MrSadSouls Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 Hi, My girlfriend has just said she's going to a life drawing class with friends for a hen party to draw a naked man. This obviously makes me uncomfortable and I think it's inappropriate. Is it? Should she be going? Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 What is appropriate is up to individuals. Me? I wouldn't have a problem with it - just like I wouldn't mind my husband going to a stag party with strippers - while some women freak out over that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TheTraveler Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 Hi, My girlfriend has just said she's going to a life drawing class with friends for a hen party to draw a naked man. This obviously makes me uncomfortable and I think it's inappropriate. Is it? Should she be going? What makes you uncomfortable? Scared naked dude looks better than you? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 Hi, My girlfriend has just said she's going to a life drawing class with friends for a hen party to draw a naked man. This obviously makes me uncomfortable and I think it's inappropriate. Is it? Should she be going? Not the kind of girl I would be into, but I'm also not into going to strip clubs and tend to be more on the conservative side. But this is why you date people to find out about their character. If it bothers you, but not her, that could be a sign of other areas of incompatibility. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 I have been to several life drawing classes and have been a nude model before, I don't think there is anything inappropriate about it. Then again I am a naturist and am used to being naked and being around naked people. Most people who are like me (a naturist) tend to no longer see the naked body as sexualised, but just as the vessel we are journeying in. In fact we tend to shun people who do sexualise the naked form. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 7, 2017 Share Posted November 7, 2017 I have been to several life drawing classes and have been a nude model before, I don't think there is anything inappropriate about it. Then again I am a naturist and am used to being naked and being around naked people. Most people who are like me (a naturist) tend to no longer see the naked body as sexualised, but just as the vessel we are journeying in. In fact we tend to shun people who do sexualise the naked form. How does this view translate into being able to achieve sexual arousal? I'm curious. Does sexual arousal have nothing at all to do with visual stimulation? Even for the man? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 How does this view translate into being able to achieve sexual arousal? I'm curious. Does sexual arousal have nothing at all to do with visual stimulation? Even for the man? I can't speak for the men, but I can tell you I have never seen any of my naturist male friends in a state of arousal around me (and other naked women). To me sex is intimate, when we are just wandering around, swimming, gardening, working in the nude we are not intimate we are just undressed, I need an intimate connection to be aroused, deeply looking into another's eyes, physical contact, kissing etc. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 I find it mind boggling that naked human (for the purpose of art) can be considered a sexual treat. The natural state of human body is naked, sexualizing nudity is in art context makes zero sense to me. Hi, My girlfriend has just said she's going to a life drawing class with friends for a hen party to draw a naked man. This obviously makes me uncomfortable and I think it's inappropriate. Is it? Should she be going? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 I find it mind boggling that naked human (for the purpose of art) can be considered a sexual treat. But this is not for the purposes of art. It's a hen party. I'm sure there will be alcohol and lots of giggling, and I'm sure the "art class" organisers are involved with that, and run the "art class" as more of a hen party activity than actual artistic purposes. I would say it's very comparable to a stripper at a stag party. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 You two have to talk about it. You can't forbid her from going & you have to figure out if this is a line in the sand you really want to take -- as in if she goes you will dump her. If that is the case, make your stance clear to her but be prepared for the consequences. I agree that this is less G rated than a standard art class. If this was for a grade or something I'll immediately tell you that you are being ridiculous. It is probably more akin to a stripper type situation but I doubt the model will be expecting to be a play thing. Talk to your GF. Be truthful about your concerns & insecurities. See if together you can come up with a compromise. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 But this is not for the purposes of art. It's a hen party. I'm sure there will be alcohol and lots of giggling, and I'm sure the "art class" organisers are involved with that, and run the "art class" as more of a hen party activity than actual artistic purposes. I would say it's very comparable to a stripper at a stag party. Oh ok, I assumed it is a legit art class where OP's gf is going with her friends. I've been to some of that kind and giggling, photographing, or any interaction with the model was strictly prohibited. Now, if it is a stripper equivalent and involves alcohol - blah, quite distasteful. I'd still not be 'jealous' if I was in OP's shoes, but I'd probably lose respect for the gf that enjoys something so immature as 'entertainment'. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Hi, My girlfriend has just said she's going to a life drawing class with friends for a hen party to draw a naked man. Where exactly is the class taking place? At someone's house? At a school? At a bar? Is there an instructor or is this just her friends cooking up this idea? You are leaving out way too much pertinent information for us to give you an informed answer. Stop spinning us and just be on the level with this. This obviously makes me uncomfortable and I think it's inappropriate. Is it? It is to you, but it's apparently not to your fiancee. Should she be going? Are you her dad? Do you think she's going to forget she's with you and have sex with the guy in front of her friends? Does she act a fool when she drinks and does things that embarrasses everyone in a 5 mile radius? Is that the kind of person she is anyway? If so, then you need to call off the wedding because you're marrying the wrong person for most likely the wrong reasons. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Camillus Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 I think it is your insecurity that is the problem. If she sees a guy nude so what? It's just a body and generally i think she will be busy drawing and laughing with her friends. Maybe she gets a pic with the guy, no harm in that. If she is the cheating kind it will probably happen either way therefore if you trust her and she seems honest you've got nothing to worry about if you don't you need to reconcile that 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 I'm not sure what the problem is here. If it's a formal class with a legit art teacher like they offer up in continued learning programs at many schools and community centers around the country, I'm not sure what the problem is. It's not like they are allowed to touch the nude model for heaven's sake, even if they've been drinking before hand. These types of classes do have rules and codes of conduct after all. My education was in art and I have participated many classes where the subject was a nude model, male or female. There is nothing seedy about it. What exactly makes you uncomfortable? The fact that she's seeing another man's penis? Because if that's the case, I'm pretty sure your penis isn't her first. Besides, if someone is going to behave inappropriately, they will always find a way to be inappropriate. You either trust your girlfriend or not. I think you need to relax. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 I have to say this....get over it...it's just an art class. I majored in art in college, and drawing class had nude women and guys. There were no erect penises to be seen. TBH there is nothing sexual about it. She's an adult, I'm sure she will be handling herself appropriately. let her enjoy her night out....it sounds fun. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
vagirl91089 Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 I would not be comfortable with it either! I don't know much about your relationship, but one key aspect is understanding and communication. Tell her your thoughts about it and if she truly cares about you and your opinion, she will understand and take your feelings into consideration. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Why? I need to understand why someone would have a problem with nude drawing? Men go to strip clubs for bachelor parties where half naked women parade around and grind up on them. Attending an art class where the subject is a nude male model seems pretty tame in comparison to what hen parties typically indulge in. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 I think it's important to look at what you're wanting to do: Avoid going on a hen's night (where she probably didn't even choose the entertainment) because her partner doesn't want her to go. Imagine how disappointed and resentful she would be for having to miss out on a celebratory event for one of her besties. It's not like she'll be grinding up on him. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 I get upset when I hear that drawing a nude is to be something shameful. The Sistine Chapel is covered in nude images depicting biblical stories. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 This wreaks of insecurity. Honestly. Anyone secure with themselves and in their relationships would not have a problem with this. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 If so, then you need to call off the wedding because you're marrying the wrong person for most likely the wrong reasons. Is this her hen party or is she going to someone else's hen party? I thought it was her party. Yeah, you don't trust her out of your eyesight to remember that she is in a relationship with you. Like I said, unless she drinks and embarrasses herself on a colossal scale, I think you need to chill and trust your girlfriend. If she does, then all of the locking her up at night isn't going to render the type of relationship you're after. She will just grow to resent you and that will spell the end of your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 But this is not for the purposes of art. It's a hen party. I'm sure there will be alcohol and lots of giggling, and I'm sure the "art class" organisers are involved with that, and run the "art class" as more of a hen party activity than actual artistic purposes. I would say it's very comparable to a stripper at a stag party. Yeah, this is what I thought as well. I would just see an actual art class with nudity like a doctor learning about the human body. Not necessarily sexual. But this is a gimmick for a hen party. My impression is these type of parties are intentionally sexualizing the experience. But I guess I can have a gaggle of strippers at my bachelor party and tell SO I'm taking an interpretative dance class. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Yeah, this is what I thought as well. I would just see an actual art class with nudity like a doctor learning about the human body. Not necessarily sexual. But this is a gimmick for a hen party. My impression is these type of parties are intentionally sexualizing the experience. But I guess I can have a gaggle of strippers at my bachelor party and tell SO I'm taking an interpretative dance class. Which is why where this is taking place makes the difference. My community college offers these types of classes on campus in the evening because other classes are taking place in the building. Doesn't mean it's a stag party atmosphere. They come, they drink wine, they draw badly, they giggle about it and it's off in the limo to the next destination. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 It's classier than going to a strip club for her and her friends, so that's a plus. I went to one years ago for my friend's bachelorette party, I don't need to repeat it anytime soon. Think of it as a Bucket List thing to do, like it was for me and a lot of other women out there. Double standards in action - it's okay for men to do certain things than it is for women (or vice versa). Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 (edited) Which is why where this is taking place makes the difference. My community college offers these types of classes on campus in the evening because other classes are taking place in the building. Doesn't mean it's a stag party atmosphere. They come, they drink wine, they draw badly, they giggle about it and it's off in the limo to the next destination. hmmm I would say the model matters more than the place. What do you think is more likely? An average guy with bit of belly and average package as the model, or a hunk with a 6 pack packing some heat. Hmmm I guess the former, since this is really a for a greater cause of artistic expression lol It's what DaVinci would have wanted. After all this is in the same spirit as painting of the Sistine Chapel! OP, you are allowed to feel uncomfortable and should also not feel ashamed for feeling that way. In my opinion you should be able to express that with OP, and if she cares more about the hen party that your feelings, I would say time to dig deeper in the relationship. Regarding the double standard, I would say the same thing if a girl was uncomfortable than with her SO going to a strip club. Edited November 8, 2017 by TheFinalWord Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts