LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Romantic > Dating

Iím guessing this was a rejection? Feels like one


Dating Dating, courting, or going steady? Things not working out the way you had hoped? Stand up on your soap box and let us know what's going on!

Like Tree15Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 9th November 2017, 7:52 PM   #16
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cookiesandough View Post
its too many dates in a row too close together for me. I don't know how much time the average woman likes to spend when first meeting a guy but that's too much for me personally
Yeah that's what someone else said elsewhere. Couldn't she have arranged something for next week though? I did ask when she was free. She thought my facebook status was about her too so she seemed worried enough to ask me about it, then she tagged me in a picture. Meh, I'll reply to her texts 1:1 when she does and just give her space. On Sunday I'll give it one last chance then I'll just take the hint and move on. Rather not blow my money on someone who doesn't want to spend time with me Starting to feel like she'd prefer the attention off guys than effort of dating someone.
amazonrambo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th November 2017, 7:56 PM   #17
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by CautiouslyOptimistic View Post
Well, she seems very obsessed with her lack of money. She's only 23 so I'd hardly expect her to be wealthy. I don't know what to say, except maybe be leery that she's building you up to pay for everything if you continue to date her?? This is an odd one.
She was insistent in going half on the food and felt guilty about it. I appreciated her offering but said I'm fine with paying. I'll get my answer on Sunday.

I'll continue replying to her texts for now, same old jokey self like I've been doing before with her, I won't change my tone and just keep it positive. Sunday is the deadline though, then I'm moving on.
amazonrambo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th November 2017, 7:57 PM   #18
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1fish2fish View Post
Instead of asking when she's free, maybe be more specific and suggest a day, time, and activity.

Her response and if she suggests an alternate day (if she's not free on the day you suggest) will tell you if she's interested.
I've always found it easier to ask a girl what days she is free so she can give me a couple and I can compare it to when I'm free.

I'll try this on Sunday though, so at least I've covered both bases and I'll move on if I get another excuse.
amazonrambo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th November 2017, 8:04 PM   #19
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: California
Posts: 301
She could just be really embarrassed that she doesn't have enough money at the moment to pay her own way. I would just try a "Hey, I got two tickets to (insert movie/concert/show name) Friday night. Wanna come with?" That takes the pressure off her as it implies you've already bought tickets, and it also suggests a day.
rushed is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th November 2017, 8:14 PM   #20
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by rushed View Post
She could just be really embarrassed that she doesn't have enough money at the moment to pay her own way. I would just try a "Hey, I got two tickets to (insert movie/concert/show name) Friday night. Wanna come with?" That takes the pressure off her as it implies you've already bought tickets, and it also suggests a day.
There's a comedy club I mentioned near where she works, it's right around the corner. She visited me straight after work on Wednesday so I know that could work. Yeah, sure.. I like this idea. Takes the pressure off. If she gives me an excuse then I'll move on. If she gives me a "maybe" I'll ask what other day works for her then if not, maybe some other time.

If she's interested in seeing me, she'll make time, so it's her last chance. Another reason why I'm leaving it for Sunday is because we've been on two dates this week and maybe she thinks it's going too fast if we had a third.

When we first started talking, on the day of the first date, she cancelled and gave me an excuse about "family problems" and asked if I was free the following weekend. I kept my cool, like I've done today and she then went on to say she was really sorry and wanted to meet me but we could get to know each other more over text in the week leading up to the date. This lead me to think there wasn't family problems, she just wanted to get comfortable talking more over text first..

This feels similar to today's situation. Even though she is short on cash, I don't think lack of money is the real reason.. I think it's because there's too many dates TOO soon and she's trying to hint for me to slow down. I mean there was no reason for her to waste effort replying to my text or tagging me in a picture, would have been easier to ghost from that moment really
amazonrambo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th November 2017, 8:55 PM   #21
Established Member
 
KBob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: 'berta
Posts: 402
I think she's just playing a little hard to get. People on here telling you the frequency of your dates being too soon or too little is purely their opinion; there's no set rules to this, you play it how you choose. If you think she's puling away because of too much too soon, then ask her if she's ok with the frequency of communication. Only you two will decide how much you want to see each other.

But she's definitely into you. She got a little jealous from your Facebook status and wanted to find out if it was about her, so that's a good sign, it means she was worried you were done with her. Just keep doing what you're doing. If she pulls away with no explanation or answers, do the same. If she comes back and contacts you, everything is still cool.
KBob is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 9th November 2017, 9:10 PM   #22
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by KBob View Post
I think she's just playing a little hard to get. People on here telling you the frequency of your dates being too soon or too little is purely their opinion; there's no set rules to this, you play it how you choose. If you think she's puling away because of too much too soon, then ask her if she's ok with the frequency of communication. Only you two will decide how much you want to see each other.

But she's definitely into you. She got a little jealous from your Facebook status and wanted to find out if it was about her, so that's a good sign, it means she was worried you were done with her. Just keep doing what you're doing. If she pulls away with no explanation or answers, do the same. If she comes back and contacts you, everything is still cool.
Yeah, it's why I'm confused. By no means was I trying to "play games" by writing that status, I just wanted to put something positive about what I had done that day, only to notice when she called me out about it I realised.

I'm only replying 1:1. I won't send a text until mine is answered, even if it requires no answer. I did feel like it was unessessary effort to ask about my facebook status and to tag me in a picture moments later. I know for certain that if a girl I wasn't into was making the same statuses, I wouldn't bother asking why unless I was into them (as I'd be worried it was about me, which has actually happened to me in the past and I've asked on the basis of being worried).

I know women test a lot, whether they do it purposely or without knowing. I think her first test was to cancel our first date last minute to see how I'd react, I acted cool so she ended up seeing me. She could be doing the same to see if it wasn't all an act, to see if I'm actually some psycho because we won't know each other well, it's only been two dates.

I'll focus on other things. I'll keep you guys updated, but I'm very pessimistic about this.. Thanks for your help so far.
KBob likes this.

Last edited by amazonrambo; 9th November 2017 at 9:13 PM..
amazonrambo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th November 2017, 7:18 AM   #23
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 169
1pm the next day and noticed there's been no text from her. My reply (which was brief) was explaining what my facebook status meant and didn't warrant a reply, but she usually does to keep the conversation going, usually before 9am before she starts work. I've noticed the texting has tapered off a lot, we were texting each other a lot during the day (a text every hour or two) and now we're not. Is this normal once you get comfortable with someone? I understood all the texting before a first date, because she'll have wanted to get to know me being a stranger, etc, but now it's gone down significantly. I'd have thought you'd be texting more if you liked someone.

My gut feeling is she doesn't feel it and is too nice to say or she just prefers someone else, that's fine but I wish that could be said so I could move on. I'll just keep backing off until Sunday and see if she accepts my date invite. It's all about actions over words really.
amazonrambo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th November 2017, 8:16 AM   #24
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 636
I think give it one more shot.

For the texting it could be lack of interest. It could also be she wants to get to know you in person now that you've met, and doesn't yet know you well enough to chit chat about daily stuff. I find that stage awkward texting but that could be just me.
kassy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th November 2017, 8:56 AM   #25
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by kassy View Post
I think give it one more shot.

For the texting it could be lack of interest. It could also be she wants to get to know you in person now that you've met, and doesn't yet know you well enough to chit chat about daily stuff. I find that stage awkward texting but that could be just me.
Before the first date we were talking about daily stuff, our texts were very detailed. If she wanted to get to know me in person she'd have accepted the date though surely.

When we were waiting for a bus she was showing me pictures on her phone and I noticed she had a picture of me, she told me she was showing her friend who I was. I did also noticed a picture of another guy further up, but I don't think she noticed it was there. When we were on the bus, she was checking her phone and replying to her friend. I did notice she got a different text notification where someone sent her a smiley face, but instead of clicking on it to reply, she swiped it away. Led me to think it was another guy.

This is why I think she isn't texting me as much, probably prefers another guy but it's her loss anyway. I'll probably tell her that I had fun getting to know her but I think this has run it's course and I'll take the hint and she has my number if she changes her mind. Then I'll just delete her number and probably just deactivate my facebook as I rarely use it anyway. I'd just be cutting myself completely from her, easiest way to move on. Might seem a little butthurt, but if she isn't interested now then she isn't going to be down the line so no matter what I do it won't change anything
amazonrambo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th November 2017, 3:05 PM   #26
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 169
Noticed on Instagram she posted a picture of her and a couple of friends tagged in a bar in town, maybe the money thing was an excuse unless they've bought her drinks (just like I paid for her on our previous date) until she gets paid.

I deactivated myself on Facebook just to avoid snooping and working myself up over it. I think the fact that the texting itself has died down is enough for me to move on but I'm a tryer so I'll give things one last shot after the weekend.

Currently texting a different girl in the meantime, but I've noticed my ex girlfriend from a couple of months ago is on this new girl's friends list
amazonrambo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th November 2017, 4:13 PM   #27
Established Member
 
KBob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: 'berta
Posts: 402
Quote:
Originally Posted by amazonrambo View Post

Currently texting a different girl in the meantime, but I've noticed my ex girlfriend from a couple of months ago is on this new girl's friends list
Thats weird. Does she know your ex? Or is your ex spiteful enough to ruin things for you?
KBob is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10th November 2017, 5:19 PM   #28
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 169
Quote:
Originally Posted by KBob View Post
Thats weird. Does she know your ex? Or is your ex spiteful enough to ruin things for you?
Nah, my ex wouldn't do something like that. She broke up with me because she felt something was missing after three months together, that and she has mental health issues like periods of feeling down and you could tell she wasn't over her previous six year relationship.

They're both teachers so maybe they were on the same course or something. She's definitely not a close friend with my ex because I've never heard her name before.
amazonrambo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th November 2017, 9:12 AM   #29
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 169
My plan to text this other girl tomorrow was to say something fun and jokey like this "So I've had a weekend involving breaking hearts, near death experiences and chocolate ice cream... Can you beat that? ". Think that's okay? I'm wanting to keep it playful before asking her out, which I'll do the following text and get straight to the point rather than chit chatting. Assuming she replies, if not then I'll obviously forget about it and not waste any more time.
amazonrambo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th November 2017, 10:06 AM   #30
Established Member
 
KBob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: 'berta
Posts: 402
Quote:
Originally Posted by amazonrambo View Post
My plan to text this other girl tomorrow was to say something fun and jokey like this "So I've had a weekend involving breaking hearts, near death experiences and chocolate ice cream... Can you beat that? ". Think that's okay? I'm wanting to keep it playful before asking her out, which I'll do the following text and get straight to the point rather than chit chatting. Assuming she replies, if not then I'll obviously forget about it and not waste any more time.
What's the breaking hearts thing about? If you're being vague like that all the time (like with you FB status) it could come across as you trying to passive aggressively bait her into asking about it.
KBob is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
OLD Rejection vs Cold Approach Rejection (can't handle) harkkam Dating 6 7th June 2015 4:43 PM
Rejection Letter from Company Mirrors Rejection from EX... Mr.Pine Breaks and Breaking Up 1 14th March 2014 5:38 PM
Rejection feels so painful all the time Necris Dating 38 13th February 2013 11:11 AM
11 days NC.Feels great but, also feels like he doesn't care anymore dsw31 Coping 15 13th April 2012 11:49 AM
Gunny, legs..it Feels good but part of it feels wrong stanchain Separation and Divorce 7 7th February 2007 11:28 AM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 2:39 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.