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Second choice?


MsIndependentMom08

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MsIndependentMom08

So me and this guy started talking in January this year. After a few days, he asked me out to dinner. We ended up going a few more dates after that. Had a nice time each time getting to know more about each other etc. did have our first kiss until the 4th date. Everything was moving really slow which was new for me but pleasantly welcomed. We didn't do the deed until a few dates after that. well that was the last time I saw him (this is beginning May- so over the course of 5 months this all happens). It wasn't like we totally stopped talking after that, he would message me saying he wanted to see me again but our schedules never matched up. No big deal. Until I get on Facebook a couple mornings later and see he's been tagged in a relationship status with another woman. Sooo many thoughts went through my head.... was he dating her the same time? I know we never said we were exclusive butttt... was I just played? Did he think I was too ugly? (This thought came from since we just slept together and now he decides to be with someone else).... nonetheless I swiftly deleted from Facebook and my life.... until I get a message from him a few days ago... asking me how I am doing and when I didn't immediately respond he says "I understand if you don't want to talk" so I know he knows what he did was wrong. I hesitated responding wondering is it really worth my time... but I had to ask... I said "why did you do it? Don't know what I did to deserve it." To which he said I didn't do anything wrong, he was sorry.... he said he just couldn't get over a past flame like he thought but now he has been single a while and he is actually liking himself more (he had self confidence issues when we were talking) and he's ready "to move on with life"

So naturally, I'm relieved but cautious at the same time. We've been chatting for a few days now, he's asked to take me out again.

However, he's rather forward about having sex again. I'm not against it but I'm really wondering if that's the only reason he came back... I confronted him about it and he said he's not just wanting sex and he's looking for more... but he's never specified if that means "with me" or in general.

My question is.... I REALLY like him.... how do I go from here? Do I ask him more details about what happened? Do I ask him how he truly feels about me or will that come off as desperate? I just really don't want to get hurt like that again.

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really you still dont know how he truly feels about you???

 

he doesnt want a relationship with you. you were used, dont let it happen again

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really you still dont know how he truly feels about you???

 

he doesnt want a relationship with you. you were used, dont let it happen again

 

Yep, he wants some booty...maybe you'll date for a bit, but someone else will eventually come along and he's gone again

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It's a tough place to start a relationship. I would say meet him for a walk and a coffee and ask him about it in person. Don't skirt around the issue. Decide if what he says sits ok with you or not. If it does, decide on what terms you would give it another go.

 

Regardless of the talk I personally wouldn't be jumping into bed with him any time soon. I think you should start with dating again (if you are going to see him) and keep sex off the table till you decide if there is really something there and you trust him not to screw you over again.

 

I have done something similar to him before, and regretted choosing the wrong person although I told the other guy didn't let him find out himself. Ultimately, I eventually dated the other guy but he never felt secure in the relationship which I understand is a situation I created. It sucked because I actually really liked him.

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It's a tough place to start a relationship. I would say meet him for a walk and a coffee and ask him about it in person. Don't skirt around the issue. Decide if what he says sits ok with you or not. If it does, decide on what terms you would give it another go.

 

Regardless of the talk I personally wouldn't be jumping into bed with him any time soon. I think you should start with dating again (if you are going to see him) and keep sex off the table till you decide if there is really something there and you trust him not to screw you over again.

 

I have done something similar to him before, and regretted choosing the wrong person although I told the other guy didn't let him find out himself. Ultimately, I eventually dated the other guy but he never felt secure in the relationship which I understand is a situation I created. It sucked because I actually really liked him.

 

Why bother? They dated slow, had sex, and she comes to find out he's in a relationship with someone else. Months upon months go by, and here we are. The guy's relationship ended, couldn't find someone else, and now he's like heyyyyy

 

Me? I'd pass. The OP is 2nd leftover banana

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No do not go there again. What I found with dating is to trust your gut, at the moment your gut is screaming at you that something is not genuine with this guy.

 

The right guy you would not be questioning if he likes you, if he is after sex etc.

 

I bet you he has an on-off thing with his ex and he on the off time at the moment and there you are...

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He basically left you for someone else and didn't even bother to tell you.

 

That mean's he didn't respect you and the fact he feels he can just waltz back into your life means he still doesn't respect you. He didn't message you with the sole purpose of apologizing for what he did, he messaged you to see if you'd reply and whether there was a door open for him for another fling.

 

That is all you need to think about when deciding on what to do. You may like him but you're setting yourself up for some more heartache here.

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