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A phone call


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Old 8th November 2017, 8:06 PM   #16
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Yeah, I was on board until you said he said this.

I mean, this isn't a conversation to have the first time you're talking to someone on the phone. Perhaps after a couple of dates and the chemistry is obvious, but not now.

If he's in his 40's, then he's not new to this dance. It was socially clumsy of him to even say this mess. It would have turned me off.
Agreed on all counts, but the one lesson women can learn is just because a guy is good at dating doesn't mean he'll make a good LTR partner.

It was a classic rookie mistake to bring up sex at all.
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Old 8th November 2017, 8:09 PM   #17
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I don't know if he's good at dating if this mess is coming out of his mouth.
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Old 8th November 2017, 9:23 PM   #18
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I am wary of him because I did meet someone a while back through OLD (in the MySpace days) who had an obvious MO - he asked a lot of questions. One of them being why did my last serious relationship end. I said I would rather not talk about that (at that point) and he said he worried that I would not share things with him, that I was not being honest, etc. He did nothing but put down my self-esteem and tell me how superior he was to others because he was "nerdy". Whatever that meant. I'm not sure if he has an MO but I have a feeling he does at this point.

I will update as time goes on.
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Old 9th November 2017, 1:30 AM   #19
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This guy would be struck off my list following that call, nice and quick.
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Old 9th November 2017, 1:38 AM   #20
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I don't know how to feel about him quite honestly. I've encountered some nutjobs who it is clear all the want is sex - which is fine if that's what they are after but it's just plain obnoxious / creepy to be talking about that with a stranger on the phone. These were some of the last things he talked about before signing off.

I would need some more information on him before making my final decision on this one, will update as time goes on.
I going to say this to you, as psychic and reading you current and future with this guy just end it now move on and find the right man. Don't waste you time, life and min over this. You have wasted too much already. My dear trust and move on.. Also we're all strangers at first..
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Old 9th November 2017, 7:00 AM   #21
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He's probably had some bad experiences and is trying to control these outcomes. But ultimately his reaction to this is not a mature one, as you cannot control this. Rebounds, emotional unavailability etc are excuses used to end relationships because he/she was just not that into you. When its right, none of that stuff matters.

Personally, I prefer to meet men with whom I have a bouncy conversation based on shared values and interests. Rather than controlling men who I feel interviewed and assessed by. Im not filling a position, Im trying to meet a best friend and partner.

I appreciate we are all judging one another in dating, but the yardsticks by which we judge give as great an insight into the other as any other information available to you.

It would be a pass for me purely due to high ick factor with regards to 'hoping Im at my sexual and emotional peak'. But I guess much depends on how much you enjoyed the rest of the conversation (assuming other topics were discussed).
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Old 9th November 2017, 11:12 AM   #22
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Are you interested, intrigued or anything? The only opinion you shared was "he seems like a decent guy."

If you aren't feeling any kind of connection I'd suggest moving on. I would be turned off by a list of questions like that. Important things can be learned through conversation. If you two didn't hit it off when you met, why should he leave knowing about your sexual and emotional peak?

I've read a few of your threads now. Dating is hard, as you know. When people don't hit it off, it doesn't mean that either of them is unlovable or interested in inferior people. I think you need to grow a thicker skin. JMO.
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Old 9th November 2017, 11:42 AM   #23
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Sounds like he got pretty nosy for a phone conversation... I guess the question would be were these questions a natural evolution of the conversation you were having, or were they just out of the blue. What I mean, is sometimes you have a conversation and it just goes in a direction and you end up probing in a different way than you would normally...

It doesn't sound like he just cares about sex, otherwise he wouldn't have been so interested in the deeper stuff he asked, he may have just been being honest about what his hopes were, even if he was a little too forward for a first conversation.
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Old 9th November 2017, 11:50 AM   #24
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This guy would be struck off my list following that call, nice and quick.
Count yourself lucky you have a "list." Most women don't, and quickly dumping suitors results in lots of cats and time spent alone.
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Old 9th November 2017, 12:20 PM   #25
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Count yourself lucky you have a "list." Most women don't, and quickly dumping suitors results in lots of cats and time spent alone.
I have cats lol, but my goodness I would rather spend time alone than with someone I dont want to be with.
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Old 9th November 2017, 1:38 PM   #26
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I have cats lol, but my goodness I would rather spend time alone than with someone I dont want to be with.
Hear, hear! Since when does anyone have to avoid being single at all costs? The only thing worse than this creep is entertaining him out of fear of being alone. He sounds horrible.

Mortensorchid, I've noticed you spend a lot of time and effort on men who are pretty tacky, rude, unpleasant or some combination of the above---but you're fully aware of how noxious these men are, too. I don't think I've seen a single thread where you expressed interest in someone who seemed nice, kind and drawn to you. Why do you go after men you know are jerks?
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Old 9th November 2017, 3:18 PM   #27
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My cat has way more going for him than this 'decent' guy.
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Old 9th November 2017, 9:44 PM   #28
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I had a second conversation with him this evening. He is away traveling for work and called me from there. I said I had a question or two for him, since we were talking about basic factual information which I think we had overlooked. The profile didn't list how old he was (47), he has 2 brothers (both younger), he was married for 10 years and divorced for 3, has two kids - his son is in Florida and his step daughter and ex wife are in PA. All I was interested in knowing was basic factual information.

And then ... Here's where it turned ... Into crazytown. He asked me to look at his profile (which I did), and I see him standing next to this woman. Nothing odd about him or the woman in this photo - they were not an item in this photo but rather she was a lesbian. I said "okay ..." not sure what this was about. He said he attracts two types - either delicate flower females or Alpha Females like the woman next to him in this photo, which am I? Do I own leather pants? (INSTANT RED FLAG to ask something like that! - But I did answer saying I do but I doubt I can still fit into them - because I am, after all, going to be courteous enough.) He asked me if I have any kids, I said no. He asked if I was ever pregnant. I said no. (I was once, miscarried it six years ago, not that I was going to tell him that because that was not his business.) After about an hour of talk I said to him that I was tired and I was going to turn in.

He said he would be back on Sunday, I said I was busy on Sunday (which is not a lie). He said so should we talk some more or meet soon? I said I was too tired to talk anymore. He asked if that meant we should just text and taper off - I said AGAIN I am not even thinking my brain is mush right now. And that was that.

Um ... HELL TO THE NO will I talk to him again.
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Old 9th November 2017, 9:48 PM   #29
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Count yourself lucky you have a "list." Most women don't, and quickly dumping suitors results in lots of cats and time spent alone.
Like that's a bad thing...

It results in avoiding messy, emotionally stunted males and keeping peace in one's heart, mind and home.

No sense in keeping foolishness around past the point they reveal their messiness.
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Old 9th November 2017, 9:50 PM   #30
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Um ... HELL TO THE NO will I talk to him again.
Wow... he's precious, isn't he?
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