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Why Would He Say, "I Want You To Know You Are Turning Heads"?


sandy123

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Hi, everyone,

 

I joined a civic organization earlier this year. One of the leaders took me under his wing to show me the ropes. I considered him a mentor. He's in his mid-40s, and I'm in my early 30s.

 

After several months, I started noticing him staring at me when he did not think I was looking, but I did not think anything about it, even though I felt an awkward vibe between us. It was odd, but I could not identify the reason for the vibe.

 

Then, his smiles and "puppy dog eyes" started, and the light bulb finally went off in my head. I caught him slyly checking me out a few times, too. We continued working on projects together, but he never made a move. He kept it professional, and I went with the flow. After 6 months, I figured that he just had a slight crush that subsided. It happens.

 

HOWEVER, he's made several comments over the last few weeks that make me wonder if he is over the crush.

 

1. Our organization had a charity event a few weeks ago, and I mentioned that I probably would have to wear a red dress, even though red is not my color. He texted, "WILL LOOK GOOD ON YOU". Yes, he wrote in all caps, even though the rest of his text was in lowercase.

 

I chalked it up to him just being nice.

 

2. There are around 6 of us working as a team on an upcoming holiday event. He and I met separately last weekend to focus on a key component. His regular job is pretty time consuming. We met at a cafe, and his colleague kept calling him about a problem. I told him that it was no big deal; he could focus on his job, and I could push our session back to another day.

 

He replied, "No. Our meetings together are the most enjoyable part of my week. It's what I like best." He was looking at his laptop when he said it, and he immediately started talking about our project. I did not have a chance to respond.

 

3. Now, THIS is what I find odd, and I am confused. We had a club meeting a week ago. I pulled up first and walked towards the building's entrance. Two guys were exiting, and they started flirting with me. I smiled and continued on my way. He pulled up only a minute or two later than me because he passed the guys after I went it.

 

This week, we had another meeting. After the meeting, we walked to our cars together. Suddenly, he started smiling and said, "I Want You To Know You Are Turning Heads". I was so confused. He explained that he had seen the guys checking me out and said that it was a compliment. He was smiling big when he said it. He had reminded himself all week to tell me. He looked amused and...proud?

 

I find it odd that if he has a crush on me that he would think it's cute that guys are hitting on me and that I am turning heads. Maybe I had been misinterpreting his intentions all this time.

 

What is the purpose of him wanting me to know that those guys had been checking me out? They were random strangers, so most likely I will never see them again.

 

What do you think?

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Cookiesandough

Perhaps he was paying you a compliment because he finds you to be very attractive. I think if he were interested in more he has had plenty opportunity to escalate by now. He doesn't seem shy. He seems pretty bold, in fact, to say that.

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He's a clumsy flirt. Are you interested in him or do you want advice on how to shut down his comments?

 

Not sure...I really don't like mixed signals.

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Perhaps he was paying you a compliment because he finds you to be very attractive. I think if he were interested in more he has had plenty opportunity to escalate by now. He doesn't seem shy. He seems pretty bold, in fact, to say that.

 

Was it bold, or was it just teasing an associate / friend? He did not say I turned his head or that he finds me attractive. He was teasing me about those guys checking me out.

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Cookiesandough

"I want you to know you are turning heads" seems bold to me. same with the "would look good on you" I can't see e a shy guy going in like that??

Do you know for certain he is single/

Edited by Cookiesandough
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If he made a move would you be excited or not? Are you attracted to him? Would you want to date him?

 

He sounds like he likes you and is trying very hard to let you know without crossing professional boundaries in case you don't feel the same but isn't getting any indication from you if you are keen

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Was it bold, or was it just teasing an associate / friend? He did not say I turned his head or that he finds me attractive. He was teasing me about those guys checking me out.

 

Doesn't sound like your so into him. He's just being nice too you with compliments. I do that at work with the female managers. I'll say you look your best with you hair down than up. My, my, my you are looking great, staying so young looking. You'll never grown old with those looks and smile. He's doing the same thing with you without hitting on you. Turning heads your making the wave (moving on, making people notice you). Sounds like he's just a great co-worker and that's about it. If you want to take it to the next level he would have to agree.

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"I want you to know you are turning heads" seems bold to me. same with the "would look good on you" I can't see e a shy guy going in like that??

Do you know for certain he is single/

 

He's divorced, but I do not know for certain whether he is in a relationship; he's never mentioned one, but that does not mean anything.

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Cookiesandough

I say there's no harm in a little flirt back with him to give him some encouragement if you are interested. Who knows, maybe he is nervous

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If he made a move would you be excited or not? Are you attracted to him? Would you want to date him?

 

He sounds like he likes you and is trying very hard to let you know without crossing professional boundaries in case you don't feel the same but isn't getting any indication from you if you are keen

 

I am taking a break from dating and relationships right now. Yes, I do find him attractive. I am new to the club and want to avoid any drama.

 

I agree with your bottom comment. I just found out odd that if he's attracted / likes me that he would find it amusing to let me know I am turning other guys' heads. If anything, I would think that he has no interest in me.

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Doesn't sound like your so into him. He's just being nice too you with compliments. I do that at work with the female managers. I'll say you look your best with you hair down than up. My, my, my you are looking great, staying so young looking. You'll never grown old with those looks and smile. He's doing the same thing with you without hitting on you. Turning heads your making the wave (moving on, making people notice you). Sounds like he's just a great co-worker and that's about it. If you want to take it to the next level he would have to agree.

 

The difference between you and him is that earlier this year, I caught him checking me out several times and the puppy dog eyes several times. I have been out of the game for a lil bit, but I noticed. I pretended like I did not notice, though.

 

The looks stopped, so I just assumed that he lost interest and moved on. It's why his comments over the last few weeks have surprised me.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
Not sure...I really don't like mixed signals.

 

Um, these are not at all mixed signals. It's like a freaking fog horn. Are you dense?

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CautiouslyOptimistic
I am taking a break from dating and relationships right now. Yes, I do find him attractive. I am new to the club and want to avoid any drama.

 

I agree with your bottom comment. I just found out odd that if he's attracted / likes me that he would find it amusing to let me know I am turning other guys' heads. If anything, I would think that he has no interest in me.

 

I'm not sure why you take it that way, but I don't at all.

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I agree with your bottom comment. I just found out odd that if he's attracted / likes me that he would find it amusing to let me know I am turning other guys' heads. If anything, I would think that he has no interest in me.

 

Are you American? I'm asking because this is a normal compliment men say to women in the US when they think you are dressed nice. You are reading too much into it.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
Are you American? I'm asking because this is a normal compliment men say to women in the US when they think you are dressed nice. You are reading too much into it.

 

I didn't even think maybe she's not American. It could make sense why she's confused :).

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I'm not sure why you take it that way, but I don't at all.

 

Sorry, I guess I am dense. Which way do you take it?

 

I HAVE heard the term turning heads before. My confusion is that I have never seen a guy use it in THIS way when going out of his way to bring it to my attention a whole week later.

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CautiouslyOptimistic
Sorry, I guess I am dense. Which way do you take it?

 

I HAVE heard the term turning heads before. My confusion is that I have never seen a guy use it in THIS way when going out of his way to bring it to my attention a whole week later.

 

I hope I didn't offend you by using the word "dense." I said it with a smile :). Some people really are clueless when someone is interested. I think the reason he said it a whole week later is because he was thinking of you during the week because he likes you. AND he may have been like, "Oh man! I should have said XYZ!"

 

This guys likes you, plain and simple. Just make sure he's not already in a relationship!

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I hope I didn't offend you by using the word "dense." I said it with a smile :). Some people really are clueless when someone is interested. I think the reason he said it a whole week later is because he was thinking of you during the week because he likes you. AND he may have been like, "Oh man! I should have said XYZ!"

 

This guys likes you, plain and simple. Just make sure he's not already in a relationship!

 

Thank you. It takes me a long to figure out that a guy likes me unless he is really bold and asks me out within a week or two.

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LivingWaterPlease

Sounds as if he's flirting with you but possibly not getting any feedback from you so holding off on asking you out until he gets some vibes from you that you'd be interested in going out with him. Why don't you try flirting back with him since you're interested?

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He likes you but he's being cautious because of the work situation. Give him the go signal and report back some good news instead of all the downer threads that litter this site.

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Sounds as if he's flirting with you but possibly not getting any feedback from you so holding off on asking you out until he gets some vibes from you that you'd be interested in going out with him. Why don't you try flirting back with him since you're interested?

 

@LivingWaterPlease

 

I guess he mentioned me "turning heads" to say in a roundabout way that I am attractive? He's never commented on my looks, and even this comment was about OTHER guys finding me attractive.

 

It was an unexpected comment, and I am kind of shy, so I really had no response but to acknowledge that the guys were hitting on me. Then, I quickly changed the subject before leaving.

 

I'm not the type to reply, "Well, do I turn *your* head?"

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LivingWaterPlease
@LivingWaterPlease

 

I guess he mentioned me "turning heads" to say in a roundabout way that I am attractive? He's never commented on my looks, and even this comment was about OTHER guys finding me attractive.

 

It was an unexpected comment, and I am kind of shy, so I really had no response but to acknowledge that the guys were hitting on me. Then, I quickly changed the subject before leaving.

 

I'm not the type to reply, "Well, do I turn *your* head?"

 

I think he was testing the waters to see how you responded to him when he said you were turning heads. He took the conversation into the realm of male/female attraction to see what your reaction would be. It was a flirtatious comment from him, not the other guys. Don't know what your workplace is like but possibly he doesn't want to say anything blatant for concern about venturing into the realm of what could be construed as sexual harassment.

 

Saying, "Well, do I turn "your" head?" would seem more awkward to me that flirtatious. In your place if both of you are single and you're interested in him I would have looked him in the eye (turned my head, not body, toward him as the two of you were walking) with a smile and a twinkle in my eye, kind of with a look that you have something you're thinking about but not going to say. He probably would have grinned real big and that would have been a moment of emotional connection.

 

But, you didn't blow it by not saying anything. Just remember when he flirts you don't have to say a word if you can't think of anything appropriate. Just smile as if you're thinking of a secret. Get playful. If you don't know how, don't worry about it, practice with him. Most of us had to learn at one time or another.

 

When he texts you with something such as about looking good in the red dress you can send him a smiley face right back. A smile is always appropriate and it tells him he hasn't stepped over the line or offended you. But, remember, if you smile at him in person (rather than sending the smiling emoji) try to look him in the eyes at the same time you're smiling.

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