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REALLY need a woman's/girl's opinion. I'm confused


Green_Eren

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So about a month ago I started talking to girl in my class, we hit it off right away and conversation flowed amazingly. The class met up once a week, so for 2 classes in a row we were talking each others heads off, especially when the professor would call a 10 minute break. She was really cute and I was excited.

 

Following week we talk again and I ask for her number, she gave it to me no problem. So then a few days after that I texted her "Hey you" she replied super late "Hi, who is this?" I told her it was me and try to get conversation going with a joke. She didn't reply at all lol. So I said screw it, came into class the next week thinking 'I won't talk if she doesn't initiate it' and it she never did, it was silent and awkward. It was like this for a few more classes.

 

After those 2 weeks passed, I had really forgotten about her by this point, I no when to take no for an answer or how to take hints. But today at the end of class I casually said something to her about an assignment (I had zero intentions) but somehow it got us talking in the elevator and all the way out of campus. We were walking and talking and convo was amazing like when we first met. We ended up doing this for like an hour, I took her to her destination and we just stood there talking. It was cold and raining so I was surprised that she didn't cut it short, we were having fun honestly. She even then said "Wanna walk around some more" I said sure. We did so for a bit more until I decided I should seal the deal.

 

We ended up once again at her stop, she started saying "Well thanks for walking with me and stuff hehe you're fun" and I said "Hey would you ever wanna get something to eat one of these days" she simply kinda smiled and "..no"

 

I was really really surprised so I just said "Oh.. sh*t haha" then she said "It's not you, I just really wanna focus on my career right now" I said "Yeah same, but.." then she said "It's something new I'm trying, I'm not gonna be seeing anyone" then she giggled and said "You should have caught me a month ago!" She walked away as she was saying that, the only thing that I could think at the moment to say was "How do you know I won't catch you next week?" She didn't respond and kept walking off.

 

So what gives? Guess my question is : Is she just being nice and BS'ing me to let me down easy? or is she actually just focused on school?

 

Normally I would say she just let me down easy but that "Should have caught me a month ago" comment makes me think it was actually very possible if I'd gotten to spend this time with her a month ago.

 

It's a whole nother week before I see her again, how should I act? Should I play it cool, cut the whole thing off, or keep chasing her? Gimme your cold honest opinions please, thanks!

Edited by Green_Eren
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So what gives? Guess my question is : Is she just being nice and BS'ing me to let me down easy? or is she actually just focused on school?

 

It doesn't matter. She gave you a very clear "no" so you just need to accept it.

 

It's a whole nother week before I see her again, how should I act? Should I play it cool, cut the whole thing off, or keep chasing her?

 

Don't keep chasing her. She said no. But that doesn't mean you have to completely ignore her and make things awkward. You can still be friendly with her in class.

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So about a month ago I started talking to girl in my class, we hit it off right away and conversation flowed amazingly. The class met up once a week, so for 2 classes in a row we were talking each others heads off, especially when the professor would call a 10 minute break. She was really cute and I was excited.

 

Following week we talk again and I ask for her number, she gave it to me no problem. So then a few days after that I texted her "Hey you" she replied super late "Hi, who is this?" I told her it was me and try to get conversation going with a joke. She didn't reply at all lol. So I said screw it, came into class the next week thinking 'I won't talk if she doesn't initiate it' and it she never did, it was silent and awkward. It was like this for a few more classes.

 

After those 2 weeks passed, I had really forgotten about her by this point, I no when to take no for an answer or how to take hints. But today at the end of class I casually said something to her about an assignment (I had zero intentions) but somehow it got us talking in the elevator and all the way out of campus. We were walking and talking and convo was amazing like when we first met. We ended up doing this for like an hour, I took her to her destination and we just stood there talking. It was cold and raining so I was surprised that she didn't cut it short, we were having fun honestly. She even then said "Wanna walk around some more" I said sure. We did so for a bit more until I decided I should seal the deal.

 

We ended up once again at her stop, she started saying "Well thanks for walking with me and stuff hehe you're fun" and I said "Hey would you ever wanna get something to eat one of these days" she simply kinda smiled and "..no"

 

I was really really surprised so I just said "Oh.. sh*t haha" then she said "It's not you, I just really wanna focus on my career right now" I said "Yeah same, but.." then she said "It's something new I'm trying, I'm not gonna be seeing anyone" then she giggled and said "You should have caught me a month ago!" She walked away as she was saying that, the only thing that I could think at the moment to say was "How do you know I won't catch you next week?" She didn't respond and kept walking off.

 

So what gives? Guess my question is : Is she just being nice and BS'ing me to let me down easy? or is she actually just focused on school?

 

Normally I would say she just let me down easy but that "Should have caught me a month ago" comment makes me think it was actually very possible if I'd gotten to spend this time with her a month ago.

 

It's a whole nother week before I see her again, how should I act? Should I play it cool, cut the whole thing off, or keep chasing her? Gimme your cold honest opinions please, thanks!

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Scarlett.O'hara

I would take her at her word. She is either trying to stay focused or just wasn't interested. Regardless, she clearly was enjoying the attention and ego boost at the time.

 

Don't take her comments about timing seriously either, she probably just got carried away being a tease.

 

Play it cool, date someone else.

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I'veseenbetterlol

She is not interested. Anytime someone says "I would date but right now I'm____________" (fill in the blank w/any excuse), they are not interested. Life doesn't stop when you start dating, challenges always arise, opportunities do too. Interact w/her as little as needed, like during class and do not hang out w/her esp since you are interested in dating her and she isn't interested in you.

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IMO, she's using "working on her career" as an insincere excuse. Plenty of people attempt both.. she gave you her number, she's obviously not completely uninterested in relationships. Honestly, I just think someone else has caught her interest at the moment and would rather avoid that topic with you.

 

Either way, don't chase her.. she's made that much abundantly clear.

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I think she is wishy washy and wants attention. No one I know that is a man/woman is so much into school, that if a potential love is in their sight that they would pass them by.

 

I think that you should not take her serriously and just be chill. There are just some people out there that like attention. Don't get wrapped up in her world.

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I think you were great company but she's not interested in romance. Guys this thing of thinking that getting on well means that we may want to date you.

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Remember its her loss. If she does not want to date or get to know you. Its her her loss and you have to keep thinking in this mentality. Bravo for making an effort. Just don't get wrapped up into always being the person to make it happen all the time.

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I agree with the others - she is not interested.

 

I would be civil in class, but don't go out of your way to talk to her or walk with her. It sucks, but put her behind you so you don't string yourself along.

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Gimme your cold honest opinions please, thanks!

don't waste your time on this one, find another prospect

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Yup. Extremely immature, using you for attention and titillation... but it's a dry well. Ignore her and strike up something with another girl in the same class.

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She's either not interested in you or she seriously does want to focus on school and not fret over boys. The long chat seems opposite of that, but it is what it is. She enjoyed the attention. So did you. Take it for what it is and move on. Continue talking to her in class like normal and be friendly, but don't go out of your way to spend huge lengths of time like you did. You never know, maybe during break, she'll open up to dating again, and dating you, or she simply isn't interested in you in that way. Move on. If she's wishy-washy, this could get painful if you do ultimately date. If she's just not in the right headspace, there could be a lot of hot-cold.

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Just because you get along great and had a couple of friendly conversations doesn't mean romantic interest or ego boosting or looking for attention. She like you as a friend, someone she liked to talk to. What she can't talk to a guy unless she wants to date him? That's silly. You gave it a shot and she said no.....big deal. You have two choices, ignore the crap out of her, or continue to enjoy just having fun conversations. I say continue to have fun conversations with her....she might a few cute friends, if you know what I mean.

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So what gives? Guess my question is : Is she just being nice and BS'ing me to let me down easy? or is she actually just focused on school?

 

 

She is letting you down easy. If she was really into you, nothing could keep her away.

 

 

Be warm when you see her in class but don't make any greater investment.

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^Agree with the last 2 posters. Find another girl to talk with and ask out. It will probably make this girl take notice of you.

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You're all gonna hate me but I think I'm gonna persist lol

 

Before you scold me let me explain:

 

In the past i've NEVER done that, if a girl wasn't fully into it I didn't even bother with them. But then you hear all these things along the line of "Women like persistence" or "Women like a guy who doesn't give up" Idk I guess I wanna try this method. Now I'm not gonna ask her out every single time or become needy or clingy to her ofcourse. I'm thinking I'm just gonna play it cool but keep talking to her in a slightly flirty way. F*ck it. Anything in life thats worth it, won't come easy.

 

She didn't flat out say NO, btw she's from a very small farm town and she's very blunt and says genuinely says whats on her mind. So I think maybe she REALLY does wanna focus on school. So I'm gonna go for it but not care about the outcome either way. Any advice on how to do this?

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You're all gonna hate me but I think I'm gonna persist lol

 

Before you scold me let me explain:

 

In the past i've NEVER done that, if a girl wasn't fully into it I didn't even bother with them. But then you hear all these things along the line of "Women like persistence" or "Women like a guy who doesn't give up" Idk I guess I wanna try this method. Now I'm not gonna ask her out every single time or become needy or clingy to her ofcourse. I'm thinking I'm just gonna play it cool but keep talking to her in a slightly flirty way. F*ck it. Anything in life thats worth it, won't come easy.

 

She didn't flat out say NO, btw she's from a very small farm town and she's very blunt and says genuinely says whats on her mind. So I think maybe she REALLY does wanna focus on school. So I'm gonna go for it but not care about the outcome either way. Any advice on how to do this?

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mortensorchid

She said no. Doesn't really matter what her reasons are or are not, as in if she is telling the truth or not.

 

Just move on. If and when you see her again be friendly but not too friendly like you're still hoping that she will come around. You'll look desperate. You'll be okay, life goes on.

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I'veseenbetterlol
You're all gonna hate me but I think I'm gonna persist lol

 

Before you scold me let me explain:

 

In the past i've NEVER done that, if a girl wasn't fully into it I didn't even bother with them. But then you hear all these things along the line of "Women like persistence" or "Women like a guy who doesn't give up" Idk I guess I wanna try this method. Now I'm not gonna ask her out every single time or become needy or clingy to her ofcourse. I'm thinking I'm just gonna play it cool but keep talking to her in a slightly flirty way. F*ck it. Anything in life thats worth it, won't come easy.

 

She didn't flat out say NO, btw she's from a very small farm town and she's very blunt and says genuinely says whats on her mind. So I think maybe she REALLY does wanna focus on school. So I'm gonna go for it but not care about the outcome either way. Any advice on how to do this?

 

I like a guy's persistence if I'm interested in him. If he likes me and I'm not into it, I get really annoyed/creeped out if he persists.

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Cookiesandough
You're all gonna hate me but I think I'm gonna persist lol

 

Before you scold me let me explain:

 

In the past i've NEVER done that, if a girl wasn't fully into it I didn't even bother with them. But then you hear all these things along the line of "Women like persistence" or "Women like a guy who doesn't give up" Idk I guess I wanna try this method. Now I'm not gonna ask her out every single time or become needy or clingy to her ofcourse. I'm thinking I'm just gonna play it cool but keep talking to her in a slightly flirty way. F*ck it. Anything in life thats worth it, won't come easy.

 

She didn't flat out say NO, btw she's from a very small farm town and she's very blunt and says genuinely says whats on her mind. So I think maybe she REALLY does wanna focus on school. So I'm gonna go for it but not care about the outcome either way. Any advice on how to do this?

 

Going full creeper. Making justifications for it and everything. It doesn't matter what excuse they give, the meaning is the same: no. Is she gonna have to "unzip the lizard" (as one user here puts it)? She's politely let you know she's not interested. Find someone else who is !

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Honestly, your best game plan right now is to pretty much ignore her. Not in a mean way, but don't initiate contact.

 

 

I think she's being honest with you, I think she really DOES just want to focus on her studies right now because personally I would never entertain someone that long that I wasnt truly interested in. HOWEVER! (big however) if a really hot guy asked me out on a date, even if I was a full time brain surgeon, I wouldn't turn it down.

 

 

That means she isn't sure about you yet. Hence, my first sentence. The less interested you act in her, the more she's likely to notice you.

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I'm thinking I'm just gonna play it cool but keep talking to her in a slightly flirty way.

 

This is fine, but don't assume it's ever going to go anywhere. I hope you're not going to delete all your online dating profiles or stop talking to other women. You should treat this as a non-thing.

 

 

She didn't flat out say NO

 

She actually really did, though.

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You know, something else is bothering me.

 

You specifically said you "REALLY need a woman's/girl's opinion." And I know most of the responses you got here were from women...and you've pretty much completely disregarded all of our opinions, just like you're disregarding the word "No" from this woman in your class.

 

I think you should really think about why you're doing that.

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