’t we just do this some other time when your schedule is more open

 

I felt like I needed to walk away because she was making it hard to meet up, like taking hours instead of minutes to reply, not setting definite dates, etc. She said she was free Thursday but I was busy and she didn’t get back to confirm a day. Did I do the right thing by walking away?

 

i would stop sending her any more texts if she doesnt get back to you then just let her go she seemed happy for a meetup on thursday all you can do now is be patient if u keep sending more texts she will just get annoyed .

do you like this girl if so why not just wait to see if she gets back if not then so be it find someone else lol

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I wouldn't have sent that last text, but I think you did the right thing by leaving it up to her. It seems like she has lost some interest but it's not completely over yet, since she still gave you that Thursday option.

 

Just wait till you hear from her. If you don't get a reply, or if she doesn't offer an alternative, it's probably done. That sudden texting drop off is usually a bad sign though

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I wouldn't have sent that last text, but I think you did the right thing by leaving it up to her. It seems like she has lost some interest but it's not completely over yet, since she still gave you that Thursday option.

 

Just wait till you hear from her. If you don't get a reply, or if she doesn't offer an alternative, it's probably done. That sudden texting drop off is usually a bad sign though

 

She also posted on Facebook this morning as well. I was going to send her a message saying that I’ll take the hint and leave it, good luck with things etc but guess I’m best just removing her from Facebook instead.

 

A girl who likes you doesn’t make it this difficult. Sure she said she’s free Thursday but I said it’d have to be late on or Friday. No reply, then a post by her on facebook so I’m not being disrespected or ignored anymore and I’ll pursue someone else.

Edited by amazonrambo
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Your texts might be causing her to fall asleep. Telling her you robbed a bank when you didn't, had near death experiences when you probably didn't, and ate chocolate ice cream which I'm guessing you did, is all incredibly boring.

 

If you want to catch her attention after a night of heavy drinking and probably talking to other guys you have to do better than that. Bring up something she finds interesting and stimulating. Not some fake shtick about your weekend.

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Please do not reach out to her anymore. You've made your intent clear, that you want to see her again, and she is giving you the brush off...for whatever reason.

 

She is trying to "be nice" and hoping you'll take the hint that she doesn't want to get together.

 

And whatever you do, do NOT post anything on her fb page about taking the hint and leaving. You're only seeking reassurance that she, in fact, does NOT want you to leave. You're asking for more breadcrumbs!

 

Speak with your actions, not words.

 

Remove her from all your social media and move on.

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I wouldn't have sent that last text, but I think you did the right thing by leaving it up to her. It seems like she has lost some interest but it's not completely over yet, since she still gave you that Thursday option.

 

 

My first take reading her texts, it's over. The "Ha Ha ...when I have money" would have sealed it for me. That is a pretty blatant response saying she could if she really wanted to. There are so many ways she could have said she'd like to but money is tight. Frankly, she more or less laughed at you asking her out again and despite being free. The Ha Ha part seems like she is trying to show she doesn't consider your request very seriously.

 

 

Assuming you pay for dates you ask her on, that is even more damning. She could have said you could come over and watch a movie or something like that being free.

 

 

To me her response was like asking a friend of a friend you think is interested for their phone number and having her say something like, "Oh, sure. Amy has my number, just get it from her". She doesn't say no, but doesn't give you her number. Here she didn't say no, but she more or less blew off your request.

 

 

I'd just move on and if she reached out again I bet it was a 'how are you doing?' text and not a 'let's get together' text. Big difference.

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Please do not reach out to her anymore. You've made your intent clear, that you want to see her again, and she is giving you the brush off...for whatever reason.

 

She is trying to "be nice" and hoping you'll take the hint that she doesn't want to get together.

 

And whatever you do, do NOT post anything on her fb page about taking the hint and leaving. You're only seeking reassurance that she, in fact, does NOT want you to leave. You're asking for more breadcrumbs!

 

Speak with your actions, not words.

 

Remove her from all your social media and move on.

 

I like this advice, it hits home. I’ll go with it and just remove her from social media.

 

Just one thing.. When I asked her about Wednesday, why did she offer me Thursday? I know if girls are interested they offer alternative days, which she did and used a red cheek emoji with it.

 

I need to follow a girl’s actions, not what she says. That makes sense so i’ll stick to it.

 

Either way, I sent those texts and the following morning she posted about her mum’s birthday but didn’t reply to me so yeah I’ll just remove her.

 

Thank you for the advice.

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My first take reading her texts, it's over. The "Ha Ha ...when I have money" would have sealed it for me. That is a pretty blatant response saying she could if she really wanted to. There are so many ways she could have said she'd like to but money is tight. Frankly, she more or less laughed at you asking her out again and despite being free. The Ha Ha part seems like she is trying to show she doesn't consider your request very seriously.

 

 

Assuming you pay for dates you ask her on, that is even more damning. She could have said you could come over and watch a movie or something like that being free.

 

 

To me her response was like asking a friend of a friend you think is interested for their phone number and having her say something like, "Oh, sure. Amy has my number, just get it from her". She doesn't say no, but doesn't give you her number. Here she didn't say no, but she more or less blew off your request.

 

 

I'd just move on and if she reached out again I bet it was a 'how are you doing?' text and not a 'let's get together' text. Big difference.

 

Damn, this hit the nail on the spot. This is what my gut was thinking but guess I didn’t want to believe it.

 

I was thinking if I was in her position and didn’t have money, I’d suggest something free, but maybe she was a proud and independent person.

 

To be honest the following night, she went out with her work friends to a bar and posted it on Facebook, then went out with her friend drinking the following night. Either they paid for her or she was fibbing. I just see that as a sign of disrespect. Even ignoring my two texts last night then posting on Facebook this morning, her loss!

 

I’m deleting her and focusing on someone who might like me.

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Just one thing.. When I asked her about Wednesday, why did she offer me Thursday? I know if girls are interested they offer alternative days, which she did and used a red cheek emoji with it.

 

That I can't answer. Maybe it was more of trying to let you down easy???

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The "Ha Ha ...when I have money" would have sealed it for me. That is a pretty blatant response saying she could if she really wanted to. There are so many ways she could have said she'd like to but money is tight. Frankly, she more or less laughed at you asking her out again and despite being free. The Ha Ha part seems like she is trying to show she doesn't consider your request very seriously.

 

The "ha ha" thing is what a lot of young people start their conversations with... I've seen it in threads on here... it's just like pretentious young adults using the word "So" every time when answering new questions, as if they're continuing a train of thought when they're not.

 

It clearly says to me that she didn't have it. OP didn't come back and say "don't worry about it, I got you...", so she let it all fall by the wayside because she's over that.

 

What is clear is that OP is way more thirsty over this chick than she is over him, and probably has been for the entire time they'd been seeing each other, but he didn't pick up on it. She probably has changed her mind about getting to know OP and is taking the coward's way out instead of just telling him "look, I'm not interested at this time. Thanks", because she doesn't know how he's going to react since she doesn't know him. It sucks, but that's how many young women handle these types of things. Don't take it personally. Find someone new who lives for texting.

 

OP--she may not be a texter, so she's not going to maintain the 30 texts/day from her. Being on facebook isn't being in an exchange with someone who, clearly from what is written here, expects a large amount of texting back and forth to be satisfied. Some people just don't like texting outside of conveying information. The phone still dials and rings, so you could also call her and cover way more ground than in a protracted texting adventure--have you tried using that approach yet?

 

Other than that, I'd say that by her actions, she's over this, so take a hint and move on yourself, OP.

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Cookiesandough

She is not very interested...I don't think texts would have changed much since she's been on dates with you. If she was interested she would be jumping at the opportunity to see you. There are very obvious ways women act when they are interested, and this is not it. These are blow offs. I think you would be doing the right thing by nexting her and moving on to the next chick

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The "ha ha" thing is what a lot of young people start their conversations with... I've seen it in threads on here... it's just like pretentious young adults using the word "So" every time when answering new questions, as if they're continuing a train of thought when they're not.

 

It clearly says to me that she didn't have it. OP didn't come back and say "don't worry about it, I got you...", so she let it all fall by the wayside because she's over that.

 

What is clear is that OP is way more thirsty over this chick than she is over him, and probably has been for the entire time they'd been seeing each other, but he didn't pick up on it. She probably has changed her mind about getting to know OP and is taking the coward's way out instead of just telling him "look, I'm not interested at this time. Thanks", because she doesn't know how he's going to react since she doesn't know him. It sucks, but that's how many young women handle these types of things. Don't take it personally. Find someone new who lives for texting.

 

OP--she may not be a texter, so she's not going to maintain the 30 texts/day from her. Being on facebook isn't being in an exchange with someone who, clearly from what is written here, expects a large amount of texting back and forth to be satisfied. Some people just don't like texting outside of conveying information. The phone still dials and rings, so you could also call her and cover way more ground than in a protracted texting adventure--have you tried using that approach yet?

 

Other than that, I'd say that by her actions, she's over this, so take a hint and move on yourself, OP.

 

Yeah that was the impression I got, but didn’t want to believe it.

 

In fact she is quite the opposite, she was the one who insisted on us texting a lot before we met. I’m the one who isn’t into texting much as I’d rather get to know each other in person but she wanted to know more about me before meeting so I went along with it.

 

She’s removed from Facebook now so I’ll focus on a date I have this Friday, if it still goes ahead. Probably just get talk to other girls and just have options.

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Hope you find someone more interested in you as I have had while having a bowl of soup at Pamera Bread earlier this month!;)

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Yeah that was the impression I got, but didn’t want to believe it.

 

In fact she is quite the opposite, she was the one who insisted on us texting a lot before we met. I’m the one who isn’t into texting much as I’d rather get to know each other in person but she wanted to know more about me before meeting so I went along with it.

 

She’s removed from Facebook now so I’ll focus on a date I have this Friday, if it still goes ahead. Probably just get talk to other girls and just have options.

 

This is a giveaway that she isn't really interested. It isn't so much how often/how responsive is via text, but how that *changes* as you get to know someone. That her texting has dropped off says it a lot. Sorry OP.

 

Furthermore, she was evasive when you were trying to set something up, and she blew off not only this, but also your OTHER attempt at setting up a date with her i.e., "I have no money" (your previous thread).

 

 

[Meanwhile I'm just curious about something. What is the trend with guys here texting girls stuff about robbing banks, near-death experiences, and/or rescuing kittens stuck in trees. You aren't the only poster I've seen do this, it seems to be sort of thing. Does Corey Wayne teach this or something? :confused: Seems kind of goofy to me]

Edited by Imajerk17
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It's clear that she's not interested in you. I'm not sure if you are young and inexperienced, but a woman who's interested leaves almost NOTHING to the imagination. She will be there for the taking. Women understand that they can't play games with guys they are interested in because they could push them off for good and they're not going to risk that.

 

That being said, I wanted to mention your "robbing banks and near death experiences" thing. That's not going to be attractive to women. It sounds contrived, desperate, fake - insert your adjective here. As a guy, I found it cringe-worthy. I would jettison that whole routine and be authentic, using text for clear communication.

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newyorker11356
That I can't answer. Maybe it was more of trying to let you down easy???

 

Trying to let someone down easy is the worst way to let someone down, lol.

 

Just be direct, or EVEN ignore the texts if you have to.

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On the day I base my moves based on the turaround time for texting, will be the day I openly state there is no hope for humanity.

 

Unbelievable.

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Hope you find someone more interested in you as I have had while having a bowl of soup at Pamera Bread earlier this month!;)

 

Thanks, I hope so too. One day I’ll find someone who reciprocates my interest, but I seem to be struggling to get around this “can’t get past the second date” curse.

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Trying to let someone down easy is the worst way to let someone down, lol.

 

Just be direct, or EVEN ignore the texts if you have to.

A

Yeah I agree. I respected the last girl who was up front to me about it. Can’t say I’ll have respect for this one.

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This is a giveaway that she isn't really interested. It isn't so much how often/how responsive is via text, but how that *changes* as you get to know someone. That her texting has dropped off says it a lot. Sorry OP.

 

Furthermore, she was evasive when you were trying to set something up, and she blew off not only this, but also your OTHER attempt at setting up a date with her i.e., "I have no money" (your previous thread).

 

 

[Meanwhile I'm just curious about something. What is the trend with guys here texting girls stuff about robbing banks, near-death experiences, and/or rescuing kittens stuck in trees. You aren't the only poster I've seen do this, it seems to be sort of thing. Does Corey Wayne teach this or something? :confused: Seems kind of goofy to me]

 

No he’s against texting altogether, that it should be used purely for setting dates. That works if you get a girls number in person but not so much with OLD. Girls usually want some comfort before meeting a stranger.

 

If I’m texting, I prefer to keep it light hearted and fun. I hate boring “how are you”, “how was your weekend”. I use examples like you mention to trigger some sort of “role play”. It worked with my ex girlfriend, but over time I slacked on it and used boring texts, communication got boring, etc

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