Zeo828 Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 Hi I've been in a funk recently. A coworker of mine wanted to set me up with a woman she knows. I heard everything, she's great... the works. I said fine, give her my number. But I made sure to tell my co worker "No promises that it will work." She said "No Pressure." We texted a bit. I know enough to keep the texting at a minimum so I don't get my expectations high only to get knocked down, and vice versa for her. Let's just meet. So we met and she is just not my type. As soon as I saw her I knew it, but I sat with her for 2 hours and I just know. Nice woman, I just don't want to be romantically involved with her. So as we said good night I told her that it was nice to meet her. Now, I know that my next step is to not contact her, and leave it be. However, she texted me 2 days after the date wanting to now how I was doing. I don't know what to do? I don't want to be rude, or come off as a jerk to her or my co worker. I'm just not interested, and I feel like since we only met once it would be kinda presumptuous of me to just come out and say that I'm not interested. Perhaps I'll respond and be pleasant but make sure I don't ask her out again... and nix it somehow if she asks me out. What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 Maybe just reply with a closed ended statement with something like, "I'm doing well, thanks for asking." Or something as equally benign that doesn't require her to respond. IF she does respond, maybe then you can say how you enjoyed meeting her but don't think you two are a match. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 Hi I've been in a funk recently. A coworker of mine wanted to set me up with a woman she knows. I heard everything, she's great... the works. I said fine, give her my number. But I made sure to tell my co worker "No promises that it will work." She said "No Pressure." We texted a bit. I know enough to keep the texting at a minimum so I don't get my expectations high only to get knocked down, and vice versa for her. Let's just meet. So we met and she is just not my type. As soon as I saw her I knew it, but I sat with her for 2 hours and I just know. Nice woman, I just don't want to be romantically involved with her. So as we said good night I told her that it was nice to meet her. Now, I know that my next step is to not contact her, and leave it be. However, she texted me 2 days after the date wanting to now how I was doing. I don't know what to do? I don't want to be rude, or come off as a jerk to her or my co worker. I'm just not interested, and I feel like since we only met once it would be kinda presumptuous of me to just come out and say that I'm not interested. Perhaps I'll respond and be pleasant but make sure I don't ask her out again... and nix it somehow if she asks me out. What do you think? Def let her know, personally I am one who wants to be rejected instead of ghosted or tricked. You have no obligation to do anything more w/her. Be nice, say you had a good time, but things just won't work out. The good thing is she is either being cautious or isn't interested as well because if she was interested, she would have texted you sooner. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 Tell her you enjoyed meeting her but just don't feel that you two are a match and to take care. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 I think you should come out with it. She is obviously interested in seeing you again, or she wouldn't text you. Don't bother with rude closed statements or hints. And ignoring would be rude. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ieris Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 I think you should respond with a short and simple message. Also let your co-worker know that you aren't interested, as no doubt the girl will be asking what you thought of her from the co-worker. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 The respectful thing to do would be to tell her that, "It was nice to meet you, but you don't want to take it further, I'm sorry". Short, simple, and polite. Don't delay sending it and risk increasing her hope and anticipation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 This is the part I hate about dating - disappointing women. I have a hard time letting people down. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 No need to apologize, just let her know that you enjoyed the date, but not interested in pursuing it further. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 Agree with the others here, you really should explicitly say that you're not interested in pursuing it further. At least she will know for sure. Given it's only been one date, if you're interested in a platonic friendship instead I think you should also mention that. (but if you're not - that's OK too as long as you're clear!) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 This is the part I hate about dating - disappointing women. I have a hard time letting people down. Yeah, it's tough. I think it is difficult for most people, which is why it is best to get it over with as quickly and politely as possible. People who try to find ways to delay rejecting someone, don't realize that they risk giving the other person time to start developing feelings or anticipation for the next meeting, which makes the rejection worse. I hope the op does it soon. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 (edited) I agree it's hard. Pleasantly respond but dont initiate contact ever again. If she keeps initiating, tell her. Edited November 5, 2017 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chinadiary Posted November 5, 2017 Share Posted November 5, 2017 I think you should respond with a short and simple message. Also let your co-worker know that you aren't interested, as no doubt the girl will be asking what you thought of her from the co-worker. Exactly. You've had one date. You have no responsibility to her or your co worker. The ONLY responsibility you have is to let her know you're not interested. Ignoring her would be very bad manners, not to mention unkind. Something along the lines of, 'Nice meeting you. It was good of X (coworker) to introduce us, however I'm afraid I don't think we're compatible. Thanks again.' Link to post Share on other sites
rightondude Posted November 5, 2017 Share Posted November 5, 2017 You could always flip the script. Respond telling her you can't wait to introduce her to your parents or maybe invite her to an orgy. Of course, you run the risk of her being into it and calling your bluff. Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted November 6, 2017 Share Posted November 6, 2017 I also think that you should let her know that while you enjoyed meeting her, you don't want to see her romantically. Your coworker is going to ask about it, and it would probably be better if the date was in the loop before the coworker. It's better not to let this drag out, especially since you have a common friend in the middle. Don't be blunt about all the coworker's friends flaws or anything to the coworker, just keep it simple with the coworker, no chemistry, but she's a very nice lady, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 6, 2017 Share Posted November 6, 2017 Whatever you do, don't ghost her. Your work colleague will think poorly of you which could adversely affect work. Do say thanks but no thanks. Really it's not more difficult then that. Playing the silent ghost game makes things so much worse because in addition to the rejection the dumpee has to deal with impoliteness Link to post Share on other sites
BarbedFenceRider Posted November 6, 2017 Share Posted November 6, 2017 You could always flip the script. Respond telling her you can't wait to introduce her to your parents or maybe invite her to an orgy. Of course, you run the risk of her being into it and calling your bluff. Bwhahahahaha! Comedy on Monday. Well done! lol Link to post Share on other sites
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