Solivervolo22 Posted November 5, 2017 Share Posted November 5, 2017 Need some advice, I have been on 3 dates with a girl I met online (not counting the first coffee meetup), she is definitely into me and I like her a lot, she complements my looks all the time, and keeps accepting dates but I'm yet to kiss her or really escalate physically (touch her leg or body here or there but no hand holding). My big problem is that I've only been with one woman, I'm 27 and was with a girl for 8 years before starting dating again 6 months ago, this girl cheated on me 6 years into the relationship (I didn't know) and basically refused to kiss me after that even during sex (she would say I was bad at kissing) so I have a deep rooted fear of rejection from kissing. I'm just not sure what to do (except the obvious) I just don't think I can go in for the kiss, physically my body won't let me do it, should I talk to her about it (huge potential turnoff)? I really like this girl, had her over my house for dinner, great emotional chemistry, she laughs a lot and we have the same values, once I break the barrier I'm good but I'm not sure If it's possible....She is sort of shy herself so I doubt she will make a move, she is yet to physically touch me either, she is fairly conservative and seems a bit inexperienced herself. I get the feeling that she isn't in any hurry but is looking for me to take charge at some point, I'm just not sure how to... Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted November 5, 2017 Share Posted November 5, 2017 (edited) If we got a nickel for each of the threads written by a WOMAN asking why a guy they went out w 3 times hasn't kissed her yet. We'd be rich! The longer you wait the more awkward it's going to be. If she even keeps going out w you that is. Chances are this woman is starting to think that you don't like her like that. I mean cripes bro, she already came over to your place! What else can a shy girl like herself let you know she likes you. If you truly have a bloc, then maybe you need to work it out w a therapist. Otherwise next time you are face to face and you go in for the hug, lean in for the kiss. At the least, the next time you have to hold her hand... Just Do It. Edited November 5, 2017 by Imajerk17 2 Link to post Share on other sites
rightondude Posted November 5, 2017 Share Posted November 5, 2017 just go for it. I'm sure you're not that bad. just take it slow and don't be sloppy. Link to post Share on other sites
kassy Posted November 5, 2017 Share Posted November 5, 2017 Ok hold her hand. If she is fine with you holding her hand on a 4th date then she definitely wants you to kiss her. So if she is then you know she won't reject you for trying. Then just go for it. Look your last girlfriend kissed you until she cheated. It wasn't because of how you kiss, it was her having checked out of the relationship. Also a good kisser is very much an individual thing. I kissed a guy many years ago and really hated the way he kissed, my friend kissed him a few months later and thought he was the best kisser ever. Just go for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted November 5, 2017 Share Posted November 5, 2017 Look at it from a utilitarian perspective If you try to kiss her and she rejects, that will feel bad, but you will get over it. If you try to kiss her and she accepts you got a kiss and continuation of the relationship If you don't try to kiss her you will not get a kiss or a continuation of the relationship. She will most likely terminate the relationship assuming you are gay, not attracted to her, or asexual, etc. That will feel bad, but you will get over it. You have more to gain by going in for the kiss. Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted November 5, 2017 Share Posted November 5, 2017 If you cannot make yourself kiss her, you are not ready to be dating. It's really not that hard, especially since she's given you all the right signals. I think you're psyching yourself out. Man up, lean in and kiss her already, because she's going to be gone soon if you don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Solivervolo22 Posted November 5, 2017 Author Share Posted November 5, 2017 Thanks for the replies, I just need to bite the bullet and do it, I'm not complely skirting around the subject, she knows I'm interested in her because I have told her, what really throws me off is that she doesn't initiate any contact to give me an opening (even I have to initiate a hug), I purposely touch her randomly throughout our dates and she is fine with it but she doesn't at all with me. In reality I'm over thinking all this, she is really into me and I like her a lot, just need to do it before I have lasting regret of what could have been. Link to post Share on other sites
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