Meaningless sex?

[Radarsat]

I'm 39, been burned emotionally by more than a few girlfriends over the past 2 years since separating. A bunch of my female friends and guy friends too keep telling me to stop dating and just have as much 'meaningless sex' as I can righ now and work on me and stop being a rescuer/fixer in relationships. I'm fine with all of that, but realistically, how many women actually want this? All I see on Tinder, etc. is "NO HOOKUPS!"...lol.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Why not update your profile letting women know that you don't want anything serious right now and start swiping right on profiles that appeal to you. Lord knows I've come across more profiles of men saying just that. As someone who is looking for more, I know to stay away from men like that.

 

Unlike men, women tend to read the fine print on dating profiles (not sure about Tinder tho) so if you're upfront about what it is you want or what you don't want, all you can do is try and see what happens.

 

Just make sure that really IS what you want to do. Some people aren't built for NSA sex. The last thing you want to do is get hung up on some girl who only wants meaningless sex. Might as well forget dating or sex for that matter and just work on yourself until you're ready to jump back in again with both feet.

 

Good luck.

[smackie9]

I hear the opposite......anyways there are other sites that cater to NSA, casual, and all that crap.

[CryForNoOne]

The people who say they don't want hookups are the ones who keep falling into hookups.

I'm not sure if that it true, but I will definitely say that the ones that DON'T say no hookups, are definitely down for hookups. I'm finding it way way easier to hookup than actually date.

[thefooloftheyear]

A buddy of mine from HS got divorced a few years ago...He's a broke, ugly ass, out of shape, illiterate moron..Yet, he absolutely cleaned up for a few years on sites like Tinder and others....He's with someone now and gave up the game, but for a while it was as easy as walking across the street...Women way better looking than he was, btw..

 

But really, who cares what your friends say?? If that's not what you want, then don't do it...To each his/her own, I just don't see the point, really...

 

TFY

[coolheadal]

I'm 39, been burned emotionally by more than a few girlfriends over the past 2 years since separating. A bunch of my female friends and guy friends too keep telling me to stop dating and just have as much 'meaningless sex' as I can righ now and work on me and stop being a rescuer/fixer in relationships. I'm fine with all of that, but realistically, how many women actually want this? All I see on Tinder, etc. is "NO HOOKUPS!"...lol.

 

You never know until you post that on your profile. But don't listen to friends they have their own agenda, that shouldn't be base on what you want. You do not sleep with your friends so why do you take their suggestion over your own mindset.

[LadybugLucy]

Meaningless sex is a slippery slope. Usually someone ends up wanting it to mean something and that results in hurt feelings. Maybe just take a step back and work on you. Find a hobby, read books, etc. Do something that will challenge you and grow you.

[RecentChange]

It's not for everyone, but if you can compartmentalize, really do have a taste for NSA, and are confident, secure in your skin etc - there are most certainly people who enjoy "meaningless" as in sex simply for the sake of sex, and are able to navigate the waters.

 

Craigslist, adult Friend finder, alternative dating sites, there are many outlets for people looking for something other than traditional dating.

[Radarsat]

Thanks for the advice everyone. There are nights where I'm lonely and yeah I wish I had a woman by my side, but in all honesty, I'm not sure I am at a place where I won't use it as a rebound and just get attached. It's who I am. I truly wish somedays I was less emotionally attached to woman, but I am that way currently. I think I DO need to work on me a bit more, find my worth and maybe my approach to woman will change? But for now, I think I need to just leave woman alone entirely. Thanks again guys. : )

[kassy]

Thanks for the advice everyone. There are nights where I'm lonely and yeah I wish I had a woman by my side, but in all honesty, I'm not sure I am at a place where I won't use it as a rebound and just get attached. It's who I am. I truly wish somedays I was less emotionally attached to woman, but I am that way currently. I think I DO need to work on me a bit more, find my worth and maybe my approach to woman will change? But for now, I think I need to just leave woman alone entirely. Thanks again guys. : )

 

When I was single for a while I have had similar lonely thoughts, it's normal. But while conceptually I love the idea of a FWB, it not only did nothing for me (turns out I only enjoy sex with someone I'm into) but it actually made me feel more lonely. So I gave up fairly fast on that experiment.

 

I will say after taking time out from dating and picking up the pieces of my life and getting to a better place I began dating again and had much more fun. But then I took another break from dating to really get myself into a really happy space where I genuinely loved my life and myself and when I started dating again I met a guy who is fantastic (and been through his own issues, divorced has kids etc and picked himself up and is also happy).

 

I think often who our dating options are reflects the current state of our own personal lives and mentality. So working on yourself actually in my view makes you much more likely to be able to date and meet someone you really like and have the feeling reciprocated.

 

Take a break, go have some fun doing other stuff, do some counseling if you think you might benefit from it and then get back to dating in a bit. Best of luck!